Amiga Plus 2004 #6/Amiga Plus CD - 2004 - No. 06.iso/AmiSoft/Misc/imdb/imdbDiff040521.lha/diffs/quotes.diff

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Apply on: CRC: 0xAB265F81  File: quotes.list  Date: Sat May 22 01:00:00 2004
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CRC: 0xD4032183  File: quotes.list  Date: Sat May 29 01:00:00 2004
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This is the Quotes List v1981 [Sat May 29 00:31:25 BST 2004]
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  where the virus had been released] When your daughter is infected,
  I'm going to make you watch her die.
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Himself - Reject: I have no professional training whatsoever when it
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Simon Cowell: Rather like dinner with Paula Abdul: sweet but
  forgettable.

Host: So, William went to "Bang" somewhere other than Hollywood.

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Trance Gemini: Reality is wider than a single mind.

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[last lines]
[last line of the series]
Angel: Well, personally? I kinda want to slay the dragon. Let's go to
  work.

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[to Lorne]
Host's Elder: May you rot in Tarkna! [slams door as Lorne's Elder
  walks inside] Numfar, do the Dance of Shame.

[Angel discusses his plan for the Final Battle]
Angel: This may come out a little pretentious, but... one of you will
  betray me.
[Spike eagerly raises his hand. Angel ignores him]
Angel: Wes.
Spike: Ohhh... can I deny you three times?

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Roy Cohn: AIDS. Homosexual. Gay. Lesbian. You think these are names
  that tell you who a person sleeps with, but they don't tell you
  that.
Henry: No?
Roy Cohn: No. Like all labels they tell you one thing, and one thing
  only: Where does an individual so identified fit into the food
  chain, the pecking order? Not ideology or sexual taste, but
  something much simpler: clout. Not who I fuck or who fucks me, but
  who will come to the phone when I call, who owes me favors. This is
  what a label refers to. Now to someone who does not understand
  this, a homosexual is what I am because I have sex with men, but
  really this is wrong. A homosexual is somebody who, in 15 years of
  trying cannot get a pissant anit-discrimination bill through the
  city council. A homosexual is somebody who knows nobody and who
  nobody knows. Who has zero clout. Does this sound like me Henry?

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Dr. Weird: Gentleman! Cut off my head with such velocity, that the
  blood rockets out of my neck and propels my lifeless body to
  Phoenix!
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Dr. Weird: Your momma, Steve! Now get the axe!
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Inignot: [flipping the bird] I hope he can see this 'cause I'm doing
  it as hard as I can.
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Master Shake: I haven't paid taxes in six years, and I'm not getting
  busted by a damn sandwich.

Turkatron: Enjoy those tacos now, for in 1000 years they will be
  illegal... eh Ha Ha Ha! I think we all know why.

Master Shake: [to Frylock] Look who just ruined Halloween... You
  know, you're like an A-Bomb. Everyone's laughin', havin' a good
  time, and then you show up. BOOM! Everything's dead.

Dr. Weird: Gentlemen! Where is my hairarium?
Steve: It's on your head.
Dr. Weird: Oh. [pause] Bullshit!

Master Shake: No! Let's get right down to it. What I say is very
  baffling.

Frylock: That's not a toy!
Master Shake: You say that about everything you own. You should own
  toys. They're fun.

Meatwad: [Meatwad rolls up to Carl dragging a bag behind him] Hey
  Carl!
Carl: Oh great, you've seen me.
Meatwad: Hey, you want to contribute to Sirloin's hunger drive? He
  goin to feed the shorties y'all.
Carl: [Meatwad hands Carl the bag, Carl takes it] Yeah, let me see
  here. I think I got some, uh, oysters over here.
Meatwad: [Carl proceeds to spit into the bag] Oh, thank you.
Carl: And be sure to thank Sirloin for keeping me up all night.
Meatwad: Yeah, I do that. Hey, I thought that oysters had shells?
Carl: No, usually, but not these. They were, uh, farm raised... in my
  throat... with cheese. Hey uh, you want some crabs? Cause I got
  some of them.
Meatwad: No... no my, my bag's pretty full right now.
Carl: I don't know if they're Alaskan King, but they feel huge...

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Darryl: [watching Zoey cry] It's like a Springsteen concert. It just
  goes on and on.

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Na'Toth #2: Ambassador, it is not my place to speculate on how
  anything gets into your bed.
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Na'Toth #2: Ambassador, it was the only way to disable the
  pain-givers. I had to hit them as hard as possible, as often as
  possible and still make it appear as though I were beating you into
  another incarnation.
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Na'Toth #2: I didn't say that.
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Na'Toth #2: And you will know fear.
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Captain John Sheridan: In breaking away from Earth, we have begun a
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Captain John Sheridan: From the stars we came. From the stars we
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Dr. Stephen Franklin: Doesn't anyone listen to one damn word I say?

Dr. Stephen Franklin: Have a seat, lend a hand, or get out of my way,
  but do not question me in my lab, doctor!

Dr. Stephen Franklin: This damn well better be worth it. Because if
  this story of yours turns out to be bogus, I'm going to kill you
  twice. Now you got that?

Dr. Stephen Franklin: We don't want cooperation. We want conversion.
  We want repentance.

Dr. Stephen Franklin: I realize that I always defined myself in terms
  of what I wasn't. I wasn't a good soldier like my father. I wasn't
  the job. I wasn't a good prospect for marriage or kids. Always what
  I wasn't, never what I was. And when you do that, you miss the
  moments. And the moments are all we've got. When I thought I was
  going to die, even after everything that's happened, I realized I
  didn't want to let go. I was willing to do it all over again, and
  this time I could appreciate the moments. I can't go back, but I
  can appreciate what I have right now. And I can define myself by
  what I am instead of what I'm not.
Captain John Sheridan: And what are you?
Dr. Stephen Franklin: Alive. Everything else is negotiable.

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Doc Brown: Holy Marconi!
Verne Brown: And cheese!

Doc Brown: Oucha magoucha!

Marty McFly: Is there a Tannen in EVERY century?

Marty McFly: What could possibly happen to us?
Doc Brown: Marty, you remember what happened to the Wicked Witch of
  the West in The Wizard of Oz?
Marty McFly: Yeah.
Doc Brown: We won't be so lucky!
Marty McFly: What a world!

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Richard Winters: We're not lost, Private, we're in Normandy.

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Inferno: [confused] Royalty. Why was I not chosen?
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  gets caught in the Maximal's trap]
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Depthcharge: I gotta hand it to you, Optimus... when you screw up,
  you screw up big time.

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[watching a music video]
Beavis: Hey Butthead, you know I'd like to kiss my ass.
Butt-head: Beavis, why the hell do you wanna kiss your ass?
Beavis: Cos I wanna see what my bunghole looks like.
[he tries and falls of the couch]

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# "Bishôjo senshi Sailor Moon Sailor Stars" (1996)
Luna: A man is like a wild animal that lives on instinct!

Kou Seiya: Penetrating the darkness of night...
Kou Taiki: ...the air of freedom breaks through!
Kou Yaten: We are the three sacred shooting stars!
Kou Seiya: Sailor Star Fighter!
Kou Taiki: Sailor Star Maker!
Kou Yaten: Sailor Star Healer!
Kou Seiya, Kou Taiki, Kou Yaten: Sailor Starlights... stage on!

Kou Seiya: All life in this galaxy has a shining star within itself.


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Mossop, Keanrick: Aahhhhh. Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will
  make amends. Aaahh.
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Mossop, Keanrick: Aahhhhh. Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will
  make amends. Ohhh.
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Mossop, Keanrick: Aahhhhh. Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will
  make amends. Owwww.
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Mossop, Keanrick: YES.
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Mossop, Keanrick: Aahhhhh. Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will
  make amends. Owwwwww.
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Mossop, Keanrick: Aahhhhh. Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will
  make amends. Owwwwww.
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Mossop, Keanrick: Aahhhhh. Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will
  make amends. Owwwwww.
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[last lines for Episode 1.2: "Death on Sun Mountain"]
Ben Cartwright: One place or another, there'll always be a Mark
  Burdette, and for every one like him who makes it, a thousand will
  fail. But then, what are thousand to one odds for a man who looks
  up into the sky and sees... a bonanza!

Adam Cartwright: Let's go back to the Ponderosa, Pa. This isn't any
  of our affair.
Ben Cartwright: We can't ignore the rest of the world. We're the only
  stabilizing influence in the country.

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[after Topanga changes the rear-view mirror position while Cory
  drives and Cory makes her change it back]
Cory: Great! Now I can see if there are any cars coming up my crotch!

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Riley: [realizing Forrest is a zombie-robot] Oh God.
Forrest: God has nothing to do with it.

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Willow: Xander, gather up the knock-knock jokes.
Buffybot: Ooh! Who's there?
Xander: You know, if we want to be exactly sure...
Spike: [interrupting] It'll never be exactly.
Xander: I know.
Tara Maclay: The only really real Buffy is Buffy.
Giles: And she's gone.
Buffybot: You know if we want to be exactly sure it'll never be
  exactly I know the only really real Buffy is Buffy and she's gone
  who?

Willow: You'll be facing big, hairy danger.
Buffy: Biggest. And, yes, hairy. Think danger with a beard.

Vamp Willow: Life is a neck. Drink deep.

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Chris Pirillo: I mean, it's on Microsoft's page. How evil can it be?
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Catherine Schwartz: Steve Case is the chairman of what media giant?
Chris Pirillo: AOHell.
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Alison Strahan: How often should I clear my cache?
Martin Sargent: Every time you surf porn and don't want anyone to
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Brett Larson: What happened to radio since 1996? It's just gone down
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Brett Larson: And the quality's not that great, because you have to
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Morgan Webb: How big is your monitor?
Chris Pirillo: That's a personal question.
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Brett Larson: I'm practicing for, uh, infomercials.
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Chris Pirillo: Someday my prints will come.
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Chris Pirillo: I need a live spell-check on the air, you know?
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Catherine Schwartz: In Microsoft Word, what does the Virgins Versions
  Option do?
Chris Pirillo: You sacrificing someone on a mountaintop there, Cat?
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Chris Pirillo: I'm a geek not a nerd.
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Chris Pirillo: As someone said I have a face for radio, and others
  have said I have a face that only a motherboard could love...
  ahem... what about you?
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Alison Strahan: Is DOS dead?
Chris Pirillo: No, actually, it's not. It's bagging groceries with
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Alison Strahan: Quicken or MS Money?
Chris Pirillo: Quicken! 'Cause Microsoft doesn't own it. Yet.
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Alison Strahan: Are you a gamer?
Chris Pirillo: Uh, yeah. I play hardwood solitaire all the time.

Catherine Schwartz: What do you think about those controversial video
  games?
Chris Pirillo: I love 'em!

Morgan Webb: I think that we should have a slumber party at the
  TechTV studios.

Brett Larson: I'm going to agree to their User Agreement that says,
  "You're a sucker".
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  understand why Steve is so upset about it]
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[Steve's girlfriend has found a pornographic video in his VCR]
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  over Mariella]
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[Susan is about to show the others one of her breasts]
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Alice: Men always get disappointed when the flat-chested friend turns
  up.

Jane: I once went on holiday and pretended to be twins. It was
  amazing fun. I invented this mad, glamorous sister and went around
  really annoying everybody. And d'you know, I could get away with
  anything when I was my crazy twin Jane.
Sally: But you're Jane.
Jane: Kinda stuck. It's a long story.

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Fluffy the hamster: I haven't got any circus skills at all. I can't
  juggle, I can't throw the knife at the lady, I can't tame the lion
  and I can't crack the whip or... or jump into a small bucket. Can't
  do any of those things.
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  opening your voice and going 'aaa ooo aaa ooo aaa ooo'.
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Fluffy the hamster: Clowns are creepy aren't they. They're not funny
  at all, they're just weird.
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Security Bulldog: You start Monday, Tuesday you do mornings,
  Wednesday, Thursday you do afternoons, Friday, Saturday, Sunday you
  do nights, but you don't, I've done this, you don't know if you're
  coming or going, every two days you've got to change your sleep
  pattern, it's awful.
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The Amoeba: I think I have a very intimate relationship with water
  'cause I'm primarily composed of it. But I do think water is one of
  the great mysteries.
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Matilda the cow: We did a show a couple of years ago and 8,000 kids
  saw it in a week, we had about 1,000 kids per performance, and the
  kids were like, you know, they were eight or nine, screaming blue
  murder. Oh I've never been so scared in all my life, why did I- I
  must be stupid. Then you get out there and you look out and you
  think, they're just loving it and they're completely engrossed in
  what you're doing.
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  the last in Britain to be gassed.
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[episode - The Circus]
The Flying Pig: It's, it's the erm, it's the [laughs] , it's, it's
  knowing that whatever I take on to perform in front of the
  audience, actually it comes through me, it's something that I take
  on and it just... Kaboom!

[episode - The Sea]
The Shark: The sound of the sea. Definitely, the sound of the sea. I
  find it really, really peaceful.

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Dr. Nigel Townsend: Jordan, you should know that last night will
  never happen again.
Jordan: Oh God, what are we talking about here?
Dr. Nigel Townsend: My new image in the workplace. No more
  Nigel-the-computer-jockey. Okay, I was swept up in the moment, but
  now it's truly done.

Jordan: Look... You guys get along. I need you to talk to him.
Woody: He pulled a gun on me!
Jordan: That's bonding for him. He feels comfortable with you.
Woody: He said he was going to shoot me!
Jordan: You see... You guys are closer than I thought.

Dr. Peter Winslow: So... We're looking for a missing girl and a guy
  who doesn't exist. Hmmm... That's challenging.
Lily: Tell me about it!

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# "Daddy Dearest" (1993)
Frank Sinatra: [to Al Mitchell] You stay away from my wife. [He
  lightly pats Al's cheek twice]


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Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: Storyteller: And so, the
  battle rages on and on, month after month, year after year...
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Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: Storyteller: I don't know why
  I try.
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# "Day Today, The" (1994)
Keith Mandement: This pool's been open nearly 40 years, and, in all
  that time I only slipped up once, to my mind. I was engaged in a
  particularly tricky word puzzle and 40 people had broken in and
  were in the pool, playing around, ducking, bombing and doing all
  manner of prohibited activities, and eventually someone was killed.
Interviewer: But given that your sole responsibility is to maintain
  the security of the pool, isn't that an indictment against
  yourself?
Keith Mandement: Well, I would say this - I've been working here for
  18 years, and in 1975 no one died. In 1976, no one died. In 1977,
  no one died. In 1978, no one died. In 1979, no-one died. In 1980...
  someone died. In 1981, no one died. In 1982 there was the incident
  with the pigeon. In 1983, no one died. In 1984, no one died. In
  1985, no one died. In 1986... I mean, I could go on.
Interviewer: No.
Keith Mandement: Right.


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[Nicole has just introduced Crystal to Brady]
Nicole: This is Marlena's stepson.
Crystal Chablis: He's Marlena's stepson and your step-grandson? What,
  is everyone related in this town?

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Reverend H.W. Smith: When I read the Scriptures, I do not feel
  Christ's love as I used to.
Calamity Jane Canary: Aw, is that so? That is too bad! Join the
  fuckin' club of most of us!

Al Swearengen: If I bleat when I speak it's because I just got
  fuckin' fleeced.

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# "Digimon Frontier" (2002)
Tomoki Himi: Ice into Flame!
Izumi Orimoto: Wind into Flame!
Junpei Shibayama: Thunder into Light!
Kouichi Kimura: Darkness into Light!
Takuya Kanbara: Unity Execute! Unified Spirit Evolution! Emperor
  Greymon!
Kouji Minamoto: Unity Execute! Unified Spirit Evolution! Magna
  Garurumon!


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Chi-Chi: Goku, wedding is not a food.

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Duckman: Hey cantino boy. I need a tall glass of water. My
  sister-in-law and her birthday suit just gave me a libidoectomy.

Judge: Mr Tetsloff, is your home security system defective?
Terry Duke Tetsloff: Only if you're dumb enough to go in there and
  try to fix it yourself.

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Jimmy: Sarah! Help! BUNNY ATTACK!
Sarah: JIMMY!

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[Trying to satisfy Jorgen Van Strangle with a slide show]
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[After being turned into a turtle by Wanda's ex boyfriend]
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[After having his hand kissed by Wanda's ex]
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[After being turned into a turtle and found by a hungry boy]
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Cosmo: That's wiggity-wiggity-wack!
Wanda: That's wiggity-wiggity-WHAT?

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Disabled Man: [with electronic voice] A sphincter says what?
Joe Swanson: What?
Disabled Man: Ha ha ha ha. You stupid bastard.

Disabled Man: [electronic voice] That was pathetic. Tell your wife to
  come over to my place if she wants a little boom
  shacka-lacka-lacka-lacka-lacka. Boom
  shacka-lacka-lacka-lacka-lacka. Boom
  shacka-lacka-lacka-lacka-lacka. Boom.

Joe Swanson: Peter, it's over.
Peter Griffin: Over? What are you talking about? What kind of talk is
  that? It's un-American. Did George W. Bush quit even after losing
  the popular vote? No! Did he quit after losing millions of dollars
  of his father's money in failed oil companies? No! Did he quit
  after knocking that girl up? No! Did he quit after he got that DUI?
  No! Did he quit after he got busted for drunk and disorderly
  conduct at a football game? No! Did he quit...
Joe Swanson: I get the message, Peter.

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Alex P. Keaton: Remember when we were kids and I run you over with my
  bicycle?
Erwin 'Skippy' Handleman: Yes.
Alex P. Keaton: I have a car now.

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  was - savage when he had to be.
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John Crichton: Bingo. Give Brainiac the fluffy doll.
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[Ted answers the phone]
Bishop Brennan: Crilly, It's me.
Father Ted: Oh Feck!
Bishop Brennan: What?
Father Ted: [in French accent] Who ees thees? Zere is no Creely 'ere.
[Ted hangs up]
Father Ted: God almighty! I just said "feck" to Bishop Brennan!
Father Dougal: Oho! He won't like that!
Father Ted: It might be alright though. I disguised my voice so he'd
  think he dialled the wrong number.
[phone rings, Ted picks it up]
Father Ted: Ah, Bishop Brennan. I think you must have got the wrong
  number when you called there.

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Inara: Yes, but...
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[on merchandise they've just stolen]
Wash: I'd say worth a little risk.
Jayne: Yeah, that was some pretty risky sittin' ya did there.
Wash: That's right, of course. Because they wouldn't arrest me if we
  got boarded. I'm just the pilot. I could always say that I was
  flying the ship by accident.

Commander Harken: I noticed your ship's called Serenity. You were
  stationed on Hara at the end of the war. Battle of Serenity Valley
  took place there, if I recall.
Captain Reynolds: You know, I believe you might be right.
Commander Harken: The Independents suffered a pretty crushing defeat
  there. Some say that after Serenity, the Brown-coats were through.
  That the war ended in that valley. Seems odd that you would name
  your ship after a battle you were on the wrong side of.
Captain Reynolds: Maybe on the losing side. Still not convinced it
  was the wrong one.

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Guitierrez: Oh, that stupid man at the store! [throws it down, picks
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Guitierrez: I am stronger than you, faster than you, and better than
  you.
Freakazoid: Yes, but can you dance?
Guitierrez: [does a short step dance] Yes.
Freakazoid: [hushed whisper] Wow.

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Nicholas 'Nicky' Andrew Banks: Mommy and Daddy won't let me watch
  "Bad Boys".
Will: "Bad Boys", huh? Whatcha gonna do?

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Julie: Ok Ross, I'm gonna narrow it down to this cat right here...
  and this one with the stripes ok? You pick...
Ross: Wait woah... I uh... I have to pick?
Julie: Yeah which ever one you want
Ross: [looks back and forth between the kittens... sighs] Well, I
  don't know it's not that easy to choose... both cats are beautiful
  and... funny... I'm sure I'd be happy with either cat...
Julie: Well do you want to take both?
Ross: Both? Both? I can't have TWO cats! Joey's the kind of guy who
  can have two cats!

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Rachel: You learned some new moves.
Ross: A friend at work gave me Sex for Dummies as a joke. Who's
  laughing now?

Rachel: You didn't finish reading it?
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for eighteen
  pages - front and back!

Rachel: Didn't the chick and the duck di...
Phoebe: -ve, dive. Yeah, they dove. Head first into fun on the farm.

Rachel: So you guys get your Ya-Ya's by taking money from all of your
  friends
Chandler: Yeah and I get my Ya-Ya's from my kia

Rachel: God, could you beleive what a jerk Ross was being?
Monica: Don't pay any attention to him, he's always like that
Phoebe: [laughs]
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Hello kettle? This is Monica you're black!

Joey: Hey you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it expensive?
Chandler: Only if you order stuff...
Joey: I'm takin Ursula there, it's her birthday
Ross: Woah, woah, woah! What about Pheobe's birthday?
Joey: When's that?
Ross: Tonight!
Joey: Oh man... what are the odds of that happening?
Ross: You take your time...

Chandler: "Garge"?
Ross: Nautical term
Chandler: Cheating man!

Ross: Uh, Pheebs I don't think "scrunchie" is a word...
Phoebe: Why not? If "crunchie" is a word why isn't "scrunchie"?
Chandler: Alright well I'm usin that same argument for "fligament"

Ross: [runs into hospital holding Marcel] You've got to help me my
  monkey swallowed a "K"!
Nurse: Get that animal outta here!
Ross: No the animal hospital is on the other side of the city he's
  choking!
Nurse: Excuse me? This hospital is for people!
Ross: Lady he IS people! He has a name! OK? He watches Jepordy! He...
  he... touches himself when no one's watching!

Ross: Hey who is this Casey? Why's he calling Rachel?
Chandler: Well I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance... You know
  make a little love... Well pretty much get down tonight...
Ross: [puts message in cupboard]

Phoebe: [Pulls out Monica's old bathing suit] Hey Monica what's this?
Monica: Oh, that's my old bathing suit from high school... I was
  bigger then...
Chandler: Really... I thought that's what they used to cover
  Connecticutt when it rained...

Phoebe: Oh! What is that shiny thing?
Ross: [Quickly picks up Chandlers braclet from the floor]
Chandler: It's a... [goes to take it away from Ross but Ross pushes
  his hand away]... Yeah it's a little flashy...
Ross: No no... no no... this isn't flashy enough for a good fella...

Phoebe: I just realized something. Joker is poker with a j...
  coincidence?
Chandler: Hey, that's "joincidence"... with a c.

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Ben Charnquist: I can help you.
66798a67230,67240
Fry: [writing] "Leela cried as Fry lay crushed under the book case.
  The giant brain laughed 'Ha ha ha!' Then, for no reason, he left
  Earth, never to return. The end." There. Now he's trapped in a book
  I wrote. A crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors.
Chief Giant Brain: The big brain am winning! I am the greetest!
  Mwa-ha-ha-ha! I must now leave Earth for no raisin!

Leela: So, how was the universe created? [Nibbler babbles in his
  native language] And the meaning of existence? [Nibbler talks some
  more] So every religion is wrong.

67330a67773,67775
Lexington: Boy, the city sure is different when it snows.
Brooklyn: Yeah. It's colder.

67415a67861,67870
Garth Marenghi: I have never exploded. But I know what it would be
  like. Don't ask me how. I just know. I've always just known.
Dean Learner: I don't know whether someone close to Garth had
  exploded - whether it was a colleague or a pet - but you could that
  scene meant a lot to him. There were tears on set. Not from Garth.
  He was strong for the crew.

Dean Learner: I had a cat once. I dropped a safe on it. It was a
  write-off, so I stood on its head.

73649a74105,74110
Phil Ken Sebben: And for everyone's safety and security, and to
  preserve our way of life, I'm taking a drastic step and putting up
  a security camera. Just one... for safety, security, and
  omniscient, unblinking information gathering of everyone's
  activities.

73873,73874c74334,74337
Hades: Hi, kids! Name's Hades and I'm your new principal. I'll be
  instituting a new educational paradigm based on the three Rs:
  revenge, requital, and retribution. You'll love it. And get this.
  There is no homework.
73892c74355
[the Argonauts are greeted by nymphs who invite them to stay in their
73894,73895c74357,74358
Jason of the Argonauts: Well, it's obvious what's happening here.
  These nymphs are trying to keep us from our quest.
73899c74362
Jason of the Argonauts: How's my hair? Black as pitch?
73901,73902c74364,74365
Jason of the Argonauts: Oh well. I hear some fellow Grecians are
  working on a formula for that, anyway.
73928a74392,74403
Daedalus: Behold, the fundamental machine: the lever. Sublimely
  simple. Say it with me.
Hercules: I got it.
Daedalus: No, say lever! Never mind. Here's a working model. As my
  close personal friend Archimedes once said, "Give me a lever long
  enough, a fulcrum high enough, a place to stand, and I'll kiss you
  on the nose." He was a strange man.

Hades: [taking Poseidon's trident from Hercules] Who wants trident? I
  do, I do! Didn't you read the fine print on this? For ages immortal
  and up.

74070c74545
[Helga bumps into someone]
74088c74563
[Harold gets hit with a baseball]
74094c74569
[Arnold steps up to bat]
74123,74124c74598,74599
Grandpa: Never eat raspberries. [Grandpa holds his stomach] Gotta go!
  [Grandpa runs to the bathroom]
74130c74605
[The kids are thinking of ideas for something to do]
74179c74654
[After Grandpa Phil gave him advice]
74189c74664
[Turns knob and it explodes, sending Bob into a tree]
74217c74692
  "egg baby"]
74240a74716,74720
Grandpa: [Grandpa is reading out of Arnold's father's journal, an
  entry describing a volcanic eruption] "It was terrifying and
  beautiful all at the same time" [to Grandma] kind of like you,
  Pookie.

74845a75326,75331
# "Hilarious House of Frightenstein, The" (1971)
The Narrator: The castle lights are growing dim, there's no-one left
  but me, and him. When next we meet in Frankenstone, don't come
  alone


74925a75412,75422
Furillo: [commenting on an arrest by a female officer] Nice bust,
  officer.
Daniels: [to the Deputy Chief] That's the most accurate thing
  Furillo's said today.

Andy Renko: [Renko is involved in a scam that may lead to a big
  arrest] I can see it now; "Detective" Renko, "Sergeant" Renko,
  "Hero" Renko...
Officer Robert 'Bobby' Hill: Convict Renko, unemployed Renko, Going
  to jail Renko.

78277c78774,78777
Mark the Bird: Well, you heard the man!

Mark the Bird: [after Hugh has opened a gate] You know all those
  things I just said? They didn't include you
78641a79142,79145
Ricky Ricardo: I need a copy of the marriage license for Lucille
  MacGillicudy; what? M-A-C, ah Gillicudy. Right and Ricardo Ricardo
  y Acha. Acha, Acha; thank you, but I wasn't sneezing.

78983,78984c79487,79488
Michael Ian Black: Raiders of the Lost Ark... finally making
  archaeology cool.
79076c79580
[on U2's "The Joshua Tree"]
79079a79584,79588
Joe Elliott: [on big-haired band of the '80s] Oh please don't drag us
  into that lot! No! No! No! No! No!
Dave Mustaine: All we wanted to do was just light a match and toss it
  onto their head. Watch it explode.

80464a80974,80976
Gatenmaru: Wow. That's sword's sharp.
Inuyasha: Start making funeral plans, genius.

81188a81701,81706
Mac: Men come and go in my life, yet you stay. Will you promise to
  stay?
Harm: Yeah
Mac: I guess you better hear this...
Harm: hear what? [screen fades out]

81869a82388,82390
Judy Jetson: I'm in love.
Rosie: Again?

81917a82439,82476
George Jetson: I've got a wife, two kids and 10 finance companies to
  support. How am I supposed to pay my bills?

Mugsy Megatron: Ten thousand unemployed gorillas and I gotta pick a
  giggler.

Co-Worker: Did you hear Mr. Spacely's latest plan?
George Jetson: Yeah, the slave driver. Imagine putting your back on a
  four day week. What does he think this is? The 20th century?

Elroy: What are you watching?
Kenny Countdown: It's the billionth rerun of The Flintstones. [Fred
  says he famous catchphrase before diving into a pool ontop of
  Barney] "Yabba Dabba Doo" Ha ha ha ha.

Mr. Spacely: Keep this up, Partner, and you'll have money to burn.
George Jetson: [Thinks he's dying] I was kinda hoping to go in the
  other direction.

Mugsy Megatron: [Pretending to be a director filming a heist TV show]
  It's called the, um, The Unspaceables.
Elroy: The Unspaceables? I love that show. Lot's of action, and cops
  and robbers.
Mugsy Megatron: Er, no cops in this one. Only robbers.

George Jetson: What are you worried about? It's my life.
Mr. Spacely: Yeah well it's MY life jacket.
George Jetson: Alright, let'er rip!
Mr. Spacely: Don't say that!

Mr. Spacely: [The life jacket, once put in the wash, is destroyed] It
  was hit by lightning. Missiles. It was indestructable!
George Jetson: But it isn't washable. We should've put a label on it,
  "Dry clean only".

Cogswell: It's not what you think, Spacely. I didn't hear one word of
  your outrageous offer to Jetson.

82375a82935,82946
Grace Polk: Hey, Geek.
Luke: Ah, Grace. I was afraid your father wouldn't give you the
  message.
Grace Polk: Yeah. Thanks for leaving a message with my father *the
  Rabbi* saying you want to spend the night with me building a *gun*.

Luke: Not here to spy. I'm not even in the science fair anymore.
Friedman: Why not?
Luke: FBI confiscated my project. [Friedman laughs] I'm not joking.
Glynis Figliola: I always knew you had what it takes to contravene
  national security.

82928c83499
The Flash: Dibs on the Amazon.
82988,82989c83559,83561
Batman: Wally West, Diana Lane, Clark Kent...
[Takes off mask]
Batman: Bruce Wayne.
83470a84043,84056
# "Kidô senshi Gandamu" (1979)
Narrator: It is the year 0079 of the Universal Century. A
  half-century has passed since Earth began moving its burgeoning
  population into gigantic orbiting space colonies. A new home for
  mankind, where people are born and raised. And die. 9 months ago,
  the cluster of colonies furthest from the Earth, called Side 3,
  proclaimed itself the Principality of Zeon and launched a war of
  independence against the Earth Federation. Initial fighting lasted
  over one month and saw both sides lose half their respective
  populations. People were horrified by the indescribable atrocities
  that had been committed in the name of independence. Eight months
  had passed since the rebellion began. They were at a stalemate.


83767a84354,84362
Gemini: The Worldwide Evil Empire, also known as WEE. It's an
  acronym.
Ron Stoppable: Acronym. Hmm, yeah, that's a school word. I should
  know this.
Gemini: I am Gemini!
Ron Stoppable: Dude, I am Virgo, but what's your name?
Gemini: Gemini!
Ron Stoppable: Oh, it's an acronym! Oh-kay!

85442a86038,86071
Harland Williams: [changing Conan's opinion on what is the dumbest
  thing ever] Wait a minute! Have you ever woken your grandmother up
  at three in the morning and smashed her in the face with a canoe?

Conan O'Brien: What made you go down to Chinatown?
Harland Williams: I just love it. I love "culture", man. Daddy digs a
  little sweet 'n' sour culture.

Harland Williams: I gotta ask you, do you ever get your arthritic
  grandparents and take 'em out on the lawn and drag 'em around to
  rake the leaves?

Harland Williams: How dare you rape me with your lunges!

Harland Williams: [on the background curtains] I love the little
  stars here. Every night when I watch your show I look at all the
  speckles in the sky. And if you squint just right, just right, it
  almost looks like those little, cute little dots on Morgan
  Freeman's face.

Harland Williams: [on living in L.A] You get critters in your house,
  like a lot of spiders and ants and creatures. You know, you go to
  sleep and... The other night I could feel things crawling around in
  my bed and I flick on the light and there's Barry Manilow and David
  Hasselhoff!

Harland Williams: [after hearing there is no pineapple shrub] Maybe
  that's why that old lady said 'Stop spraying whipped cream on my
  bushes, you bastard'!

Conan O'Brien: We got a good show tonight. Right, Max?
Bandleader: Absolutely, Conan.
Conan O'Brien: Not a sincere bone in his body.

85972a86602,86605
Larry Adler: [an activist is upset that Adam is prosecuting an AIDS
  victim] If you don't back off on this, Adam, I will bury you!
Adam Schiff: Start digging.

86007a86641,86646
[Eames, while examining a recently discovered, 20 year old partly
  decomposed corpse, realizes the victim was wearing a very rare mini
  skirt]
Detective Robert Goren: You wore one of those?
Detective Alexandra Eames: Looked good in it, too.

86706c87345
  judges] I've had this nightmare before, only I was naked.
87393c88032
  died. You were the only one to survive.
89224a89864,89868
# "Look Around You" (2002)
Narrator: You don't have to be a brain surgeon to operate on the
  brain.


90084a90729,90736
PA System Announcer: Hear ye, Hear ye, it's 0700 and all is hell.
  Incoming wounded, folks.

[there has been a long wait for a large load of wounded people]
PA System Announcer: Attention, all personnel... the wounded you've
  all been waiting for has finally arrived in person... report to the
  Big Top immediately; the circus is about to begin.

90588a91241,91244
Rosa Parks: What's up with all you white people? Ya'll got no asses!
  It's like God said, "I'm gonna take your asses and give 'em to the
  black people!" See... [turns around] We've got TWO asses!

90609c91265,91283
  doesn't have to be any good? I assure you, our collection of third
  rate programming is second to none.

Veronica: You went to Sundance before it was famous? That doesn't
  sound like you.
Alan Roy: I was skiing.
Veronica: That sounds like you.

Victor: How could you do this to me? How could you say that the
  Bionic Woman is fundamentally flawed?
Richard Strong: Okay, she's a bionic woman, I get that. But she has
  that bionic ear.
Victor: Yeah, super hearing!
Richard Strong: But wouldn't that mean that she'd be hearing
  everything at once? Wouldn't she just go crazy?
Victor: She does flip her hair out of the way.
Richard Strong: Oh, so the hair makes all the difference?
Victor: She has VERY THICK HAIR!
Richard Strong: Now you're just being unreasonable.
94897a95572,95582
Steve: [Al and Steve are watching the "Video Slut" tryouts on cable
  access TV] Look at that one, Al! So that's what they look like
  before you marry them, eh?
Al: Wait a minute, that's Kelly!
Steve: Oh. You know what, Al? I really promised Marcy I'd get home in
  time to cut the grass. [runs out of the room]
Al: I'm comin' to help you, pumpkin! [leaves the room]

Al: [carrying a suitcase] Well, I'm all packed for prison.
Kelly: Have a nice time, Daddy.

95645a96331,96388
# "McLeod's Daughters" (2001)
Claire McLeod: What Alex? It's just a boob.
Alex Ryan: Yeah but it's a breastfeeding boob, not a GROPING boob.

Becky Howard: Men! You can't live with em, you can't shoot em.

Claire McLeod: Well if Clint Eastwood turns up to save us - tell him
  to rack off.

[Tess has spent the night at Alex's looking after "his" baby which
  had been dumped on his doorstep]
Claire McLeod: I would put money on you having a problem.
Tess Silverman McLeod: Yeah well, getting rid of fornicating pests is
  quite appealing this morning.

Claire McLeod: You ready for another beer, Maid Marion? [laughs]
Alex Ryan: Yeah thanks Nick.
Tess Silverman McLeod: [laughing] What?
Claire McLeod: It's his middle name. [everyone laughs]
Alex Ryan: Yeah it's Marion, right yeah, go on get it out of your
  system, have a good laugh.

Alex Ryan: [drunk] I love you, Claire. I love you more than my
  chopper.

Tess Silverman McLeod: You are feeling guilty, aren't you?
Nick Ryan: So take advantage.
Tess Silverman McLeod: Oh, I intend to.

Dave Brewer: Maybe we could pose with some stock... like the sheep.
Nick Ryan: Sure that'll look great! three naked guys and a paddock
  full of pregnant sheep.

[after the shed exploded during the fire]
Nick Ryan: If you wanted to get rid of the shed you could've just
  knocked it down

Alex Ryan: I'm no expert but I reckon you're jealous. You don't like
  the idea of sharing Tess with anyone else, do you?
Nick Ryan: You're right. You're no expert.

Claire McLeod: Put it away mate
Alex Ryan: Get out of here, I'm a man, she's a woman.
Claire McLeod: Thanks, so what does that make me?
Alex Ryan: Why you're a... you're a Claire

Alex Ryan: I love it when you talk dirty

Tess Silverman McLeod: After Claire admits stealing a stamp at
  school. Nerd crimes don't count Claire.

Claire McLeod: Have I ever mentioned Sandra Kinsela
Tess Silverman McLeod: Well, no
Claire McLeod: There's a reason for that... I hate her guts.

Dave Brewer: Turn it up, we're taking over.


97381c98124,98130
Jim: Hi, Mrs. F.

Kevin French: [while drinking] History is full of great homos. Oscar
  Wilde was a homo. Alexander the Great was a homo. You know who else
  is a great homo? You are, you big homo!
Gus: [Grabs Kevin's collar] That is a mean and hurtful term. Please
  stop using it, or I will be forced to clobber you.
97440a98190,98191
Lady Aberlin: Oh boy. Oh girl.

97991,97994c98742,98747
Sharona Fleming: Oh, suck it up.
Adrian Monk: I think it's your turn to suck it up.
Benjy Fleming: Why don't you both suck it up?
Sharona Fleming: You kiss your mother with that mouth?
Benjy Fleming: No.
Sharona Fleming: Well, you should. Come here.
97997c98750
Boy: [slipping] Whoa!
101009a101763,101784
Abi: Don't you like Halloween?
Ben: I've nothing against devil worship per se. Just the enforced
  jollity that comes with it.

Ben: [grabs Michael on the neck from behind] Right, gotcha!
Michael: How long have you been waiting there?
Ben: Hours. Where's my £60?
Michael: I put it in the bank.
Ben: At this time of night?
Michael: Erm... I did it online.
Ben: [looking puzzled] I gave you cash!
Michael: It's got a holographic modem.
Ben: What's that?
Michael: Well... you scan the bank notes into the feeder slot, which
  then converts them into cyber-pennies... which, then
  transmatterates them directly into my account.
Ben: Well, transmatterate them back.
Michael: Erm... you can't do it twice. They'll disintegrate.
Ben: Come on! You can't fool me! I'm not your mother! If you can
  transmatterate them one way, you can transmatterate them back! Now,
  where's my cash?

101488a102264,102281
Bobo: [we only see static photos of Observer and Bobo] Now Mike, I
  was supposed to send you the movie entitled "The Incredibly Strange
  Creatures that Stopped Living and Became Mixed up zombies" but, uh,
  I forgot how.
Mike Nelson: Oh, that's OK Bobo.
Crow: Yeah, we'll skip it.
Observer: Oh, for the love of Heidegger. I'll send it, you blustering
  hermunculan...
Bobo: Alright I've had enough out of you [we hear groaning]
Observer: What are you doing? [horrified] That's disgusting!
Bobo: You don't know the half of it. How about a game of catch?
Observer: What are you going to do with that? Oh no, you can't
  possibly...
Bobo: START RUNNING CASPER!
Mike Nelson: [We hear Observer's screams and Bobo hollering at the
  top of his lungs] Remind me to never cross Bobo.
Crow: WE'VE GOT MOVIE SIGN!

102628a103422,103423
Mike Nelson: [during a dance number] I think this is a can-can't.

102978a103774,103828
Crow: [the macho names they invent for the films hero] Slab bulkhead!
Tom Servo: Bridge Largemeat!
Mike Nelson: Punt Speedchunk!
Crow: Butch Deadlift!
Crow: Bald Bigplank!
Mike Nelson: Splint Chesthair!
Mike Nelson: Flint Ironstag!
Crow: Bulk Vanderhuge!
Mike Nelson: Thick Mcrunfast!
Crow: Buff Drinklots!
Tom Servo: Slunk Slabchest!
Crow: Fist Rockbone!
Mike Nelson: Stomp Beefmob!
Tom Servo: Smash Lampjaw!
Crow: Punch Rockgroin!
Mike Nelson: Buck Plankchest!
Crow: Stump Chokmen!
Tom Servo: Dirk Hardpeck!
Mike Nelson: Rip Steakface!
Tom Servo: Crud Bonemeal!
Mike Nelson: Brick Hardmeat!
Crow: Rip Slabcheek!
Tom Servo: Bob Johnson! No wait...
Mike Nelson: Smoke Man Muscle!
Mike Nelson: Gristle McThornbody!

Krankor: My monster obeys my every command
Crow: Like wander around aimlessly and gain weight.

Dr. Forrester: [his last ever line] Oh poopie.

Crow: Yeah, he can sense danger. A Post-It note could sense danger
  better than this guy.

Crow: You know I have almost no respect for pumas now? I now know
  that if I ever run into a puma I can just push it the hell over.

Crow: Soundtrack by my little brother's Casio.

Crow: [to a peaceful bit of folk music] My anaconda don't want none
  less you got buns hon.

MC: Let's give a big hand for Mr. Don Snyder
Mike Nelson: Don Snyder, that's his stage name. His real name's Dan
  Swanson.

Drunk: You can't buy enough booze to make me go for you.
Mike Nelson: But could you try?

Mike Nelson: [After Tony turns into Puma Man] He gave him the Captain
  Dork costume by mistake.

Joel: [as a green monster attacks a girl] The swamp thing versus the
  sweet thaing.

107079a107930,107938
Julie: Can I ask you a question?
Kirsten: Mmm hmm
Julie: Do you like that he calls you Keekee?
Kirsten: Hate it
Julie: 'Cause he kept calling me Juju, like that candy that gets
  stuck in your teeth. I begged him to stop

Seth: I was like Nemo, Ryan. I found my way HOME.

108050a108910,108911
Keith: It's the end of the financial year and spirits are in the sky.

111770a112632,112634
The Brain: There are days I think I'd be more productive if my
  sidekick were a pliant corndog.

112855a113720,113756
# "Power Rangers DinoThunder" (2004)
Elsa: That gem belongs to my Master.
Dr. Tommy Oliver: There's two things you guys need to learn about
  Dino gems. One, you can't choose them. They choose you.
Elsa: What's the other?
Dr. Tommy Oliver: They go real well with Dino morphers.
[puts Dino gem into Dino morpher]
Elsa: Hmmph! Aren't you a little old for this Tommy?
Dr. Tommy Oliver: I made be old, but I can still pull it off. Dino
  Thunder, power up!
[morphs into the Black Ranger]
Dr. Tommy Oliver: DinoThunder, Black Ranger!

Elsa: We are not intimidated by your teacher.
Conner McKnight: Then you obviously never taken one of his pop
  quizzes.

Dr. Tommy Oliver: I checked my closet this morning, and there's a
  serious shortage of black in there.

Kira Ford: This screams "Jurassic Park" to me.

Conner McKnight: What, you've never heard of The Three Bears?
Ethan James: Is that the last book you've read?

Ethan James: You know, ten years from now when your hairline's
  receding and you're playing pick-up soccer in the park because your
  dreams of turning pro never quite worked out, I'll have my own
  multi-billion dollar software business.

Dr. Tommy Oliver: Great. Yeah, lock the door, Tommy. Real good.

Ethan James: All I'm trying to do is give you guys the heads up.
  Stuff happens out here. Just don't come crying to me when you fall
  down a giant sinkhole.


114381a115283,115297
Sydney: You believe someone stole your mother's body?
Miss Parker: Except for this Scotch-induced earthquake rattling
  between my ears, I'm not sure exactly what to believe anymore.
Broots: Let's face it, Sydney. Catherine Parker's body being gone
  fits in with all the other bizarre happenings around here. The
  reappearance of Edna Raines, who, after 30 years, everyone thought
  was dead...
Miss Parker: And now who really is dead, thanks to the Bald Butcher
  she called hubby.

Miss Parker: I never thought I'd hear you say 'murder is business as
  usual,' Syd.

Jarod: Trust your inner sense, Miss Parker. I do.

114615c115531
[Number 2 is describing the Village]
114703a115620,115637
Observer: You're a wicked man.
Number 6: Wicked?
Observer: You have no values.
Number 6: Different values!
Observer: You won't be helped.
Number 6: Destroyed!
Observer: You want to spoil things.
Number 6: I won't be a goldfish in a bowl!

Observer: This place [The Village] has been going for a long time.
Number 6: Since the war? Before the war? WHICH... WAR?

Maid: [The Prisoner's costume for a fancy dress ball - picked by
  others - is delivered] What is it?
Number 6: My own suit, specially delivered for the occasion.
Maid: What does that mean?
Number 6: That I am still... myself.

116780a117715,117719
# "Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Inferno" (2004)
Coral Smith: [after Julie challenged her to wrestle] I don't wrestle,
  I beat bitches up!


117194a118134,118148
Rimmer: Look, sooner or later, we're gonna have to face the fact that
  we're not all gonna get out of this in one piece. Or if we are,
  it's gonna be one big flat piece.
Lister: And?
Rimmer: It's time we decided who's gonna take the one-man escape pod.
Cat: How?
Rimmer: Well, if you'll just bear with me, I think I've devised a
  fair and equitable system of choosing who should survive. It's
  based on age, rank, seniority, usefulness... to cut a long story
  short it's me. I was as stunned as you are, which is why I demanded
  a recount. But blow me! It didn't come out of me again!
Lister: Rimmer, the escape pod is not an option.
Rimmer: Why not?
Lister: It escaped last Thursday.

118135,118139c119089,119097
Lister: Well, how come Holly knows all the answers to science and
  space and all that when we ask him?
Queeg: He consults a book.
Holly 1: What a slimeball!
Queeg: He gets all his answers on astronomy, phenomenology and
  physics from a single reference book.
Rimmer: What's the book?
Queeg: The Junior Encyclopedia of Space. It's the only one he can
  find which has pictures.
118791a119750,119758
Lister: There must be a way out. There hasn't been a prison built
  that could hold Derek Custer. Why don't we scrape away this mortar
  here, slide one of these bricks out, then using rope weaved from
  strands of this hessian, we can create a pulley system, so that
  when a guard comes in over the tripwire, he gets laid out and we
  put Rimmer in the guard's uniform, he leads us out, we steal some
  swords and fight our way back to the Bug.
Kryten: Or we could use the teleporter.

119527c120494
Sherlock Holmes: Thank you!... thank you...
119545a120513,120515
Dr. Watson: Humbug, Lestrade?
Sherlock Holmes: This is no time for humbugs, Watson!

120692a121663,121669
Heffer: [after finding Rocko in the dumpster, his nail-biting problem
  out of control] All this toe-chewing is making me hungry. Let's go
  get some chili!

Rocko: Heff, everybody's bonkers for me bum!
Heffer: I know. You've got the most famous fanny in O-Town!

121399a122377,122378
Roseanne: Marriage stinks, with a capital SUCK.

123667a124647,124651
# "Saiyûki" (1978)
Monkey: [after finding out that Buddha was female] I always thought
  Buddha was a fella!


124164a125149,125174
Officer Hopkins: The reception in the squad car was terrible. We
  couldn't pick up anything but police calls.

Lamont Sanford: Grady, you're gonna be the first person in history to
  get busted for molesting a vegetable.

Lamont Sanford: The first signs of marijuana use are the hungries, or
  munchies.
Grady Wilson: Weren't they in The Wizard of Oz?
Lamont Sanford: That's Munchkins.

Lamont Sanford: [has discovered Fred cheats on his taxes] Why only
  put $200? Why not $1,000? Or $2,000? $10,000? Why not even a
  million?
Fred Sanford: That's good. Put that down, Calvin.
Lamont Sanford: Pop, if you put that, you go to jail.
Fred Sanford: Take that off, Calvin.

Donna Harris: Where are you going?
Fred Sanford: [drunk] St. Louis. On the banks of the Misississippi.
  M-I-S... I-S-S... M-O-U-S-E.

Calvin: How's your voice?
Fred Sanford: I'm a little hoarse.
Calvin: [points to his horse] So is he. Ha ha ha.

124309a125320,125342
Host: Good evening and welcome to "History, the Real Story". Tonight
  we focus on the real story surrounding the assassination of Abraham
  Lincoln.
Abraham Lincoln: [Lincoln enters Ford's Theatre box, loudly and
  apparently drunk] Hi everybody. [crowd shushes him] Sorry! [loudly
  unwraps and eats a candy bar] Hey, how about my first lady, huh? I
  just hope I'm her first man! [knocks his popcorn and drink off the
  rail into the lower area] Sorry. Just send me the bill; send it to
  my Gettysburg Address!
Union Officer: Please, sir. I understand that the lead actress is the
  toast of London.
Abraham Lincoln: [grabs binoculars] Oh, yeah? WHOA YEAH! Hey, baby
  [whistles] hey, up here!
Theatre patron: [speaking with a southern accent] Would you be quiet,
  sir and let us enjoy the play?
Abraham Lincoln: You gonna make me, cornpone? You and what
  Confederate Army?
Theatre patron: I may, sir! [Lincoln climbs over the rail as the
  scene fades to black]
Host: That then is the real story behind the assassination of Abraham
  Lincoln. Join us next week for 'Hiroshima; Insurance Fraud of the
  Century'.

124713a125747,125785
Tina Fey: In other news, Courtney Love took out a restraining order
  against an alleged stalker this week. Courtney, please, I know we
  can work it out if you'll give me a chance, please [blows a kiss]

Chevy Chase: And now with tonight's commentary; Miss Emily Litella.
Chevy Chase: Thank you, cheddar. What's all this talk about violins
  on tv? I think we need more violins and less of that loud rock
  music. And furthermore...
Chevy Chase: Uh, excuse me; Miss Litella. It's violence on TV, not
  violins.
Emily Litella: Oh. Never mind.

Jarret: If I go out with you, will you let me play with your breasts?
Amy Yablonski: Let you? I'll make you.

Dan Aykroyd: In order to perform the experiment, we need one ounce of
  marijuana. Weekend update correspondent Garrett Morris was sent
  into one of our urban neighborhoods to provide us with one ounce of
  marijuana. This bag contains one ounce, Garrett, it feels light.
  This isn't a full ounce. We gave you money for one ounce, you're
  going to have to go back and get more.
Garrett Morris: Man, don't make me go back there! Those guys will
  kill me!
Dan Aykroyd: We need one full ounce not .97 ounce of marijuana for
  the experiment. [Morris leaves]
Dan Aykroyd: In other news [phone rings]...
Dan Aykroyd: Hello. Thank you. This just in; Garrett Morris is dead.
  The Weekend Update correspondent was found dead in an alley, the
  victim of a senseless killing. Another drug related death, Jane.

Chevy Chase: And now, as a service for our viewers, here is Garrett
  Morris to provide the headlines for the hard of hearing. Today's
  top story; Generallisimo Francisco Franco is still dead
Garrett Morris: [shouting] Today's top story: Generallisimo Francisco
  Franco is still dead.

Lorne Michaels: [on Christina Aguilera's outfit] You're right. Let's
  whore it up.

125163a126236,126243
Chris Turk: Ya know Elliot, eventually you're gonna have to take off
  your sock.
Elliot: If I do then from now on whenever you guys look at me all
  you're going to think is Giant Gross-Foot. It's like that security
  guard with the hook for the hand, all anybody thinks when they look
  at him is Big Giant Afro.
Nurse Carla Espinosa: [gasps] I do think that!

125236a126317,126321
Dr. Kelso: [threateningly, to Nurse Roberts, who is chuckling] What
  is so funny?
Nurse Roberts: Oh just the hooves and pitchfork part. [much more
  threateningly] Why?
Dr. Kelso: [Frightened] Uh, no reason.
125262,125263d126346
125423,125426c126506,126510
Nurse Carla Espinosa: You'd think so.
[Elliot's cell phone rings but she ignores it]
Nurse Carla Espinosa: Aren't you gonna answer that?
Elliot: Nah, that's just Todd. He keeps calling me and asking if I
  want to move into his pants.
125435c126519
Janitor: Scooter!
125438,125439c126522,126524
J.D.: I don't get it.
Janitor: Like Scooter Pies. I *hate* Scooter Pies!
J.D.: Oh... now I get it.
125450,125453c126535,126541
J.D.: I think childbirth has been way too romanticized.
[cut to a 1950s era informational film with JD and the soon-to-be
  parents]
J.D.: You will spend hours and hours of pain while you poop, pee,
  puke and other people stare into your vagina, which, by the way,
  has an 80 percent chance of tearing.
Woman: [to her husband] You do it.
125507,125518c126595,126609
Dr. Kelso: Uhh, Perry, I just spoke to my cardiologist and he said if
  you hadn't discovered my high blood pressure, it may have resulted
  in my case of, um, death.
Dr. Cox: Huh?
Dr. Kelso: Thanks, I owe you one.
Dr. Cox: [voice-over] MUST RESIST URGE TO RUB IT IN HIS FACE... MUST
  RUB SOMETHING IN SOMEONE'S FACE. [turns to an unconscious patient]
  So how's that coma going for ya there? [voiceover] ahhh much
  better!

Dr. Cox: Doc, Kelso asked me to give him a physical, I did it, and he
  thanked me and said he owed me one.
Psychiatrist: You're telling me that you actually made a decision
  that had a positive impact on your life?
Dr. Cox: Well, a resident [JD] kinda talked me into it.
125520,125526c126611,126619
  of another human being? This is a big moment for me.
Dr. Cox: Yuh-huh.
Psychiatrist: Well, by God, Perry, if there is a person in that
  hell-hole of a hospital that can give you advice, keep that person
  around you for as long as possible. Because, that person is a
  genius.
[Cut to JD in an elevator in an elevator, singing and dancing]
J.D.: Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting! [pause] Those kicks were fast
  as lightning!
125541c126634,126635
  pocket - and invited the neighborhood kids to set fire to it and
  beat it with sticks.
125545c126639,126640
J.D.: But you cried!
Janitor: No, that was you. [drags wet mop over JD's face]
125637a126733,126735
Elliot: Dr. Cox!
Dr. Cox: And there you are!
Elliot: Huh?
125749c126847
Janitor (in German voice): Why is your Lake Titicaca not filled with
125766,125768d126863
125770c126865,126866
Turk: Yeah, I know. [quoting JD from earlier] "I miss it so much, it
  hurts sometimes."
125795a126892
Dr. Chris Turk: Helping or hurting, JD? Helping or hurting?
125814,125816c126911,126914
[after allowing Dr. Kelso to slip]
Janitor: I liked the way blond-hair-doctor looked. She brightened my
  day. But you don't care about that, do you? No... because you're
  unconscious.
126048a127147,127189
Elliot: But if the ceremony's in spanish, how will I know when you
  guys are married?
Nurse Carla Espinosa: We all shoot off our guns and throw tortillas
  in the air.
Elliot: Really? Oh, I wish I was was ethnic.

Dr. Moyer: You called me in to the hospital at midnight to do a CAT
  scan that could wait until monday?
J.D.: You see, Dr. Moyer, I...
Dr. Moyer: [throwing a tantrum] These are my machines! My machines!
Nurse Carla Espinosa: But Dr. Moyer, if you could just...
Dr. Moyer: [still screaming] My machines! My Machines!
Chris Turk: Who's machines are they?
Dr. Moyer: They're my machines! My machines!
J.D.: [to Turk] How does that help?

Elliot: I have a huge bunion. Sean's coming back in, like, a few
  weeks what am I supposed to do?
J.D.: Well, I think the obvious answer is to draw Sean's face on it
  and tell him you grew it because you missed him.
Chris Turk: *Or,* it's a simple surgery.
J.D.: Uhhh, Turk, I think we've already decided on bunion-face!
Elliot: Cut me the hell up.
J.D.: Dammit!

Jordan: It's Jack's first birthday, I want it to be special. I got a
  petting zoo for the kids, and we need to figure out something great
  for the adults.
Dr. Cox: How about a russian roulette booth? And here's the kicker,
  we put bullets in all the chambers, that way *everybody* wins!
J.D.: [butting in] will there be a piñata? Because I need to
  know if I should bring my piñata helmet.
Jordan: Up-up-bah! The only reason we invited you is because for
  *some* reason, you have your own Spongebob Squarepants Costume!
J.D.: It was a gift! [voice-over] From me, to me!

Ben: [to JD] Ya know something? *You* have slept with both of my
  sisters. So that means that you and I have something in common.

Ben: Hey, JD, my sister, Danni, is more of a gentle kisser, don't you
  think? But I find that Jordan is a little bit more on the lines of
  teeth and tongue and fangs. [hisses]

126339c127480
  like Dr. Dre..."Eastsiiiide!"
126368a127510,127517
Captain Murphy: There can be only NONE!

Captain Murphy: Oh Alvis! We were gonna have a festival for you, with
  ham and pomp!
Alvis: Believer, you have forgotten the true meaning of Alvis Day.
  Neither is it ham, nor pomp. Nay, the true meaning of Alvis day is
  drinking. Drinking and revenge.

128295a129445,129457
George Costanza: Do women know about shrinkage?
Elaine: What, you mean like laundry?
Jerry: No. Like when you're in a pool... afterwards...
Elaine: It shrinks?
Jerry: Like a frigthened turtle.
Elaine: Why does it shrink?
George Costanza: It just does.
Elaine: I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.

George Costanza: [upset] Now because of that stupid rye bread I gotta
  keep them all separated for the rest of my life!
Jerry: [quietly, sipping coffee] Bad situation...

128301a129464,129476
# "Sensei no o-jikan - Doki doki school hours" (2004)
Akane Kobayashi: He's having fun by himself again.
Minako Tominaga: Don't go near him! You might get infected too.

Akane Kobayashi: Poem, Title: Myself in Spring by Kobayashi. Spring
  is a fun season. However, it is a depressing rhapsody. In terms of
  chocolate... Chocolate is delicious. What I especially like is
  chocolate cake. Speaking of chocolate cake, I recommend the cake
  shop at the Okitsu Shopping Center! It is so soft and sweet and
  right after you put it in your mouth, it feels like a carnival and
  stuff...


129404c130579
  ever known... In less than 6 years, his small, insignificant tribe
129407c130582
  as a mass murderer - a depraved ogre whose thirst for conquest
129415a130591,130593
Shaka: Never leave an enemy behind or it will rise again to fly at
  your throat.

130003a131182,131190
Vic Mackey: Get over it and don't bring it up again.

Vic Mackey: [Listening to the Armenians] Huh... the Armenians...
  speak Armenian.

Vic Mackey: [to the Strike team when at a house looking for Charlie
  Kim] Hey, Option one is we take him alive. But feel free to
  consider option two.

137058a138246,138260
Grampa Simpson: I used to be with it. Then they changed what it was.
  Now, what I'm in isn't it, and what's it is strange and frightening
  to me. And it will happen to you!

Homer: Hey, what's lucky hooked up to?
Nurse: A respirator. It breathes for him.
Homer: And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker.

Homer: Marge, promise me you'll put me in a home. It's like being a
  baby, only you're old enough to apreciate it.

Bart: [slapping Lisa] Don't hit Maggie. She's just a baby.
Homer: [slapping Bart] Don't hit Lisa. She's a girl.
Grampa Simpson: [slapping Homer] Keep your hands off of him Homer!

137983a139186,139193
Cassandra Carver: Because we both know... your not like other people.
Clark: [nervous] Sure I am...
Cassandra Carver: No Clark, I've seen you. Before we ever met. More
  than once, I've touched people and seen such pain and dispair and -
  But then you were there and the pain was gone. I think thats your
  destiny, Clark. To save people from fear and darkness. You can fear
  the future or you can embrace it. The choice is yours.

138519a139730,139742
Dingo: [Dingo and Sleet are looking at the monitor to see what is
  going on at the SwatBot factory and Dingo sees a pod] Those eyes
  they can only belong to... Sonia!
Sleet: [Sleet grabs Dingo] Snap out of it! You sound like a
  lovestruck pup. She's the enemy - you got that?
Dingo: Oh yeah, I knew that!

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: You have failed me again!
Sleet: But Sir I can explain.
Dr. Ivo Robotnik: SILENCE!
Sleet: But Sir.
Dr. Ivo Robotnik: What part of silence don't you understand?

139645a140869,140884
Lorraine Calluzzo: No! Please! I'll suck your cock! All you your
  cocks!
Phil Leotardo: Suck our cocks?
Lorraine Calluzzo: Yeah.
Phil Leotardo: [to her husband] She any good?... What am I askin' you
  for? You probably showed her how.
Angelo Garepe: Well I'm and old fucking man, I don't see so good in
  the dark.

Annette Bening: There is something bugsy about him.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: We're the fuck have you been? You're
  late!
Christopher: Sorry, the highway was jammed with broken heroes on a
  last-chance power drive.

141031a142271,142273
Cartman: Kyle, if you mess this up, so help me God I will rip your
  balls of with my bare hands! WITH MY BARE HANDS, GODDAMN YOU!

141817a143060,143070
Daisy: Colin's gone.
Tim: What?
Daisy: He went next door.
Tim: Oh, Daisy. I'm sorry. How did that happen?
Daisy: He walked.
Tim: Right, right. Sorry. My mum used to use "going next door" as a
  euphemism for being dead.
Mike: Whoa. Does that mean my rabbit's dead?
Tim: It's been 18 years Mike, where did you think he was?
Mike: [sobbing] Next door!

143899a145153,145155
"The Monster!" shouter: He's coming for YOU, Larry. The man with no
  face!

144893a146150,146155
Odo: [Sisko is trying to arrest a former security officer turned
  traitor] Odo: Sir, have you ever reminded Starfleet Command that
  they stationed Eddington here because they didn't trust me?
Sisko: Sisko: No.
Odo: Odo: Please do.

148356a149619,149629
Susan Hawk: Tom is a stupid drunk. He tries to pretend that he's not
  drunk but he's a really stupid drunk.

Jeff Probst: [After Rupert drops his bucket of water over his head]
  Shii-Ann wins immunity! You needed this didn't you?
Shii Ann: Yes! Yes! I did it! YES! In your face. I need this.
Alicia: Shii-Ann don't get too cocky. You have to stay with us for
  the next 3 days.
Jeff Probst: Shii-Ann has immunity and cannot be voted out. The rest
  of you are fair game. See you at Tribal Council tonight.

148359,148363c149632,149644
Jeff Probst: You'll notice that there's one empty seat. Paschal isn't
  here. John, you want to fill them in on what happened?
John: Yes. Paschal was dehydrated and he passed out, so he had to be
  evacuated for medical treatment. He was alert and responsive but he
  was dehydrated.

John: I need somebody who can pee on my hand.

Sean: If you chop Vecepia, I'm calling Johnny Cochran.

Robert "The General": You win Immunity, I catch a pig. I am going to
  tell them, look, she's immune, and I caught a pig. You can't get
  rid of me and not let me have any of my pig. I got pig!
148420a149702,149703
Matthew: This challenge made me feel like God.

148423,148425c149706,149710
Colby: Yeah, I lied to Jerri, but I'm not going to lose any sleep
  over it. If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry
  Christmas.

Colby: He couldn't fish a rubber ducky out of a bathtub.
150473,150474c151758,151760
Kitty Forman: I feel like I'm forgetting something...
[the phone rings]
Kitty Forman: Oh my God, I forgot your mom.
150477c151763
Jackie Burkhardt: Steven, what happened?
150480,150481c151766,151767
Jackie Burkhardt: Oh my god. He called me a bitch and you hit him.
  And that's what happened, isn't it?
150483c151769
Jackie Burkhardt: Liar. I AM the bitch. And you LOVE me.
150508c151794
Steven Hyde: See, this is why your country lost the war.
150510c151796
Steven Hyde: Yeah, big surprise.
150529c151815
Steven Hyde: So what?
150531,150532c151817
Steven Hyde: You know what? I had a chance, and I didn't take it.
150559c151844
Jackie Burkhardt: Oh, my god. You all hate Laurie?
150561,150562c151846,151848
Jackie Burkhardt: I don't believe this. You all hate Laurie, and love
  me.
Steven Hyde: ...We all hate Laurie, all right.
150843c152129
Laurie Forman: I am not cheap!
151492c152778
Jackie Burkhardt: God, Michael, I told you. I don't like space.
151495,151498c152781,152785
Jackie Burkhardt: Well, maybe I wanna do something else tonight.
Kelso: Like what?
[He stares at her until realization sinks in]
Kelso: God, Jackie! We can do that for the rest of our lives! Star
  Wars is a limited engagement!
152033a153321,153322
Red Forman: Let's not talk about it in front of the boy.

152074c153363
[on Annette]
152078c153367
Eric: A blonde Jackie.
152080,152081c153369,153370
[dramatic music]
Eric, Donna Pinciotti: [looking scared] We are doomed.
152667c153956
Kitty Forman: Red hates you.
152669c153958
Kitty Forman: You gave him a heart attack.
152679,152681c153968,153970
Kitty Forman: Steven, if you keep doing that it's going to be really
  hard for me to pretend I don't know what you're talking about.
Steven Hyde: Then I should go because it's just too easy... just like
152694c153983
Laurie Forman: I'm not that trashy. I won't sleep with you.
152703c153992
Steven Hyde: Well, he shot me, so we know he's good with guns.
152724,152726c154013,154016
Steven Hyde: Hey, Donna, you want some pie.
Donna Pinciotti: No, I don't want any stupid pie.
[Donna storms off]
Steven Hyde: Hey, I didn't kiss her.
152729,152730c154019,154022
Kitty Forman: I don't need to kiss some old lady's A-S-S on my
  holiday.
[Laurie, Eric, and Red just look at her]
Kitty Forman: You heard what I spelled.
152749c154041
Steven Hyde: You're engaged. In Latin that means "screwed for life".
152755c154047
Fez: How can you tell?
152760,152761c154052,154053
Kitty Forman: Well, thank God you're not Santa Claus, Red. You scare
  the hell out of children.
152794c154086
Steven Hyde: You gotta be Bruce Springsteeny. Springsteenian.
152797c154089
Steven Hyde: You should suspend me. I need a vacation.
152799,152802c154091,154094
Steven Hyde: Yeah, you gotta stay sharp, man. That's why I keep
  myself pure 'til 3 o' clock... [checks arm] Two o'clock. That's why
  I keep myself pure until two o'clock. [checks arm] I'm not even
  wearing a watch.
152804c154096
Steven Hyde: Well, in health class today, we learned that an early
152807,152808c154099,154100
Steven Hyde: Two girls in a phallic RV driving around handing out
  things you blow? What a great country.
152810,152817c154102,154109
Steven Hyde: Think about it, a world full of Kelsos. Libraries will
  fall into disrepair, there'd be feathered hair as far as the eye
  could see, we'll have to put padding on every sharp corner.

Steven Hyde: There is no gas shortage man. It's all fake. The oil
  companies control everything. Like there is this guy that invented
  this car and it runs on water man. It's got a fiberglass air-cooled
  engine and it runs on water.
152819c154111
Steven Hyde: The three TRUE branches of the government are military,
152822,152823c154114,154115
Ricky from Fatso Burger: So why do you want a job at Fatso Burger?
Steven Hyde: To unionize the workers, man.
152826c154118
Steven Hyde: Prison.
152830c154122
Steven Hyde: Duck season.
152832c154124
Steven Hyde: Duck seaon.
152834c154126
Steven Hyde: Duck season.
152836,152840c154128,154133
[Red complains about the neighbors' dog]
Red: That thing was always messing in my yard and going through my
  trash.
Laurie Forman: Now we have Hyde for that.
Steven Hyde: Oh yeah Laurie, and what exactly do you do? Oh that's
  right, the Packers.
152844c154137
Steven Hyde: [coughs] VIRGIN.
152846c154139
Steven Hyde: No, no, I'm not walking. If god had wanted us to walk he
152849c154142
Steven Hyde: What crawled up your butt?
152852,152853c154145,154147
Steven Hyde: If you really want to get under her skin you have to be
  Zen.
Jackie Burkhardt: Zen? Okay you just can't make up words Hyde.
152855,152856c154149,154150
Steven Hyde: Look man, if those jocks try to do this to you again,
  just come find me.
152859,152863c154153,154157
Steven Hyde: So you wanna be a burn-out? Is that it?
Jackie Burkhardt: No. No, Hyde. I just wanna be with you. I think you
  are one of the coolest and sweetest guys.
Steven Hyde: No you don't.
Jackie Burkhardt: Yes I do.
152865,152866c154159,154160
Steven Hyde: Hey, if there wasn't some huge downside to doing
  something this stupid, it wouldn't be worth doing, ya know?
152868c154162
Steven Hyde: Government pawns and missing limbs. That's amore.
152872,152873c154166,154167
Steven Hyde: You know, Forman, I'm a romantic. So I say you choke him
  'til his eyes pop out!
152877c154171
Steven Hyde: There's no such thing as too much, Fez.
152879c154173
Fez: [singing] Hyde and Jackie sitting in a tree, they're in love
152881c154175
Steven Hyde: That's not even how it goes.
152883c154177
Steven Hyde: Yes.
152886c154180
Fez: [about Donna] If we were in my country I'd string you from the
152888c154182
Steven Hyde: We're not in your country.
152893c154187
Steven Hyde: I'm going to the Vineyard.
152896,152897c154190,154191
Steven Hyde: Face it Forman, you're not a cheater... a wise man once
  said "know thyself" and that man was Tater Nuts!
152901,152911c154195,154207
Jackie Burkhardt: Steven, do you really think we're a creepy,
  unnatural couple?
Steven Hyde: Come on. It's a crazy question. I mean, if this
  relationship wasn't just a little bit creepy and unnatural I
  wouldn't be in it.

Jackie Burkhardt: You know, Steven. This hatred thing you have for
  me, is just you protecting yourself.
Steven Hyde: Okay.
Jackie Burkhardt: It's true. You're afraid to reach the peaks of
  love, for fear of being dropped off a cliff. Well, I'm your safety
  line, Steven. So grab me.
Steven Hyde: Go grab yourself, freak.
152913,152914c154209,154210
Steven Hyde: It's hard hopping over a fence carrying two twelve
  packs. I mean, library books.
152916c154212,154213
Steven Hyde: Isn't it ironic that "titalating" has the word "tit" in
  it?
152918c154215
Steven Hyde: Go ahead and hit me. A free shot.
152920,152921c154217,154218
Steven Hyde: No, man. That's why they call it a free shot.
Kelso: Oh. OK. Get ready. Here it comes. It's coming. Get ready.
152924,152926c154221,154223
Steven Hyde: Think about it. We hold information that could crush the
  very heart and soul of one of our best friends. I live for days
  like this.
152928c154225
Steven Hyde: Donna, man, I feel like I want to kiss you.
152931,152932c154228,154229
Steven Hyde: [to Eric] Oh man, see this is why I didn't wanna tell
  you. I knew you'd get all After School Special on me.
152934,152942c154231,154237
Steven Hyde: Look, Jackie. I know you were worried before so I just
  wanna let you know nothing happened on my end this weekend. I'm not
  telling you that so you'll tell me what you did. I just wanna let
  you know what happened with me. That's my report to you.
Jackie Burkhardt: All right. Good to know.
Steven Hyde: Good to know?
Jackie Burkhardt: Did I stutter?
152944c154239
Steven Hyde: We could go to Chicago and peddle Fez's ass for beer.
152947c154242
Steven Hyde: Man you went to the free clinic?
152953,152954c154248,154249
Steven Hyde: Eighteen sucks, man, no more free rides. I mean, if
  there's a war, I could get drafted.
152957,152958c154252,154253
Steven Hyde: So if Donna ever breaks up with you, and starts dating
  me, are we still friends?
152961,152962c154256,154257
Steven Hyde: [to Kitty] Now stay away from those smokes, if you smoke
  when you're pregnant, they come out all spindly.
152964,152965c154259,154260
Steven Hyde: I have got a solution to this whole you being a pain in
  my ass, we sharing a room thing. You move out.
152967c154262
Steven Hyde: Yeah.
152969c154264
Steven Hyde: Fine. I'll move out, you big baby.
152971c154266
Steven Hyde: I need time to heal.
152973,152974c154268,154269
Steven Hyde: My heart aches with pain. When I see you, I vomit. Die
  away from me.
152976,152977c154271,154272
Steven Hyde: Look guys, we've gotta do something that says we will
  not pay homage to a corrupt electoral system.
152979,152980c154274,154275
Steven Hyde: Look Foreman, I'll be in as much trouble as you are as
  soon as Edna sobers up.
152983c154278
Steven Hyde: Really? My parents split on me.
152986,152987c154281,154282
Steven Hyde: Laurie's got great legs, and a fine rack, but she's a
  major skankoid. And you don't know where a girl like that has been.
152989,152991c154284,154286
Laurie Forman: What about Hyde? Why doesn't HE have to go to church?
Steven Hyde: While I respect the Judeo-Christian ethic, as well as
  the eastern philosophies and of course the teachings of Mohammed, I
152996,152997c154291,154292
Kitty Forman: Good, Donna, come up and eat with us, I need all the
  help I can get. Oh not you Steven, Grandma doesn't like you.
153001c154296
Steven Hyde: Kelso, the school doesn't HAVE a morgue.
153003c154298,154299
Steven Hyde: You know what kills me? You do better in school than I
  do.
153005,153007c154301,154303
Steven Hyde: Kelso, women are like muffins, man. And once you've had
  a muffin, you will put up with ANYTHING to have another one. And
  they know that.
153011c154307
Steven Hyde: For instance, the Man-Van Act of 1847.
153013,153016c154309,154312
Jackie Burkhardt: Oh, I understand. I mean, it's kind of like... it's
  kind of like setting your hair. If you don't wait long enough, it's
  totally flat and blah like Donna's. But if you wait just the right
  amount of time then it's perfect, like mine. Steven, are you even
153018c154314
Steven Hyde: God help me, I am.
153020,153021c154316,154317
Jackie Burkhardt: Hyde, if you want to make out with me, the answers
  probably no.
153023,153025c154319,154321
Jackie Burkhardt: Yeah, I got it... in the Ghetto.
Steven Hyde: Jackie, there's no ghetto here. There's like that one
  house that needs to be painted.
153028,153031c154324,154328
Jackie Burkhardt: Well, all the best quotes are about the things that
  means a lot to you, like for example me. My hair. Or my
  Personality. Or the sparkle I bring to your dull, grey, lives.
Steven Hyde: Or, the feeling of relief we get, when you leave the
  room.
153040c154337
  was Seek? You know, Hyde and Seek!
153043,153044c154340,154341
Jackie Burkhardt: Stop staring at me or I'll kick you.
[Hyde stares, Jackie kicks]
153046,153049c154343,154346
Steven Hyde: [about backward messages on rock records] That's not the
  devil, it's Congress. They passed a law to put secret backward
  messages in our records, man. They wanna kill rock and roll because
  they know it makes us horny, man.
153051c154348
Steven Hyde: [about Laurie] She's not a "goddess", she's more an
153054,153055c154351,154352
Steven Hyde: [on date with Jackie] It's no worse than bowling. But I
  don't hate bowling.
153094,153096c154391,154393
[about Hyde's house]
Kitty Forman: He really shouldn't be here.
Red: It's not so bad. Compared to Korea, this is Shangri-La wrapped
153106,153108c154403,154405
Steven Hyde: Let's face it Forman. You're soft.
Donna Pinciotti: How soft is he, Hyde?
Steven Hyde: Softer than Liberace at the Playboy mansion.
153186,153187c154483,154484
Steven Hyde: Poor Forman, man. Working for Red. I wouldn't wish that
  on my enemies.
153203,153204c154500,154501
Kitty Forman: Well, you know, this, this doesn't sound like a nice
  movie. Now, "The Way We Were", that's a nice movie!
153207c154504
Kitty Forman: Oh! And to think how close we came to losing the house!
153209c154506
Kitty Forman: Oh, Eric, honey, I lied!
153222c154519
Jackie Burkhardt: Wait, wasn't he the kid with scoliosis and asthma?
153231c154528
Kitty Forman: Eric, David's here!
153243c154540
[after Kelso suggests hitting a guy that's hitting on Donna]
153247,153248c154544,154545
Steven Hyde: Kelso, man, what are you, an idiot? Leia likes Luke, I
  mean she kissed him on that bridge!
153291c154588
Steven Hyde: So, what's the meaning of life?
153653a154951,154975
[his eulogy]
Carlos: Alex Taylor was, um... She was, um... She was a pain in the
  ass! I've never met anyone as stubborn as her. I mean, you couldn't
  tell her anything. Just this morning Doc told me that him and
  Lieutenant Johnson told her to get off that car like ten times. Ten
  times and she wouldn't do it. I remember hear... but I remember
  hearing her answer when they told her to get off. She said that the
  woman that she was with was afraid. Not that she was hurt badly or
  dying, but just afraid. Can you imagine risking your life so that
  another person isn't scared? I don't think I'll ever be capable of
  that kind of sacrifice, but... I'm gonna spend whatever time I have
  left trying to live up to that. Mrs. Taylor, I was with your
  daughter at the end, I held her hand. There was only one thing on
  her mind... you. She wanted me to tell you that it didn't hurt.
  That's all she wanted was for you to know. Her last thoughts were
  not of herself. She wanted to go out on her own terms. She wanted
  to leave a message and no one was going to stop her from doing
  that. Like I said, she was the most stubborn person I've ever met.

Cruz: I know everything.
Hart: No. You only think you do.

[to Kim]
Grace Foster: You ever pull that stick out of your ass?

153994a155317,155335
[about Taylor's funeral]
Carlos: You're supposed to speak.
Doc: Oh, oh, I'm supposed to speak! Well, well what am I gonna say,
  Carlos? Huh? What am I gonna say, that - - that Taylor died because
  she was stupid? Yeah, that's it. That's it! She was too stupid to
  get down off a burning car after she was told ten times.
Carlos: Doc, I...
Doc: You know what? She... She didn't want to have anything to do
  with being a medic. She thought she was so much better than that
  because she was a firefighter. A real hero! Not one of us taxi
  drivers for the dying and the dead. She died doing what she hated!
  Pissing all over my chosen profession, and yours! How'd that make
  you feel Carlos? Because I hated it! It pissed me off! - - That's
  my eulogy... That's what I got! How you like it so far?

[finding E in the bike]
Bosco: Oh, Steven.
Yokas: You got a receipt for that, Steven?

154121a155463,155493
Sully: Yesterday my car goes up in a ball of flames, today I gotta
  play nursemaid to Judge Perfect!
Davis: Maybe we should get you a nurse's outfit. Little hat...
Sully: Whole thing sucks.
Davis: Are you familiar with the theory that you attract what you
  send out? Negative energy comes right back at you?
Sully: Listen, Kojak, you're gonna go all happy-crappy New Age on me,
  you can get out and walk your ass to the detail.
Davis: Yeah, you know what? That's much more positive.

Bosco: Anonymous caller, what the hell is that?
Monroe: Why are we always driving in the wrong direction when we get
  a job?
Bosco: If it bothers you enough to call, at least have the balls to
  say it was you.
Monroe: You know, maybe we should just start driving in reverse. At
  least we'd be facing the right direction.

Bosco: You do fine.
Cruz: Really?
Bosco: Yeah.
Cruz: You think so?
Bosco: You don't seem to have a problem telling me what to do.
Cruz: Stop the car.
Bosco: See what I mean?

Bosco: Where did you come from? I mean, where did my father find you?
Lester Martin: We have mutual acquaintances.
Bosco: Oh, that's great, 'cause I was getting a little worried there
  about your credentials.

154280a155653,155655
[to Monroe - imitating the old lady]
Bosco: You're sitting on Liberty! You're sitting on Liberty!

155409a156785,156793
[bleeding from the head]
Sully: Am I still pretty?

Grace Foster: I am gonna jump out of my skin.
Kim: Oh, I'm sorry, Grace. You want me to run someone over so you can
  go out and patch them up?
Grace Foster: Well, you'd have to hit them pretty good for it to be
  interesting.

155436a156821,156830
[to Jimmy]
Ruth Johnson: The people honked their stupid horns and waved for one
  week two years ago and then went back to ignoring all of you! The
  city's heroes. But you're not heroes. None of you! You're husbands
  and wives and sons and daughters! And, God help me, I don't
  understand why! Why you would want to do a job that leaves a wife
  to explain to her children why that monster in there is all that's
  left of their father! Can you do that? Any of you? 'Cause if you
  can't then just - - just leave me the hell alone!

155594a156989,157531
[about Cruz]
Sully: Man, I knew she was a bitch but I didn't think she'd do
  anything like that.
Bosco: I was sleeping with her and I was fooled. How's that for
  stupid?

Sully: You know this thing with Faith, all that stuff her old man
  said? Nothing's ever one person's fault.
Bosco: You haven't spent enough time around me.

[to the FBI agents]
Sully: Wow, look at the size of those ID badges. Those come with
  Cracker Jacks?

[about Taylor]
Davis: I don't deserve to feel bad about her dying. She was a way
  better person than I think I'll ever be.

Bosco: It's Monroe, right?
Monroe: Yeah. How you doing?
Bosco: Mind your own business, Monroe.
Monroe: Ooh. It's not often that you meet someone who completely
  lives up to the horrible things people say about 'em.

Davis: Is it true? You ratted out Cruz to Swersky? Said she was
  dirty?
Bosco: She is dirty.
Sully: And yet she goes to church twice a week. There's a lesson in
  there somewhere.

[Bosco's sitting by the water]
Sully: You want us to throw you in, is that it?

[to Cruz]
Bosco: You remember saying the reason I'd never be a great cop? Is
  'cause I - - I don't follow through. I half ass the paper work.
  Well guess what? My partner never does. Never! That's why together,
  me and Yokas are one great cop.

Lt. Swersky: You missed roll call.
Cruz: Yeah, I had trouble finding my costume.

Lt. Swersky: Here's a summons packet. I think 25 a week will do.
Cruz: I'm a sergeant.
Lt. Swersky: Then you should know how to fill them out.
Cruz: If I was a guy I would've been promoted off the work I did. I
  got more collars than anyone in this whole department.
Lt. Swersky: Good point. Someone like you could probably get me 50.

[in a car chase]
Davis: You're running out of places to go.
Sully: You're damn right he is.
Davis: Nice... I take back everything I said.

[to Bosco]
Emily Yokas: You're not coming up, are you? My father would like,
  have a baby.

[about Cruz]
Monroe: She's back in the bag, huh?
Bosco: Oh, my God. This has turned into one of the best days of my
  life.
Monroe: You definitely don't get out enough.

Monroe: You know, why don't you let some of what Davis has rub off on
  you?
Bosco: You know what? Davis can keep his sunshine all to himself.
  Don't be late.
Monroe: I'm on my J.O.
Bosco: Your who?
Monroe: Add a B to the end.
Bosco: Or you could just say job.

Bosco: Maybe next time he'll kill you. It's a shorter report.

Sully: I bet I could read you a question from this book and you'll be
  able to answer it correctly. You ready?
Davis: I don't think I've ever seen you read anything that didn't
  have cartoons in it.

Bosco: Don't trip on your bling-bling, yo yo.

Davis: Guy gives rap a bad name.
Bosco: No, rap gives rap a bad name.
Monroe: Watch your mouth.
Davis: I guess if anybody'd know that it would be Maurice Boscorelli.

Monroe: One minute you're an ass, the next you're who the hell knows
  what.
Bosco: Uh, uh. Judging - - No judging.

Woman: Officer! Officer!
Cruz: No habla Ingles.
[woman starts speaking spanish]
Woman: You gotta help me.
Cruz: Somebody better be dead!

[to Cruz about the stakeout]
Monroe: So basically I'm working the camera in a porno flick?

Kim: 'Hold this crystal'? A guy is bleeding out of his leg, how's
  holding a crystal gonna help him?
Holly Levine: When he was holding the crystal he wasn't thinking
  about his leg.

Carlos: This came for you.
Kim: It's official.
Carlos: Right. That's probably why the word "official" is stamped all
  over it in big, red letters.
Kim: Play nice.

Bosco: Put me on first. I'll piss this defense attorney off so much
  he'll have me on for an hour.
ADA Dianne Mann: It's always something with you, isn't it?
Bosco: Look, this time I'll be your knight in shining armor.
ADA Dianne Mann: Oh, yeah, that's got me oozing confidence.

Davis: 5-5 Charlie. What's the ETA of that backup and ESU?
Dispatcher: Stand by, Charlie.
Davis: Stan - - You want me to tell the bad guys to stand by?

[shoots Frank in the hand causing him to drop the detonator]
Davis: I'm serious man. That was the most amazing shot I've ever seen
  in my life.
Sully: Yeah, except I was aiming at his head.

Cruz: Mind your own damn business.
Bosco: Uh-oh. Who you working with now? The CIA? Department of
  Homeland Security? ASPCA?

Bosco: Doc, man, you gotta tell your people to secure these busses,
  or at least get a head count. This one's turning out to have more
  passengers than the Titanic.

[to Carlos]
Bosco: What's wrong? Principal write you up?

Man: I got ejected from the bus.
Bosco: Nice try. Why don't you use some of those big words and get
  yourself a job?
Man: I got a head injury.
Bosco: Yeah, it's called Lice.

Lt. Swersky: This is the bomb guy?
Davis: Yeah. He looks a little different when he isn't running away.
Frankie: Hey, man, this guy was gonna kill me.
Davis: What are you talking about 'was'? Whole lot of time left in
  the day

Frankie: You guys said you were gonna help me!
Davis: You tried to kill a judge, twice. There's really not much we
  can do for you, sweet pea.

Bosco: Looks like you guys are gonna have to take it from here. Just
  my luck, I got a flat.
Cruz: Take what?
Bosco: I have a prisoner transport.
Monroe: You don't have a flat.
[Bosco sticks a knife into the tire]
Bosco: Oh. It's a slow leak.

Cruz: That was um, that was nice, you calling and all.
Bosco: Yeah. Next time, before I push the knife in, remind me who's
  gonna have to change that damn tire.

Davis: Looks like Cruz is back in the game.
Bosco: And I'm being passed over for a rookie.
Sully: Maybe it's your winning personality.

Doc: Hey guys.
Kim: Hey. Here to scare away the new guy?
Doc: I am the new guy.

Bosco: Hey, you got the name on 1G?
Mailman: I can't do that.
Bosco: Come on, let me see the mail for that address.
Mailman: I know that's not allowed. What'd this guy do?
Bosco: He killed a mailman.

Kim: You purposely ran over someone today!
Doc: He was shooting at Sully and Davis!
Kim: So, what are you a cop now?

Monroe: Back in business, huh Zeek?
Zeek: Yo, Sasha. No, no. That's my Grandma.
[takes the phone from Zeke]
Monroe: Hey, how you doin' Grandma-dawg? You still working them two
  jobs with that bad hip 'cause your good-for-nothing grandson can't
  get an honest job instead of stuffing phones so people can't get
  their change? Hello? Hello? Oh, man, we mighta killed Grandma-dawg.

Bosco: Just because my family left the boot doesn't mean I got olive
  oil in my veins.

Monroe: You really don't have any connection to your heritage?
Bosco: Sure I do... I love pizza. I like spaghetti. I like
  'Goodfellas' and two out of the three 'Godfathers'. Past that, I'm
  about as as Italian as you are.

[about Kylie]
Carlos: How could one kid be so unlucky? To be born to a one sibling
  psycho and a foster care reject who has no family?

Carlos: I was four. This old lady could have lived in a giant shoe
  and it wouldn't look familiar.

[looking at Carlos's baby pictures]
Doc: Oh, those ears.
Lucinda Harding: The boys teased him something terrible. They called
  him Cups because they stuck out like that.
Carlos: Cups?
Lucinda Harding: Now that was a brooding child if I ever saw one.
  Sweet enough, but not so affectionate. Always off on his own. Sort
  of self-involved.
Doc: You've come a long way, Cups.

Bosco: You know what you should get the kid? Cops and Robbers set.
  Plastic handcuffs, chrome revolver...
Monroe: Guns?
Bosco: Yeah, that's what I always got.
Monroe: And look how well-adjusted you turned out.

Bosco: A child molester with his own Santa Claus suit. If that
  doesn't say Christmas, what does?

Monroe: Bosco, you don't understand the pressure of having to have
  the right toy, the right clothes...
Bosco: Oh, come on. I've watched Yokas go through this every year for
  the past ten years. I thought Talking Elmo was gonna kill her.

Carlos: Man, it's gotta suck to spend Christmas in the hospital, huh?
Doc: Better than the morgue.
Carlos: Wow. You've developed this knack for stating the obvious.

Sully: You know what would make me happy? Knowing that little girl's
  in a warm bed tonight before it starts snowing. We make that
  happen, I'll sing a carol.
Davis: You know a carol?

Monroe: You know... You really are a big softy.
Bosco: Keep that to yourself Officer.
Monroe: Like anyone would believe it.

Bosco: Do you just sit up nights thinking about ways to mess with me?
Monroe: No, it's much easier than that.

Tommy Shepherd: So, uh, what kind of gun do you carry?
Bosco: Loaded.

Cruz: What's going on here?
Bosco: We got a guy with a cut. There's definitely dope involved.
Cruz: He's high?
Bosco: No. He's a dope.

Sully: Either nobody's home or they just don't like me.
Davis: Who wouldn't like you, with your sunny old disposition?

[to Doc]
Kim: What did we learn the first day of paramedic training? 'Cops are
  all jerks'.
Davis: You guys all right?
Kim: Yeah.
Davis: You sure? You're good?
Kim: Yeah.
Sully: You know what they taught us the first day of cop school?
  'Take a look around before you insult somebody'.

Dispatcher: Complainant still does not wish to be contacted.
Cruz: Oh, well then beautiful! Then why don't we just leave, huh? Why
  don't we just let you figure this out all by yourselves, huh? I
  mean, it bothers you enough to call, at least have the balls to say
  that it was you!
[Monroe laughs]
Cruz: What?
Monroe: Bosco said the exact same thing.

Cruz: I'm gonna go talk to this Tommy kid myself. Maybe Bosco just
  doesn't have the right touch.
[to Sully and Davis]
Monroe: Like she'll have a softer approach.

Davis: Hey, Carlos, you wouldn't happen to have like, big
  bolt-cutters on the rig?
Carlos: Sorry.
Monroe: Got a flashlight?
Carlos: Nope.
Sully: Band-Aids - - Adhesive tape?

Kim: When did you become an old movie buff?
Jimmy: I have a lot of downtime.
Kim: Meaning?
Jimmy: I don't date. I rarely hang out with the guys. I just go to
  work and take care of Joey. Who know you could be happy doing that?
Kim: Wow! You're almost a grown-up.
Jimmy: Almost.

Davis: What's with the new unis? What, you rethinking retirement?
Sully: It's not how you begin the race, it's how you finish it. And I
  intend to finish this one with pride and honor. If I fail in those
  two areas at least I'll be looking good.

Jimmy: Don't you know that Cosmo says that you should do everything
  that you can to make your man feel important to you?
Kim: You read Cosmo now?
Jimmy: No. But it does sound like something they'd write, doesn't it?

[about Sully]
Old Lady: Isn't he kind of out of shape to be a cop?
Lt. Swersky: That's uncalled for, lady.
Davis: I've been telling him that for years, ma'am.

Doc: He's dead. That's one miracle I can't work yet.

[about Doc]
Kim: He seems incredibly happy.
Carlos: Why wouldn't he be? He was right again.

Monroe: What ever happened to 'any real partner would have my back in
  this Monroe'?
Bosco: Still applies.
Monroe: Oh, so I should have your back but keep my mouth shut?
Bosco: Yep. Something like that.
Monroe: You got the wrong girl Bosco.
Bosco: Well, I didn't pick you, did I?

Davis: Families are rough.
Carlos: They should come with warning labels.
Davis: If they did who'd ever have one?

[about Nardo]
Monroe: We going after him?
Bosco: Want to? You wanna do it?
Monroe: Well, I'm thinking...
Bosco: What?
Monroe: I can't even believe I'm thinking it.
Bosco: I'm in.

[about the Monroe/Doc relationship]
Bosco: Isn't he a little old for you?
Sully: He's not that old.
Davis: Come on, he's closer to a discount bus pass than he is to her
  age.
Sully: He is not.
Bosco: You seem a little defensive yourself there, Sully.

Lt. Swersky: Another satisfied customer. I'm really good at this.

Carlos: Do you understand what you've done?
Doc: Yeah, yeah. I'm keeping them from closing the house, just like I
  told you I would.
Carlos: You shot a man!
Doc: Yeah, I had to.
Carlos: Had to? That's - - You might need real help!

Doc: It's gotta be eight more minutes, and I thought you'd
  understand.
Carlos: Here's what I do understand - - I'm not letting this man die
  on the floor of my firehouse.
Doc: Hey, you better sit back down Carlos.
Carlos: If he dies, you're a murderer!
Doc: Sit down!
Carlos: You wanna shoot me? Shoot me.

Doc: I was good too, Sully.
Sully: Best ever.
Doc: I'm gonna miss it.

Cruz: The jewelry store Bosco. The Hassids?
Bosco: I had a confidential informant.
Cruz: Oh really? Who's that?
Bosco: That would be the confidential part.

[about the E]
Bosco: That's about $15,000 street value.
Yokas: That's no misdermeanor.

[about Mikey]
Bosco: I gotta find him... Before the department does. Before Cruz
  does.
Yokas: I know. Can I do anything to help?
Bosco: You don't have to be involved.
Yokas: Yeah, I know that too.

Dr. Breene: I know you have to get to work, but I just wanted to talk
  to you, together, for a few minutes first.
Carlos: This another voluntary session that I have to attend?

Carlos: [to Dr. Breen] Listen? I had a cop in my bus last night. He
  died. While I was talking to him, he just died, and I don't know
  why. Medically, I just don't understand it. I need Monte Parker
  here so I can ask him to explain it to me. Because he'd probably
  know. That's what he was to me. He's the only person I talk to.

[to Mikey]
Bosco: Following the rules is the hard way. Stealing, scams, dope
  dealing... That's easy.

Michael Boscorelli: I didn't shoot that cop.
Bosco: I believe you, Mike.
Michael Boscorelli: I didn't shoot that cop.
Bosco: You're still gonna have to get arrested. I'll get you a lawyer
  and I'll be there with you. I'll be your brother if you let me be
  your brother. You gotta let me.
Michael Boscorelli: All right.

Carlos: Have they invited us back in yet?
Holly Levine: Yeah. A week ago.
Carlos: What? No one told me!
Walsh: It was so much funnier watching you freeze your ass off.
Carlos: Oh, nice! Nothing I like more than a good joke at my expense.

Hart: I'm a little slow in the mornings.
DK: It's ten to three.

Yokas: [to Sully/Davis] I think it's great. Knowing what you want and
  going for it.
Bosco: I could go for a cheeseburger right about now.

[about Hart]
Walsh: Yo, PD! You wanna stop distracting my guy?
Bosco: What, distract one of New York's Bravest? Is that even
  possible?

[about to get punched by a cop]
Carlos: Not the face!

[to Cruz]
Lt. Swersky: Shut-up! All you do is talk! Now I want you to listen!
[to herself]
Yokas: I love that man.

[about Mikey's deal]
Cruz: You don't tell me what's what, Boscorelli.
Bosco: Make alternate arrangements. He's not doing it.
Cruz: Yeah, we'll see about that.
Bosco: He's not doing it!
Cruz: What the hell you gonna do about it?
Bosco: Leave him the hell alone, you hear me?
Cruz: I don't think so.
Bosco: You don't think so? I don't know how many times I can tell you
  this. Listen to me. And listen real close... If you hurt my brother
  I'm gonna kill you. And that's a promise.

Michael Boscorelli: Look man, when I get out of here I wanna hang out
  together... just uh, me and you, maybe um, maybe we'll take a road
  trip. We'll go to Atlantic City.
Bosco: Atlantic City?...
Michael Boscorelli: ...You're gonna have to pay though, 'cause I
  don't have any money.
Bosco: No kidding?

[at a rave]
Yokas: What do you think these kids ears are gonna be like when they
  grow up?
Bosco: You sound like a mom.
Yokas: I am a mom.

Sergeant Laura Wynn: I'm starting to like your brother.
Bosco: He grows on you.

Sergeant Laura Wynn: Locking up Joey Mann for a capital crime has got
  to bring his old man out of hiding.
Bosco: You're gonna take care of Mike, right?
Sergeant Laura Wynn: Yep. I might just marry him.

[about Lester]
Bosco: You know, I figured this guy for a real ass.
Yokas: Why, 'cause he's a defense attorney?
Bosco: No, because he knows my father.

Monroe: I'm just not quite ready for anything serious right now.
Davis: Well, French Toast isn't really that serious. If I was making
  you like, Eggs Benedict or something like that, then we need to
  talk.

Bosco: Sullivan, he's got some set on him.
Yokas: Look, you'd be saying the same thing if it wasn't your
  brother.
Bosco: It is my brother.
Yokas: Look, Bosco, I'm not about to get into some stupid
  back-and-forth with you right now.
Bosco: Who pissed in your oatmeal?

Sully: This is the doer in the diner homicides. If he doesn't
  confess, tell him I'm coming back.

[Lloyd runs into the RMP]
Sully: Wow! Nice form, but he didn't stick the landing.
Davis: Purse doesn't match the shoes.

Jelly: You notice how I didn't ask you guys if you touched anything,
  seeing as how you're a couple of wily veterans.
Davis: But you're asking us now?
Sully: He's got us, Davis. Go ahead and give him back the leg.

Carlos: Look. I respect how much you loved your old detail. But we
  aren't any country club.
Grace Foster: Yeah. Okay.
Carlos: Don't walk away from me! Come here. You know what? None of us
  were born the day that you got here. You don't know anything about
  us. You have no idea how many calls we take, how many lives we've
  saved and lost, how many bullets we've dodged. No matter how minor
  you manage to make it all sound! I don't care whether you came from
  Bed-Stuy or Baghdad. You're not gonna minimize my experience here
  just because it's not yours. So you either learn to respect us the
  way that we respect you, or just keep your mouth shut until you've
  clawed your way back to that warzone where you'd rather be! You got
  that?
[to Kim]
Grace Foster: Guy's got stones.

Cruz: I honestly don't think that those guys suspected him.
Bosco: Really? Honestly? And how the hell would you know?
Cruz: I don't know.
Bosco: No, you don't! But you should... You're no better than a
  criminal yourself. [Cruz starts crying] You don't get to cry. You
  don't get to cry!

[to Grace]
Holly Levine: Watching Carlos scream at other drivers all night can
  really help your résumé.
Carlos: They're idiots!

Rose Boscorelli: Your precinct sent a very beautiful arrangement.
Bosco: Yeah, they're nice.
Rose Boscorelli: Michael would've loved them.
Bosco: Flowers from the police... He would've got a kick out of that.

Carlos: I'm about to get it and there you are with some stupid
  comment.
Holly Levine: You know what? You're right. That's what keeps Grace
  from jumping all over you.
Carlos: So stop it, all right?
Holly Levine: No way is it that stupid haircut or the disgusting way
  you lick your lips when you're talking to her. Or the way you never
  look higher than her chest or lower than her ass, or just your
  general creepiness you get whenever you're around any woman. That
  slimy look you get in your eyes like we're all just hunks of meat
  in a deli display case and you haven't eaten in years. That is all
  very attractive. In fact, I'm sure that you're the man Grace
  Foster's been looking for all her life.
Carlos: I don't have a stupid haircut.

156961a158899,158903
# "Tom and Jerry" (1965)
Various Characters: [in a drab tone] Gee, I'm throwing away a million
  dollars... [In an excited tone] but I'm happy.


158223a160166,160169
Jack Harper: You know, Daivs is a nice guy, but why do I get the
  feeling that we're gonna come in here one morning and all the
  corpses are gonna be dressed up for an imaginary tea party?

160230a162177,162199
Geraldine: What's worse than not selling any tickets?
Owen Newitt: Well selling one ticket. But selling it to a serial
  killer.
Jim: No, no, no, no, that's right. Who comes on stage, and slits all
  our throats, and leaves us all lying in a gigantic pool of blood!

David Horton: Do we have an actual performance, or is the climax of
  the evening still "Owen and his Amazing Farting Duck?"

Frank Pickle: Very good sermon, Vicar!
Jim: No, no, no, no, yes! I like the way you move from the
  superficial and facile messages of popular culture to the subtle
  and more complex revelations of the nativity.

Letitia Cropley: Care to try one, Mr. Chairman?
David Horton: No thank you. I'd sooner eat my own scrotum, Mrs.
  Cropley.

Owen Newitt: I believe this is your filling.
Geraldine: Oh... Thank you, Owen...
Owen Newitt: I'd have brought it sooner, but I've only just passed
  it.

160371a162341,162349
Venus Flytrap: [Fever runs into the booth and hides behind the coat
  rack] What are you doin', man! I'm on the air!
Dr. Johnny Fever: Herb Tarlek is selling life insurance!
Venus Flytrap: Oh, no! Close the blinds before he sees us!
Andy Travis: [Walks into the booth] What have I told you guys about
  goofing off when one of you is supposed to be on the air?
Dr. Johnny Fever: Herb Tarlek is selling life insurance!
Andy Travis: Oh, no! [slams the door and hides with Fever]

160908a162887,162890
Lor McQuarrie: Have you seen the World's Funniest Medical Blunders?
Carver: Once. This guy swallowed his dentures and when the doctors
  gave him an x-ray, his lungs were smiling back at him.

163380c165362
[during a Science Fiction scene)
163382c165364
Ryan Stiles: It's just a cop.
163389,163390c165371,165372
Brad Sherwood: What about all the people you'll disappoint?
Colin Mochrie: Screw them.
163483a165466,165486
Drew Carey: Two thousand points to Kathy Griffin for kissing Ryan.
Greenwood, Kathryn: Yeah!
Colin Mochrie: I never get two thousand points for kissing him.
Drew Carey: That's 'cause you like to kiss him.
Ryan Stiles: It's got to be on the show!
[Colin nods knowingly]

Chip Esten: [Hoedown - Men] Men can be quite mean / Men can be quite
  bad / I'll bet you had a boyfriend / I'll bet he was a cad / I
  don't really like men myself / That I can tell / But my friend
  Ryan? / Well he thinks their swell

Drew Carey: [playing "scenes from a hat"] Things heard on Hell's P.A.
  system.
Stiles, Ryan: Attention, will the owner of a Ford Pinto, license
  plate number...

Drew Carey: Now let's go on to a game called "African Chant". As we
  know, Africa's a big country... [Greg starts laughing]
Greg Proops: Or a *continent*, if you're a geographer.

165411a167415,167432
Kevin Bacon: Man if I had a dollar for every jock strap my stocker
  stole from me...
Jack: You'd have $187!... [Kevin Bacon looks at him strangely]...
  [nervously] It's just an expression.

Bobbi Adler: Grace, honey. I want to do something nice for Will and
  Jack. Do the "boys" still like Judy Garland? [strikes a Judy
  Garland pose]

Karen: [helping Jack practice for the Gay Spelling Bee] The word
  is... doily.
Jack: Doily.
Karen: Doily.
Jack: Doily... could you use it in a sentence?
Karen: The man walked *doily* down the street.
Jack: Oh, doily! D-O-I-L-Y!
Karen: Right!

167976c169997
Jaye: If you wanna slap him, I'll totally look the other way.
167979c170000
  expectation-free zone for yourself.
169341a171363,171378
Quicksilver: [Lance walks in from outside] Finally! Are you done
  fixing that transmission of yours yet? I've got dates tonight!
Avalanche: Yeah, I'm done all right.
Quicksilver: Good. You know, if you're going to be on *my* team,
  you're going to have to make yourself a little more... presentable.
  By the way, while you're up, would you mind moving the chair? It's
  blocking my view of the tube.
Avalanche: Sure. Glad to! [uses his powers to throw the chair out the
  window]
Quicksilver: Aw, now look what you...
Avalanche: [grabbing Pietro] All right, that's it! I've had it with
  taking orders from you!
Toad (Todd Tolensky): [comes in tangled up in a TV antenna] And *I'm*
  tired of being your TV antenna!
Blob: And *I'm* tired of doing all your cooking! [sadly] You didn't
  even notice the radish roses. I'm through!
169346,169350c171383,171384
  decisive, fearless... [looks out the window and screams] Wanda!
  [dives into the closet] Don't tell her I'm here!
170266a172301,172311
Martin: Dad?
Senator Lance Prevert: What?
Martin: Would you write a note to my teacher explaining that our TV
  set is busted?
Senator Lance Prevert: What? Our TV set isn't busted. Now, shut up
  Martin. I'm trying to watch the fight here.
Martin: Dad, if our TV set isn't busted then I have to write a
  homework assignment about the opera that just started on PBS.
Senator Lance Prevert: [takes out a note pad] What's your teacher's
  name?

170394,170401c172439,172442
Right Bleeding Bastard: Bastard's the name. But you can call me Right
  Bleeding, all my friends do- or well, *did*.
Mike: Why, what happened?
Right Bleeding Bastard: I killed him.
170609a172651,172652
Neil: [Neil is a policeman] Open up, it's the pigs!

170767a172811,172815
Yugi Moto: It's time to duel!

Yugi Moto: [talking to the Magician of Black Chaos] Attack, Magician,
  with Chaos Scepter Blast!

170962c173010
# 'Night, Mother (1986)
172401a174450,174452
Richard: Who's your daddy?
Jenna: ...Wayne Rink?

172412,172413c174463,174464
Skeld the Superstitious: Blow-hards the both of you. She probably was
  some smoke-colored camp girl. Looked like that one's mother.
172434,172436d174484
172453,172457c174501,174510
Buliwyf: 'Lo, there do I see my father. 'Lo, there do I see...
Herger the Joyous: My mother, and my sisters, and my brothers.
Buliwyf: 'Lo, there do I see...
Herger the Joyous: The line of my people...
Edgtho the Silent: Back to the beginning.
Weath the Musician: 'Lo, they do call to me.
Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: They bid me take my place among them.
Buliwyf: Iin the halls of Valhalla...
Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: Where the brave...
Herger the Joyous: May live...
172481,172482d174533
172505c174556
  story of his deeds, that they may be remembered.
172509c174560,174586
Herger the Joyous: It's all right, little brother... there are more!

Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: [looking at piles and piles of skulls in the
  Wendol's cave] I was wrong. These are not men.

[Olga inspects Ibn's wound]
Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: Ow!
Olga: That's a woman's sound.
Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: Do that again and you'll make it.

[after the battle is over, Ahmed sleeps with Olga]
Herger the Joyous: She finish you or bring you back to life?
Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: A gentleman doesn't discuss such things.

Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: [as Olga is cleaning his wound] Ow!
Olga: You complain much.
Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: [quietly] Ow.
[she applies a swab of ammonia]
Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: What is that?
Olga: Cow urine.
Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: Cow urine?
Olga: Boiled down.
Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: No, no. Don't put that filth on me. Water, clean
  water.
Olga: As you wish. Tomorrow the pus will run, and you'll have a
  fever.
[he lets her put it on]
172511,172512c174588,174606
[Herger kills one of the Prince's henchmen in a sham duel]
Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: You, you could have killed him at will.
Herger the Joyous: Yes?
Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: Well, why the deception?
Herger the Joyous: Deception is the point! Any fool can calculate
  strength. That one has been doing it since we arrived. Now he has
  to calculate what he can't see.
Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: And fear... what he doesn't know.

[Herger prepares for his duel with Angus]
Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: What happened?
Herger the Joyous: An engineering dispute.
Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: You notice he's bigger than you?
Herger the Joyous: Yes.
Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: And younger.
Herger the Joyous: Yes.
[He bangs his shield and moves into the ring]
Herger the Joyous: Bet on him, if you like.
Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: I may!
173859a175954,175955
Marianne Jordan: Life has to go on Jack. With or without God.

174181c176277
Selena: Planning is pointless. Staying alive is as good as it gets.
175832a177929,177937
Himself - Co-presenter: Best Picture: Welcome to the 75th Annual
  Academy Award Ceremony. Oh, I wish I could be 75 years old again.

Himself - Co-presenter: Best Picture: Dad. You are supposed to say
  "And the Oscar goes to..."
[Kirk get angry, turns to his son Michael and says his line while
  looking at him]
Himself - Co-presenter: Best Picture: "And the winner is..."

176299a178405,178409
# 9 Souls (2003)
Torakichi: We live in the asshole of the universe. Which makes us
  constipated shit and the guards diuretics.


182036c184146
James Bowie: Surrender at discretion, Buck.
182042,182043c184152,184155
William Travis: One crowded hour of glorious life is worth an age
  without a name.

David Crockett: We're gonna need a lot more men.
182150a184263,184267
# Alexander (2004)
[from trailer]
Alexander: Conquer your fear, and I promise you'll conquer death.


182842a184960,184966
# Alice in Wonderland (1985) (TV)
Cheshire Cat: [in song] Somehow you strayed and lost your way, and
  now there'll be no time to play, no time for joy, no time for
  friends - not even time to make amends. You are too naïve if you do
  believe life is innocent laughter and fun.


183356c185480
Frost: Boy's definitely got a corncob up his ass.
183399,183400c185523,185524
[only in special edition]
[discussing where the eggs come from]
183402c185526
Vasquez: Bees, man. Bees have hives!
183616c185740
  the mess hall. We have fire axes - nothing terribly formidable.
183678a185803,185805
Ripley: What makes you think they're gonna care about a bunch of
  lifers who found a cod at the ass end of space?

184494c186621
Carl Bernstein: Boy, that woman was paranoid! At one point I - I
184558c186685
Bob Woodward: Well, I - I understand.
184606c186733
[The arraignment of the burglars begins]
184616c186743
[While waiting for the arraignment of the burglars]
184646c186773
  this story? You guys are about to write a story that says the
184664a186792,186794
[after seeing Woodward light up a cigarette]
Bob Woodward: Is there any place you *don't* smoke?

184737a186868,186879
# Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold (1987)
[referring to Sorais, the well-endowed evil queen, prancing about in
  her skimpy costume]
Allan Quatermain: I've seen some amazing things in my life, but never
  anything to compare with this.

[referring to his brother, who disappeared searching for The Lost
  City of Gold]
Allan Quatermain: He was always ready to go off at the drop of a
  legend.


187077c189219
Mr. Kroot: OK, Bolander, you are suspended. Don't - don't even come
187088c189230
Debbie Dunham: Girls don't pay - guys pay!
187107,187108c189249,189250
[Pats Curt on the shoulder and runs back to the car]
Curt Henderson: Wait a minute. What blood initiation?
187117,187118c189259,189260
Terry: You mean John Milner? [Falfa nods slowly] Hey, nobody can beat
  him, man. He's got the fastest -
187130c189272
  night before. Just -
187143c189285
  roaming the streets, wants ME... Would you turn the corner?
187158,187160c189300,189301
Bum at Liquor Store: Why certainly! I lost my wife, too - her name
  wasn't Idy, though, and it wasn't in a flood - but I know what ya -
187174,187175c189315,189333
Terry: Yeah? Well, get in and I'll let you feel it... I mean, you
  know, you can touch it... uh... I'll let you feel the upholstery.

[first lines]
Terry: Hey, what do you say Curt! Last night in town - you guys gonna
  have a little bash before you leave?
Steve Bolander: The Moose have been looking for you all day. [hands
  check to Curt] They got worried - thought you were trying to avoid
  them or something.
Terry: What is it? What do ya got?
Curt Henderson: Oh, great.
Terry: That's $2000 man! $2000!
Steve Bolander: Mr. Jennings gave it to me to give to you. He says
  he's sorry it's so late but it's the first scholarship the Moose
  Lodge has given out. And he, uh, says they're all very proud of you
  back at the lodge.
Curt Henderson: Cute. Why don't you hold it for me for awhile?
Steve Bolander: Hey, I don't want it. Take it - it's yours.
Terry: I'll take it!
188688c190846
Patrick Bateman: No, serial killer, Wisconsin, the '50s.
188694c190852,190853
Patrick Bateman: "What her head would look like on a stick..."
  [laughs]
188877c191036
  and relief washes over me in an awesome wave.
190160c192319
  when I'm drunk when I start throwing up!
190163c192322
Sharon Pogue: What!
190165c192324
Sharon Pogue: [startled] Excuse Me!
190167c192326
  your uniform, on your day off... with regular clothes.
190171c192330
Catch: What's the difference!
190179c192338
Catch: Well, you know, your interrogation, so do I need a lawyer?
190183c192342
  getting the impression that we're in trouble!.
190187c192346
Elanora: Really?
190190c192349
Elanora: Will you please be serious Catch!
190192c192351
Elanora: Really, I hope you didn't have to tackle her too!
190199c192358
  get going?
190210,190211c192369,192370
Sharon Pogue: Let's talk about something stupid!
Catch: Ok, you first!
190214c192373
  like?
190220c192379
Sharon Pogue: I don't know, why are you here?
190227,190229c192386,192388
Sharon Pogue: You bring coffee?
Catch: You think you deserve coffee?
Sharon Pogue: You bring any food?
190232,190235c192391,192394
Sharon Pogue: What do you do?, where do work?, Where are you from?,
  [pauses] I'm sorry but it's just I'm no good at this whole dating
  thing, every time I try to talk to somebody, it always comes out
  like an interrogation
190240c192399
Sharon Pogue: I see you got a new friend here, what's his name?
190242,190244c192401,192403
Sharon Pogue: [startled] You named your dog BOB?, did he tell you
  that?
Catch: Yeah!
190246c192405
Sharon Pogue: Tell me straight out, who are you?
190251c192410
Sharon Pogue: Which is?
190258a192418,192423
Robby: So I heard your little date didn't work out, I don't think the
  problem was that he talked too much, you just didn't want to clean
  his itty bitty pipes.
Sharon Pogue: Of course I wanted to clean his pipes, it was just the
  conversation that was pissing me off.

192410c194575
Ollie: Well, here's a another nice mess you've gotten me into.
192413,192414c194578,194579
Other Officer: Yeah, a couple just ran in there, why?
Officer: Well, they was in the park and they had put a couple of
192422c194587
Stan: Oh, yeah. Then there's the nursery.
192433c194598
Ollie: Oh, yes, yes, they're twins. See, one was born in Detroit, the
193529,193558d195693
194165a196301,196319
Mrs. "Momma" Dewey Sr.: [singing] Some times my steps are weary /
  Sometimes my steps are slow, but I only got one journey on my mind
  / The hurts of this world may cease to make me stay / But my one
  regret is leaving you behind / and I'll meet you on the far side
  banks of Jordan / I'll be sitting drawing pictures in the sand /
  And when I see you coming I will rise up with a shout / I'll be
  runnin' through the shallow water reachin' for your hand.

Euliss "Sonny" Dewey - The Apostle E.F.: [sonny sees his momma laying
  on the floor] Mama, i can't take you with me now so get back in
  your Chair. I know you've died and gone on home to heavan momma so
  i hope you can hear me. I cant take you with me now,You be good
  while i'm gone. Eh, Momma? kiss and angel for me Momma, i cant take
  you with me now. Hug St. peters neck for me. I gotta go to work.

Elmo: It's a pay before you pray deal.

Elmo: And no speaking in tongues on the air.

194335a196490,196494
# April Fool's Day (1986/I)
Nikki Brashares: But Muffy hasn't been in an institution in three
  years - she's been at Vassar!


195077a197237,197238
Lev Andropov: I'm a real Russian hero.

195312a197474,197475
Mr. Fix: Follow that ostrich!

195475,195476c197638,197641
Dr. Einstein: At least people in plays act like they've got sense.
Mortimer Brewster: Oh, you think so? Did you ever see anybody in a
  play act like they got any intelligence?
Dr. Einstein: [agonizing] How can anybody be so stupid!
195552c197717
  bodies in the cellar and you admit you poisoned them.
195554c197719
  telling a fib.
195557a197723,197731
Elaine Harper: Well, that's a fine thing. We're married one minute
  and you're throwing me out of the house the next.
Mortimer Brewster: I am not throwing you out of the house, I am not
  throwing you out of the house, I am not throwing you out of the
  house. Will you get out of here? [Pushes her out and slams the
  door; Mr. Gibbs is standing on the porch holding a newspaper]
Mr. Gibbs: I read that there was a room for rent here...
Elaine Harper: Oh, shut up!

195577c197751
Mortimer Brewster: Well, then I must not be dreaming.
195580,195581c197754,197755
Elaine Harper: But, Mortimer - Niagara Falls.
Mortimer Brewster: It does? Well, let it.
195587,195588c197761,197762
Jonathan Brewster: Perhaps we should introduce ourselves. This is Dr.
  Einstein.
195591a197766,197768
Elaine Harper: Now, I suppose you're going to tell me that you're
  Boris Kar...
Jonathan Brewster: I am Jonathan Brewster!
195625c197802
[after listening to Mortimer's description of a character in a play]
195637c197814,197815
Cab Driver: I knew this would end up in the nuthouse.
Mr. Witherspoon: [offended] We like to think of it as a rest home!
195639c197817
[threatening Mortimer]
195644c197822
Reporter: Seems like the same suckers get married everyday.
195656a197835,197839
Abby Brewster: Of course not, dear. He died first.
Mortimer Brewster: But how?
Abby Brewster: The gentleman died because he drank some wine with
  poison in it. Now, I don't know why you're making such a big deal
  over this Mortimer. Don't you worry about a thing!
195686,195690c197869,197909
  it faster! No, I don't want the Happy Dale Laundry. I want the
  Happy Dale Sanatorium. Sanatorium, sanatorium, sanatorium. Yes,
  yes, like a broken record. Hello - what? They're busy? Busy? Look,
  they're busy and you're dizzy. No, I am not drunk, madam, but
  you've given me an idea. [throws down the phone in disgust]

Lt. Rooney: Who are you? What's your name?
Mortimer Brewster: Well, usually I'm Mortimer Brewster, but I'm not
  quite myself today.

Aunt Abby Brewster: Just the thought of Jonathan frightens me. Do you
  remember how he used to cut worms in half with his teeth?
Mortimer Brewster: Oh, Jonathan? He's probably in prison or hanged or
  something by now.

Mortimer Brewster: Wait outside.
Dr. Gilchrist: But it's Halloween!
Mortimer Brewster: Oh, don't worry about Halloween. The pixies won't
  be out till after midnight.

Jonathan Brewster: [pulling on surgical gloves] And now doctor... we
  go to work!
Dr. Einstein: No, Johnny. I cannot operate without a drink!
Jonathan Brewster: Pull yourself together, doctor!
Dr. Einstein: I cannot pull myself together without a drink!

Elaine Harper: [Mortimer is feeling amorous in the cemetery with
  Elaine] Mortimer! Right out here in the open with everyone looking?
Mortimer Brewster: Yes, right out here in the open with everyone
  looking. Let everyone in Brooklyn over sixteen look!

Mortimer Brewster: What is this? Did everyone in Brooklyn know I was
  getting married but me?
Martha Brewster: We knew you'd find out in time.

Mortimer Brewster: [trying to make Jonathan leave] Now, here's ten
  dollars. Why don't you be a good sport and go out and haunt
  yourself a hotel?

Jonathan Brewster: The home of my youth... As a child, I wanted to
  escape it. Now, I want to escape back into it.
201702,201703c203921,203922
Ben Kinnear: [after kneeing Wicks in the testicles] Anyone for Plum
  Jam?
204361a206581,206594
# Bat*21 (1988)
Lt. Col. Iceal Hambleton: Bird Dog, I killed a man today. He wasn't
  even a soldier; he just kept coming. I couldn't stop him. I didn't
  want to do it. I never had to do anything like that before in my
  life.
Capt. Bartholomew Clark: Listen here, Bat 21. I never met you, but
  you don't sound like a killer to me. I'm sure you couldn't stop it
  from happening.

Capt. Bartholomew Clark: Let's get the basic relationship down... I'm
  the lifeguard, you're the drowning man. If you relax, I can bring
  you to shore. If you fight me, then I'll have to slap you around.


204619a206853,206854
Robin: [while running] Holy Marathon, Batman! I've got a stitch!

204654c206889
[Batman dangles a mugger over the side of a building]
204664,204665c206899,206903
Batman: Excuse me.
[Joker looks]
Batman: Have you ever danced with the devil by the pale moon light?
[Punches him]
Batman: I'm going to kill you!
204667c206905
  vat of chemicals. That wasn't easy to get over, and don't think
204669c206907,206908
Batman: I know you did.
[Punches him]
204689c206928
[The Joker sees a picture of Vicki Vale]
204725c206964
[Last lines]
204735c206974
[Jack is primping in front of a mirror]
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[The Joker reveals himself for the first time]
204767c207006
[The Joker reads the newspaper]
204797,204798c207036,207038
Joker: As though we were made for each other... Beauty and the Beast.
  Of course, if anyone else calls you beast, I'll rip their lungs
  out.
204821,204822c207061,207062
Batman: Let me tell you about this guy I know. Jack. Mean kid. Bad
  seed. Hurt people.
204834c207074,207075
The Joker: Hey you wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?
  Huh?
205194c207435
Selina Kyle: Wow, THE Batman - or is it just "Batman"? It's your
205213c207454,207455
Henchman: Penguin... killing sleeping children. Isn't it that a
  little ah...
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Catwoman: Honey, I'm home. Oh, I forgot. I'm not married.
205225c207467
The Penguin: You're just jealous because I'm a genuine freak and you
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The Penguin: You got to admit I've played this stinking city like a
  hawk from hell.
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The Penguin: Ah, the direct approach. I admire that from a man with a
  mask.
[laughs, then turns serious]
The Penguin: You don't really think you'll win, do you?
205262c207505
Charles 'Chip' Shreck: Dad, you buy that blear business?
205343,205344c207586,207587
  sitting there working; I turn around, there she is. "Oh hi, Vick -
  come on in."
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  sorority chick who's trying to get back at her daddy for not buying
  her that pony when she turned sweet sixteen.
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Catwoman: Batman napalmed my arm, and knocked me off a building just
  when i was starting to feel good about myself. I want to play an
  integral part in his degradation.
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  all... dirty. I think I'll give myself a bath right here.
[licks herself in a cat-like manner]
205375c207619
[crouched atop a dazed Batman]
205377c207621,207622
  die for. Your the sencond man who killed me this week, but I've got
  7 lives left.
206996a209242,209245
# Beastmaster III: The Eye of Braxus (1996) (TV)
Lord Agon: The shroud of agony will rip the answer from your brain!


207102c209351
Grushinsky: I thought you teach science!
207120c209369
Boris Pochenko: You do not understand
207124c209373
Boris Pochenko: This whole thing is none of your business!
207129c209378,209379
Boris Pochenko: They boy will remain in prison, it's none of your
  business
207464c209714
Hansen: Nash. Who's winning - you, or you?
207528a209779,209781
General: You ever... just *know* something, Dr. Nash?
Nash: Constantly.

207755a210009,210011
Butt-head's Dad: You got a match?
Butt-head: Uh, yeah. My butt and your, uh, butt. Uh huh huh.

208295a210552,210553
George Spiggott: And the magic word: Julie Andrews!

208416a210675,210685
[after the Devil shows up on Elliot's computer screen]
Elliot Richards: What are you doing here?
The Devil: Just think of me as a computer virus.
Elliot Richards: I think of you as a PLAGUE!

[being hauled away by policemen]
Elliot Richards: I'm telling you, the Devil gypped me for a
  HAMBURGER!

Elliot Richards: I'm gay. Well, thanks for dropping by.

208839a211109,211111
Gen. John T. Short: Dr. Wainright, you're a scientist, you know what
  grasshoppers can do. I'm a soldier, I know what guns can do.

210427a212700,212714
# Betrayed by Innocence (1986) (TV)
Sharon DeLeon: Don't forget to take out the garbage.

Nick DeLeon: I'll take the couch.

Nick DeLeon: But we didn't plan this!

Nick DeLeon: She looked like a woman!

Marisa Vogel: I am not your wife, I am your DAUGHTER!

Mike Vogel: You don't know what kind of world we really live in,
  young woman.


211266c213553
  his men fire machine guns at them] Now we are in danger. We are
211306c213593
[Sensei asks Gobei to be honest to him when asking about Haru]
211330a213618,213622
Sensei: You must stop comparing yourself to Gobei!
Haru: But why, master? He is the best ninja.
Sensei: We would all be fortunate to have a heart as big as yours,
  Haru.

212633a214926,214931
# Big Fix, The (1978)
Moses Wine: Bakunin? Bakunin was a terrorist monster. You are not an
  authority on Bakunin just because you used to date every terrorist
  in Soviet Russia, that does not make you an authority.


215721a218020,218025
[Billy Jack is surrounded by Posner's thugs]
Mr. Posner: You really think those Green Beret Karate tricks are
  gonna help you against all these boys?
Billy Jack: Well, it doesn't look to me like I really have any choice
  now, does it?
Mr. Posner: [laughing] That's right, you don't.
215723,215726c218027,218035
  hell of it?
Mr. Posner: Tell me.
Billy Jack: I'm gonna take this right foot, and I'm gonna whop you on
  that side of your face...
[points to Posner's right cheek]
Billy Jack: ...and you wanna know something? There's not a damn thing
  you're gonna be able to do about it.
Mr. Posner: Really?
Mr. Posner: Really. [kicks Posner in the face]
215836c218145
Cindy: Then why are you going in?
215844a218154,218168
Jean: You just can't keep making your own laws. There's got to be one
  set of laws fair for everyone, including you.
Billy Jack: That's fine. When that set of laws is applied to
  everyone, then I'll turn the other cheek too.
Jean: There's got to be a better way to change those people.
Billy Jack: CHANGE those people? You worked with King, didn't you?
Jean: Yes!
Billy Jack: Where is he?
Jean: Dead.
Billy Jack: And where's Bob and Jack Kennedy?
Jean: Dead.
Billy Jack: Not "dead", their brains blown out! Because YOUR people
  wouldn't even put the same controls on their guns as they do on
  their dogs, their bicycles, their cats, and their automobiles.

217129a219454,219465
# Birdy (1984)
[reaction to Al extolling the female breast]
Birdy: They're just like on a cow, but in a more stupid place.

[about his psychiatrist]
Sergeant Al Columbato: I don't trust the guy. Everything's too
  interesting to him.

Birdy: You ever wondered what our lives down here must look like to a
  bird?


218263a220600,220604
# Black Scorpion (1995) (TV)
Dr. Goddard: If I can't breathe like everyone else, then I'm gonna
  make everyone else breathe like me.


218402c220743
  sound of cannon fire]
218409,218410c220750,220751
[newly-appointed governor of Jamaica Sir Henry Morgan, Jamie Waring,
  and Tommy Blue
218415c220756
Tom 'Tommy' Blue: At least we don't have to shoot our way in.
218430c220771
Tom 'Tommy' Blue: It's better than none!
218436,218437c220777,220778
Tom 'Tommy' Blue: [referring to Margarent Denby] If you kick her in
  the heart she'll break your leg.
218440,218441c220781,220782
Tom 'Tommy' Blue: Aye. Some people likes to hear them. I like
  trumpets better.
218443,218447c220784,220788
[one of Leech's crew sits on the hatch over the hold containing the
  imprisoned seamen of the Revenge]
Tom 'Tommy' Blue: You may lock me in a hole, you varmints, but you
  can't sit on me. Here's to you. Bottoms up!
[Tommy jabs the pirate with a knife]
219829a222171,222183
# Blaue Engel, Der (1930)
Kiepert: You must drink. I'm not paying for your art.

Lola Lola: They call me Lola.

[to stuffy Professor Immanuel Rath, who is dressed in a clown suit]
Lola Lola: Your boys should see you now.

[singing]
Lola Lola: Falling in love again/ Never wanted to/ What am I to do?/
  I can't help it.


220329a222684,222689
# Blind Date (1987)
[Nadia accepts attorney David Bedford's marriage proposal on the
  condition that he defend her true love in court]
Nadia Gates: You mean we have to have sex? All right, but no kissing!


220587a222948,222954
# Blood & Donuts (1995)
Stephen: Am I employing retards? I have nothing against retards in
  general, I just can't afford to employ them.

Earl: What's, like, your take on heaven.


221040a223408,223414
# Bloody Birthday (1981)
Joyce Russel: This is Debbie's chart. It's really weird. Because
  there was an eclipse the day she was born, both the sun and the
  moon were blocking Saturn. There should be something missing from
  her personality.


221431a223806,223808
Jeff: If you think "fast food" is hitting a deer at 65 miles an hour,
  you might be a redneck.

221934a224312,224321
Mother Mary Stigmata: Before Curtis came to us at St. Helen of the
  Blessed Shroud he had a musical group that toured the joints of the
  Mid West. In one town Curtis had an affair... with a married woman.
Elwood Blues: Go Curtis! [Mother Mary Stigmata hits him] I mean...
  that's terrible.
Mother Mary Stigmata: That's what I thought you meant.

Cab Chamberlain: I thought you said she was old and ugly.
Elwood Blues: Ix-nay on the ugly-ay.

222251a224639,224640
Officer Mount: I don't believe it. It's that shitbox Dodge again!

222533a224923,224927
# Body and Soul (1981)
Julie Winters: I just wish your were double jointed so you could turn
  around and kiss your own ass.


222725a225120,225153
# Bolero (1984)
[Lida is upset when her lover falls asleep in bed even though she's
  wearing nothing but a thick coat of honey]
Lida MacGillivery: I'm all dressed up and no place to go!

Lida MacGillivery: YOu say that we never found ecstasy... that it was
  quicksilver, always promising next time. Angel, i want ecstasy.
  Let's find it!

Lida MacGillivery: Do everything to me. Show me how I can do
  everything to you.

Lida MacGillivery: In the way of love, we're kindergarten toddlers.

Lida MacGillivery: I had so many years of being so very proper. I had
  good-girl claustrophobia.

[Even though she rides her horse naked, she can't arouse Angel]
Lida MacGillivery: You're a hard man to seduce.

[Not realizing he has been gored in the groin, Lida thinks Angel
  still can make love to her]
Lida MacGillivery: Now pay attention and concentrate on what I'm
  gonna say. This thing is going to work!

Lida MacGillivery: I've come all this way to give you something you
  may not even want - my virginity.

[Lida complains that, if her virginity isn't taken immediately, it
  will spoil]
Lida MacGillivery: The fruit is so ripe, it's ready to fall off the
  tree.


223882a226311,226312
Rocco: Wyatt-fuckin-Earp!

225944a228375,228383
# Boys from Brazil, The (1978)
[Ezra explains why he is searching for Josef Mengele]
Ezra Lieberman: He was the chief doctor of Auschwitz, who killed 2.5
  million people, experimented with childred - Jewish and non-Jewish
  - using twins mostly, injecting blue dyes into their eyes to make
  them acceptable Aryans, amputating limbs and organs from thousands
  without anesthetics.


226649c229088
Father McGruder: I kick arse for the Lord!
228285c230724
# Briar Patch (2003)
228420a230860,230863
Chucky: Any man would need a hunk of plastic PROBABLY battery
  operated to get a reaction out of you in bed. And by the way, where
  the Hell did you learn to bake?

230065a232509,232514
# Broadcast Bombshells (1995)
Neil Rostentoski, Kendall's Old Friend: Yep, that's me, an artist,
  living in a town where they think culture is what you find at the
  bottom of a yogurt cup.


230298c232747
# Broken (2003/I)
230358a232808,232820
Gen. Oliver 'The Christian General' Howard: All are God's children.
Tom Jeffords: Suppose their skins weren't white. Are they still God's
  children?

Narrator: This is the story of a land, and a people, and a man whose
  name was... Cochise.

Tom Jeffords: His words meant very little to me then, but as time
  passed, I came to know that the death of Sonseeahray had put a seal
  upon the peace. And from that day on wherever I went - in the
  cities, among the Apaches, in the mountains - I always remembered
  my wife was with me.

230372c232834
[While fighting with Hale]
230380c232842
[On whether to disclose the loss of a stealth bomber]
230411c232873
[Deakins has just killed a man face to face for the first time]
230481a232944,232950
Terry: [after Hale has shot a bad guy from between her legs] Wow.
Capt. Riley Hale: Yeah. That was a first for me too.

[after Hale has shot a bad guy from between Terry's legs]
Terry Carmichael: Wow.
Riley Hale: Yeah. That was a first for me too.

230741,230742c233210,233211
Billy: Well, I guess if I am going to be wanted man, I might as well
  wear this.
230811a233281,233289
Bronco Billy McCoy: You should never kill a man unless it's
  absolutely necessary.

Bronco Billy McCoy: I've got a special message for you little
  pardners out there. I want you to finish your oatmeal at breakfast
  and do as your mom and pa tell you because they know best. Don't
  ever tell a lie and say your prayers at night before you go to bed.
  And as our friends south of the border say, 'Adios, amigos.'

231501a233980,233985
# Brubaker (1980)
Lillian Gray: You can't reform the system if you're not in it.

Henry Brubaker: I don't see playing politics with the truth.


231982a234467,234474
# Bucket of Blood (1995) (TV)
Art: You don't even remember your own poems - that's so... Goethe

Maxwell: Life is nothing but a homeless traveler on the RTD of art.

Older Woman: Darling, you reek of bohemia.


232983c235475
Monk With No Name: Homemade. From my own urine.
232992,232993c235484,235485
Monk With No Name: Why do hot dogs come in packages of ten, but hot
  dog buns only come in packages of just eight?
233002,233008c235494,235500
Monk With No Name: An enlightened man would offer a weary traveler a
  bed for the night, and invite him to share a civilized conversation
  over a bowl of Cocoa Puffs.

Monk With No Name: An enlightened man would offer a humble traveler
  shelter for the night and share a quiet conversation over a bowl of
  Cocoa Puffs.
234259a236752,236757
# Butcher's Wife, The (1991)
Leo Lemke: My wife is going off the deep end... a short trip for her.

Marina Lemke: Folks call me Marina and I'm a clairvoyant.


234405c236903
[opens car door to see Mike Kissing a girl]
234408a236907,236925
Mike: Always a best man, never a man.

Mike: A blind man could smell your love.

Nicole: That's when you need to say, "Buddy boy, it's time to shit or
  get off the pot."
Sarah: And I would be the 'shit' part of that analogy?

Jonesy: You're still not telling us everything.
David Collins: Of course not, you're my friends.

David Collins: You're the only people I've ever told.
Mike: Yeah, can you keep it that way? It makes you seem kind of
  creepy.

Amy: [after Mike gives her a dollar when she's stripping] Wow! A
  dollar! Now I can quit stripping, go back to vet school, and save
  my sick pony.

235691a238209,238217
# Caduta degli dei, La (1969)
Martin Von Essenbeck: Lisa. Look what I've brought you. Do you like
  this little horse?
Lisa: Yes, thank you.
Martin Von Essenbeck: You can ride on it. Do you like it? Hmmm? You
  can caress it. Try it Lisa. It's all yours. Do you like it?
Lisa: Yes.


236633c239159
Dennis Van Welker [shouting: TALK LOUD ENOUGH FOR PEOPLE TO HERE YOU!
236647a239174,239184
"Mud": Maybe we could out when you get b... chests?

T.R. Polk: [after getting the money for Dennis' car] You're a little
  short.
"Mud": Well... you're a little fat.

Zach: I just gotta say... THIS IS MAJOR COOL,YEAH!

Zach: You know, if you were wearing a skirt right now, I'd be in
  heaven.

237550,237567d240086
238395c240914
Carlito: Favor gonna kill you faster than a bullet.
238428c240947
  fuck her, fuck her like a normal human being - take her in the
239122,239123c241641,241646
Cora Flange: You filthy rotten stinking beast.
Vic Flange: What have a done now?
Cora Flange: Don't you come the innocent with me. You and that Sadie
  Tomkins... [Cora mimics Sadie's voice] Are you going on the same
  trip too? oh well fancy that, oh yes fancy that. WELL I DON'T FANCY
  THAT AT ALL.
239211a241735,241739
Sadie Tompkins: Don't you understand? I don't want just a quick roll
  in the hay. I need something that's going to last
Bert Conway: Who says it's not going to last? We don't go home until
  tomorrow afternoon

239745a242274,242277
Mrs. Spragg: [in reference to the Motorbike revving noise] It's a
  disgrace Mrs Spanner it really is
Agatha Spanner: You go back inside and mind your own bloody business

240244,240245c242776,242777
Rick: You'll excuse me, gentlemen. Your business is politics, mine is
  running a saloon.
241457a243990
[last lines]
241459c243992
  and Tappman watch from the window]
241481c244014
  life raft. He leaps into the sea, paddling furiously, and is gone]
241533a244067,244078
[first lines]
Lt. Col. Korn, XO: [speaking to Yossarian] All you have to do is be
  our pal.
Colonel Cathcart: Say nice things about us.
Lt. Col. Korn, XO: Tell the folks at home what a good job we're
  doing. Take our offer Yossarian.
Colonel Cathcart: Either that or a court-martial for desertion.

Yossarian: He was very old.
Luciana: But he was a boy.
Yossarian: Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.

242136a244682,244684
Manra: Everybody was following chachi so I thought I also would
  follow chachi.

244109c246657
  initials on this handkerchief are A.P. - what does A.P. stand for?
244128c246676
[The door opens and the police come in]
244149c246697
Betty DeBoop: Let's not get in a sweat about details. - Aren't you
244151c246699
Lou Peckinpaugh: Certainly. [He lights her cigarette] I was just
244157c246705
Paul DuChard: There is nothing to worry about, my dear - we're in
244179,244180c246727,246728
Colonel Schlissel: Well spoken - whatever it means. Ah, may I present
  Miss DeBoop, like yourselves a well-built exile?
244187c246735
  can still light torches in the caves of honor...
244208c246756
Marcel: We took France - at eight to five.
244221c246769
Jasper Blubber: It is? I was wrong - the waiter's name is Brandy.
244226c246774
Jasper Blubber: Not without spitting. - Well, sir, I have spent
244249c246797
Mrs. Montenegro: Not to me - she was adopted!
244281,244284c246829,246832
  would be an act of cowardice. I'm marrying Paul DuChard, because -
  " and that's all I can remember.
Lou Peckinpaugh: You can't remember why you married him?
Marlene DuChard: That letter was written a long time ago - I've
244301c246849
Lou Peckinpaugh: Of course! - Who the hell is he?
244305,244306c246853,246854
[The phone rings]
Bess: [into phone] Hello? - Yes, he is. Who's calling, please? [to
244310,244311c246858,246859
Jezebel Dezire: See anything you like? I'm Jezebel Dezire - accent on
  the "desire."
244339c246887
  "baubles." If you were an American you would know that. But the
244341c246889
  that's why it's difficult for you, isn't it - Mrs. Vladimir
244349c246897
  Tsijeremi - Tsijiza - Ts-Tsetsamuncze - Tsetzunseti - It's been so
244355c246903
Bess: I don't think he's being stubborn - I think he's being dead!
244398c246946
Lou Peckinpaugh: [answering phone] Yeah?
244407c246955,246956
  trust you.
[hangs up]
247799a250349,250351
Amano Jaku: You fucking Ma-Kai are all the same. One little sniff of
  pussy, and you lose it!

251467,251472c254019,254025
Brad Neary: [bewildered] That's a fraction, I don't understand them.
Roy Neary: [using a model train as an object lesson] Alright, let's
  say that this boxcar is sixty feet long, OK?, and one third of it
  is across this switch here, alright... And now another train is
  coming... Now, how far do you have to move this boxcar so that the
  other train doesn't smash it? Quickly Brad, there are thousands of
  lives at stake... Brad any answer...
251487c254040
Barry Guiler: You can come and play now.
251493c254046,254047
AirEast Pilot: [over radio] I wouldn't know what kind of report to
  file, Center.
251495,251496c254049,254050
Project Leader: He says the sun came out last night. He says it sang
  to him.
251501c254055,254056
Jillian Guiler: [on the police inquiring about her missing son] They
  asked me if I'd seen any strangers in the neighborhood.
251527c254082
Team Leader: Einstein was PROBABLY one of them!
251765a254321,254327
Sam: [referring to lyrics form a Coconut Pete song] You know, octopus
  spelled backwards is supotco. Juan, isn't that Spanish for
  something?
Juan: Supotco? No. But, the word for shoe is zapato.
Putman: [returning from being on stage] What'd I miss?
Jenny: Apparently somebody's going to get killed with a shoe.

252704a255267,255273
Patsy Cline: [Loretta and Doolittle are fighting in the parking lot]
  Get in the car, Loretta! Get in the damn car and drive, Charlie!

Radio station manager: And come off that dumb hillbilly act!
Doolittle: If you knew Loretta, you'd know that ain't no act.
Loretta Lynn: Thank you, honey.

253147a255717,255721
# Coffee and Cigarettes (2003)
Cate: Isn't it funny how when you can't afford something it costs a
  fortune, but suddenly when you can afford it it's just, like, free?


253608a256183,256188
# Collateral (2004)
[from trailer]
Max: You killed him?
Vincent: No, I shot him. The bullet and the fall is what killed him.


253711c256291
  and a man with an axe in one hand and a bloody mess in the other.
253713a256294,256296
Gigi: Adam, if we ever get married, the first thing I'll do is... get
  a divorce.

254769a257353,257375
# Comedy Central Presents: Greg Proops (1999) (TV)
Greg Proops: Whoo! Heidi! Little goat girl, you are kicking the jam.
  You've got my lederhosen in a situation.

Greg Proops: My feeling is, the Pilgrims were asked to leave England.
  England was never funner than when the Pilgrims split, right? The
  people of England got a little tired of these dour, right-winged
  conservative psycho-Christians wearing all black, bumming people
  out, confusing everyone by wearing buckles on... their heads. "Is
  that tight enough for you, Cotton?" "Yea, verily."

Greg Proops: ...I have to hear this all the time in England: "Well,
  all Americans are fat and stupid, mm-hm-hm-hm-hm." Really? Well,
  thanks for sending over the best and brightest to start the party.
  Maybe we can send a few freaky, Texas, militia, hate-group,
  gun-toting weirdoes back to your country.

Greg Proops: How come we got the grumpy boat of bandy-legged
  Puritans? How come we didn't get the Italian party boat with the
  cappuccino makes and the gelato machine? That was the sexy boat,
  man.


255286a257893,257902
Diaz: Okay, Matrix. We have your daughter. There is someone who
  wishes to talk to you. If you want to see her alive, you'll
  cooperate, right?
Matrix: Wrong! [shoots Diaz between the eyes]

Cooke: You know what I like best about this car? The price. [Cranks
  up the car and backs up]
Forrestal, Car Salesman: Wait a minute! You can't do that in here!
  [Cooke speeds up and runs over Forrestal]

256132a258749,258758
[after Byrd tells Chuck to kill the unknown "mole"]
Chuck Barris: Hey, I got an idea. If you aren't so bad... why don't
  you do it? Why don't you kill the mole? You got a problem with
  killing, Jim?
Jim Byrd: I just don't fit the profile.
Chuck Barris: What fucking profile? There is no fucking profile.
Jim Byrd: Okay, there's no profile.
Chuck Barris: There's no profile.
Jim Byrd: Okay.

256325a258952,258955
Monroe: When these little African countries get into a dispute, they
  tend to just murder everybody. They live for the opportunity to
  settle scores... and they have a lot of scores to settle.

257011,257014d259640
257030,257035c259656,259661
Ellie Arroway: I had an experience, that I can't prove and can't
  explain, but everything that I know as a human being tells me that
  it was real. I was given something wonderful, that changed me
  forever. A vision of the universe, that tells us undeniably, that
  we belong to something that is greater then ourselves, and that
  none of us are alone.
257047c259673
  a bitch Hitler, and HE'S OUR FIRST AMBASSADOR TO OUTER SPACE!
258321,258350d260946
258390,258397c260986,261002
Mercedes: Is Viscount Torville dead?
Fernand Mondego: Well, unless his heart is situated somewhere other
  than the left side of his chest, I suspect he is.
Mercedes: [choking up, and making the sign of the cross] God grant
  him peace. He did no more than defend his family's honor.
Fernand Mondego: Much good it did him. His wife and I were happy in
  our passion. You were happy in your ignorance. Now comes the
  viscount's valiant defense of his honor, and you are pained. She is
  ruined, and he is dead.
Mercedes: Don't flatter yourself, Fernand. I was neither happy, nor
  ignorant, having known about the last three women before Madame
  Tourville.
Fernand Mondego: I'm sorry that you are humiliated. The combination
  of Paris and me is hardly a recipe for fidelity, is it? But since
  my attempts at discretion have evidently failed, there seems little
  point in keeping up pretenses. It's actually quite... liberating.
  Wouldn't you say?
258446,258448c261051,261054
Mercedes: Albert, I found the note you left explaining where you'd
  gone. But now I must explain something to you. Where you've really
  come from. Albert, you are the son of Edmond Dantes. The man you
  know as the Count of Monte Cristo.
258451,258452c261057,261058
  proof that your mother was as much of a whore in her younger years
  as she is today.
258480,258484c261086,261109
Fernand: I'm bankrupt. All my debts have been called in. Also, it
  appears I am to be arrested.
Mercedes: For what?
Fernand: Piracy, corruption, and murder.
Mercedes: Did you do all these things?
Fernand: Yes. But there's simply not the time to talk about it. The
  gendarmes are on their way, apparently, so hurry up and pack
  something.
Mercedes: I'm not going with you, Fernand.
[Fernand turns towards her and angrily breaks a mirror]
Fernand: [Panting] You are my wife. I have made arrangements for us.
  We shall be very well taken care of. Now go and find my son.
  [Fernand walks briskly away from Mercedes]
Mercedes: He's not your son.
[Fernand stops dead in his tracks]
Fernand: I beg your pardon?
Mercedes: Albert Mondego is the son of Edmond Dantes. [pause] Why do
  you think I rushed off so quickly to marry you when Edmond was
  taken away?
Fernand: [staring blankly in full realization] Premature. [Fernand
  steps towards Mercedes and stares piercingly down at her] Well
  aren't you a piece of work. So he's the bastard son of a dead
  traitor? [Mercedes smirks]
Fernand: He always was disappointing.
258490c261115
  years. But God has offered us a new beginning ...
258495a261121,261133
Luigi: I bid you good afternoon, sir. I am here to purchase your
  lovely home.
Mansion Owner: [Laughing] The very cheek! I shall have you
  horsewhipped! Now get off my property, you vagabond, before I set
  the dogs on you, you hear?
Mansion Owner: [Luigi lowers the wagon lid and reveals the treasure.
  The mansion owner sobers up and hands him the property contract]
  Thank you.

Count of Monte Cristo: [to Fernand Mondego] May I steal your wife?
Fernand Mondego: Excuse me?
Count of Monte Cristo: For the waltz?

258906a261545,261549
# Cover Me (1995)
Eddie Agajan: Ginger's my only other shower dancer and she's
  waterlogged.


261861a264505,264525
Kathryn: He likes you.
Cherie Claymon: How do you know he likes me?
Kathryn: I can see it in his eyes.
Cherie Claymon: So what do I do about it?
Kathryn: You're gonna have to let him fuck you.


# Cruel Intentions 3 (2004) (V)
Cassidy Merteuil: The only problem with sleeping with someone as
  twisted as you is that you're sleeping with someone as twisted as
  you.

Jason Argyle: I know why you did that. You wanted out.
Cassidy Merteuil: Wrong, I wanted back in.

Jason Argyle: If you want to be so much like Kathryn, then let me be
  your Sebastian.

Jason Argyle: [on Cassidy] She's a black widow, she comes from a long
  line of black widows.

263279a265944,266012
Ryan: My gun. [Warden retrieves Ryan's gun] Thank you... Now, the
  bullets.
Prison Warden: The bullets?
Ryan: Twenty- seven. Fifteen years ago, you put 'em in one of those
  bottom drawers there.
Prison Warden: Twenty seven. You have a good memory.
Ryan: Well, sometimes its not difficult. i still had six in my gun
  and 21 in my belt. If they hadn't double- crossed me, the count had
  been a little bit different.

Ryan: Somebody tries to shoot me in the back, I defend myself.
Sheriff: You defend yourself almost too well, mister. they're both
  dead as doornails.
Ryan: They came in the window. It wasn't to wish me pleasant dreams.

Bill: Fifteen years, there's been no new track. Only a spur. Then you
  come along, and there's 3 spurs.

Ryan: Somebody once wrote that revenge is a dish that has to be eaten
  cold. Hot as you are, you're liable to end up with indigestion.

Ryan: Watch out for these things. [tosses Cavanaugh back his
  Derringer] We wouldn't want you to get hurt... Not yet.

Vigro: They got all my money. But I wanna keep my skin!

Bill: [Challenging Burt Cavanaugh to a duel] Piano player - Hit three
  notes!

Bill: I can pay for the information, with his five hundred.
Ryan: He's worth more than that to me. Fifteen thousand. So I suggest
  you keep your distance. 'Cause if you don't, i might get MAD.

Ryan: Two lessons, my son. First, watch behind you. Second, count
  your shots - four bullets for one man, that's a waste.

Station master: This guy told me a pal of his should be coming along.
  He said I should give you the horse, and a kiss. The horse is
  there, waiting for you. Ehh, now now, where do you want that kiss?

Bill: Before anybody kills me they got to get my okay. And I don't
  think I'll give it to 'em.

Bandit: You! Who are you?
Bill: Someone who takes his anger out on men.
Bandit: What are you trying to say? That I'm afraid?
Bill: You've got a stupid face, but you get it.

Bill: Remember 15 years ago at the Mesito ranch? Another time when
  you took it out on a woman? Unfortunately for you, that woman
  happened to be my mother.

Ryan: [Sees Bill buried to his neck] You had to get here ahead of me
  didn't you? Idiot. Are you on your way in or out of that hole? You
  remind me of a groundhog that couldn't make up its mind.

[last lines]
Ryan: Good luck, son.

Wolcott: I've been working at this for years. Building their
  confidence in me, the citizens, as well as the governor of this
  state. But the most important thing is that finally, believe it or
  not, I have in my bank more than a million dollars, now. The funds
  the state deposited with me in view of our future public works.
  What do you think, Ryan? Should I build their stupid old public
  works with this mountain of dollars? [Walcott's bandits laugh]
  Well, they don't think I should. I guess I'll have to go along with
  their idea.

264228,264229c266961,266962
Franklin Nelson: What happens to that lie detector of yours when it
  detects your own bullshit?
265732a268466,268472
Kenneth: What about Fort Pastor?
Andre: Maybe if you had wings, the road's thick with those
  muthafuckas that way...
Kenneth: How do you know?
Andre: We just tried...
Michael: back when there was eight of us...

266276a269017,269026
# Day of the Warrior (1996)
Willow Black: I worked at Disneyland. I was one of the rides.


# Day of the Woman (1978)
[after his gang beats and rapes Jennifer]
Johnny: Total submission. That's what I like in a woman - total
  submission.


266590a269341,269342
Wooderson: Alright, alright, alright.

268401a271154,271159
O'Shea's man: Reg, that was really stupid. You've got a big mouth.
  Now, apologize to the man!
Reg: I ain't saying shit!
Tommy O'Shea: Ah now, Reggie, you know damn well that if you don't
  say shit, you lose ninety percent of your vocabulary.

269517,269518c272275,272283
Lewis Medlock: Is your name Griner?
First Griner: Whadda you wanna know for?
Lewis Medlock: I was wondering if you and your brother could take a
  couple of trucks down to Aintry for us. We'll be there about Sunday
  noon.
First Griner: Take 'em down there for what?
Lewis Medlock: Me and my buddy here are taking a canoe trip down the
  Kahoolawasee.
First Griner: What the hell you wanna go mess around that river for?
269520c272285
First Griner: It's there alright and you get in it and can't git out,
269521a272287,272300
Ed: -lowly- Maybe we should just go home and play golf this weekend.
Lewis Medlock: I'll give you thirty bucks to take those vehicles down
  to Aintry for us.
First Griner: I'll take fifty.
Lewis Medlock: Fifty like hell.
Ed: -whispering- Lewis, don't play games with these people.
First Griner: -stepping forward- What did you say?
Lewis Medlock: I said fifty like hell.
Ed: -whispering- Lewis!
First Griner: I'll take forty.
Lewis Medlock: O.k.
Lewis Medlock: -to Ed- You good for ten?
Ed: Yep.
First Griner: -shouting towards the house- Brando.
269536,269538c272315,272316
Lewis Medlock: We'll find it. We'll find it.
Second Griner: It ain't nothin' but the biggest river in the state.
269574a272353,272361
Doctor: Explain this to me again. I didn't know somebody could shoot
  themself with their own arrow.

Taxi Driver: This is the best thing that ever happened to this town.
  We might have to wait a minute until the church gets outta the way.

Taxi Driver: This is the best thing that ever happened to this town.
  We might have to wait a minute until the church gets outta the way.

270136c272923
  navy, any branch of the armed forces... you can fuck whoever you
270144,270145c272931,272932
  hanging... cuz he has a six-inch steel stud imbedded in the middle
  of it! That's just one more thing for your dad to grab a hold of
270163a272951,272956
Denis: When I become president, all you assholes that ride bikes in
  the city? Lock and load! You're going down!

Denis: Marv, Marv, Marv. Marv, this is God, what the HELL were you
  thinking?

270573a273367,273370
# Desire Me (1947)
Jean Renaud: Only frightened people are religious.


271296a274094,274098
Lex: You know, your clothes may say disco, but your eyes say rock n'
  roll.
Christine: Yeah? Well, your belt buckle may say rock n' roll, but
  your breath says pepperoni, baby.

271714c274516,274517
Kevin Lomax: Lose? I don't lose! I win! I'm a lawyer, that's my job,
  that's what I do!
271745a274549,274553
Mary Ann Lomax: Say I can handle it.
Kevin Lomax: You can handle it.
Mary Ann Lomax: Say something nice.
Kevin Lomax: Something nice.

273306c276114
Lee: Well, you're an unusual killer.
273308,273309c276116,276117
Lee: I believe in justice, but nobody trusts me.
Joe (Cantonese)/Jeffrey (English): I have the same problem.
273327c276135
Jennie: I just wish he were here now.
273375a276184,276192
Joe (Cantonese)/Jeffrey (English): I felt someone walk over my grave.

Joe (Cantonese)/Jeffrey (English): I've changed - I don't want to
  kill.

Lee: He's heroic in manner. He doesn't look like a killer

Sydney: I did it for you, Jeff, the only friend I ever had.

274011a276829,276836
# Diputado, El (1979)
[after the hustler Juanito confesses that he's been attempting to
  frame the politician Roberto for the fascists by sleeping with him]
Juanito: Which do you consider the biggest lie?
Roberto Orbea: Not telling me you were fascist bait.
Juanito: No. It was telling you I was doing this just for the money.


274079a276905,276906
Baby: So they FIRED you, because of me!

274262,274266c277089,277093
District Attorney Rothko: Where the hell does it say that you've got
  a right to kick down doors, torture suspects, deny medical
  attention and legal counsel? Where have you been? Does Escobedo
  ring a bell? Miranda? I mean, you must have heard of the Fourth
  Amendment. What I'm saying is that man had rights.
274299a277127,277135
Harry Callahan: Are you trying to tell me that Ballistics can't match
  the bullet up to this rifle?
District Attorney Rothko: It does not matter what Ballistics can do.
  This rifle might make a nice souvenir. But it's inadmissible as
  evidence.
Harry Callahan: And who says that?
District Attorney Rothko: It's the law.
Harry Callahan: Well, then the law is crazy.

274434c277270
  Buffalo Bills, Chicago Cubs, and Mr. T.
275119a277956,277958
Caro: [places date-rape drug in Sidda's drink] Well, we can't just
  conk her on her head!

277979a280819,280821
Donnie: Life isn't that simple. I mean who cares if Ling Ling returns
  the wallet and keeps the money? It has nothing to do with either
  fear or love.
277980a280823,280826
Donnie: Okay. But you're not listening to me. There are other things
  that need to be taken into account here. Like the whole spectrum of
  human emotion. You can't just lump everything into these two
  categories and then just deny everything else!
278392c281238
Billy Lee: Your ugly like your mother.
278930c281776
[trying to follow Vicky out of a Japanese restaurant]
278944c281790
[About Barbara Novak]
279002,279003c281848,281849
  take me back to your place - that you were pretending was someone
  else's - in order to get the evidence you needed to write your
279036c281882
Barbara Novak: Here, have a candy bar, and thank you for thinking of
279040c281886
Barbara Novak: Even at a pay cut of 96.6%?
279043,279044c281889,281890
Barbara Novak: You think you could be comfortable in a position under
  a woman?
279054c281900
Barbara Novak: Vegas?
279057c281903
Barbara Novak: Oh, Catch.
279059c281905
Barbara Novak: I know.
279061c281907,281908
Vickie Hiller: I don't get it. How could a person lose their built-in
  bar?
279063c281910
Peter MacMannus: You're fired.
279065c281912
Peter MacMannus: Oh, Yes you are.
279067c281914
Peter MacMannus: We Americans? Why? We Americans are good, Nazis are
279072,279073c281919,281920
Peter MacMannus: The story? It's written? Whoa Catch. But is it safe
  to print? NASA is gonna blow its stack.
279076c281923
Barbara Novak: Oh, I'd like to Zip, really, I would. But just the
279078c281925
  absolutely must not. [Catch kisses her as she tries to leave] Ok,
279083c281930
Peter MacMannus: Well me too. But fat chance now.
279087a281935,281943
Theodore Banner: You're my creative team, create a reason to get rid
  of her or I'll create a new creative team.

Theodore Banner: Not since Johannes Gutenberg's invention of the
  printing press, which changed forever the landscape of man's
  destiny, has one book reached so many and achieved so much;
  reminding all of us here today of the noble goal which called us to
  toil in the field of publishing to begin with... sales.

279701,279702c282557
  wheelchair] Mein Führer! I can walk!
279797,279798c282652,282653
[last lines]
Dr. Strangelove: Mein Führer! I can WALK!
279806,279807c282661,282662
[raising his alienated hand in a heil-hitler way]
Dr. Strangelove: MEIN FÜHRE... RRRR!
280034a282890,282894
Lord Arthur Holmwood: Forgive me, Sir. My life is hers - I would give
  my last drop of blood to save her.
   {Hopkins, Anthony@Van Helsing}: Your last drop? Thank you, you're
  very welcome here.

281287,281288c284147,284148
Beaver: [knocking on door] Hey Rick, you alright in there, buddy?
Rick McCarthy: Yeah, I just need to make a little room!
281766c284626
  that's really why you're askin', right?... S- someone say
281824c284684
  a nice cool mint to help turn those frowns upside down?
281826c284686
  head up your ass?
281852c284712
Loretta: ...most smartest. . .
281875,281877c284735,284737
Leslie Miller: Ok... Hi... I'm Leslie Miller... and I'm signing up
  'cause... oh... I always watch the pageants on TV and my boyfriend
  thinks I'll win [cuts to Leslie and her boyfriend making out] Hi
281880c284740
Lisa Swenson: If you're 18, and you're not a total fry... it's jus
281919a284780,284783
Lisa Swenson: [being interviewed for the documentary] My brother went
  to New York to pursue his career. I have pictures. Here he is as
  Barbara, as Liza, and, this is my favorite, as Cher.

282111a284976,284980
Ernest: And Diedre might get strong enough to pick up a hot comb.

Jason: Hey, Charles what's up with your socks man?
Charles: Don't worry about my socks man, it's a tuba thang shorty.
Jason: Better be.
283820c286689
[Looking over a menu]
283826c286695
Society Matron: Natalie is... oh, is it all right?
283831c286700
Society Matron: Uh... Natalie is Reed's ex-wife.
283919,283922c286788,286790
Dutch: You really are a hypocrite aren't you? A couple 'o hookers
  [Lowers voice] a couple 'o hookers got a set of rockets, that's
  okay, but everyone else who enters your station in life is scum?
283944c286812
[Mumbling through his gag, Doyle struggles to get loose]
283946a286815,286818
Dutch: So, what do you like to do for fun around here?
Doyle: Mmmmfff, mmm, mmmff!
Dutch: Oh, you like to wiggle and grunt. Me too.

284493c287365
Easter Rabbit: But you'll give the Easter Bunny a bad name.
284500c287372,287373
Bugs Bunny: [as Bugs and Elmer emerge from the Tunnel of Love] I'll
  bet you say that to all the wabbits!
284507a287381,287384
Bugs Bunny: [As the Bratty Kid is twirling him around in the air]
  How'd I get myself into this mess? [The Bratty Kid drops Bugs on
  the floor]

284770,284771c287647,287648
Georgie Weiss: you must have me confused with David Selznick. I don't
  make major motion pictures; I make crap.
284782c287659
  Universal. They want Charlton Heston as a Mexican.
284824,284825c287701,287702
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: What happened?
Bela Lugosi: How dare that asshole bring up Karloff? You think it
284827c287704
[Mocks Frankenstein]
285495c288372
  balance... Every time you see a brother in a wheelchair, he ain't
285512a288390,288399
Eddie Murphy: Brothers act like they couldn't have been slaves back
  200 years ago. It's like the motherfuckers LIKED that shit. "I
  whish I was a slave, I would fuck somebody up! Shit, tell ME to
  bale some motherfucking cotton! I would been on the street and
  shit, would've come up and say, "Ay, yo, nigger, bale this cotton!"
  I would say, "Suck my DICK, massa!""

Eddie Murphy: Mick Jagger's lips' so big, black people be going, "You
  got some big-ass lips!"

286684a289572,289576
Marcus Roach: For seven years I've been less than a man, but you're
  more than a woman. Only you can restore my lower half and make me
  more than a man. Come. We'll be the Adam and Eve of a new superior
  race, and they'll worship you as their queen.

287708c290600,290601
Kuzco: This is Yzma, the royal advisor. Living proof that dinosaurs
  once roamed the Earth.
287750c290643
[plotting ways to kill Kuzco]
287754,287756c290647,290651
  I'll mail that box to myself. And when it arrives, [laughs] I'll
  smash it with a hammer. It's brilliant, brilliant! Brilliant, I
  tell you! Genius, I say!
[Knocks over bottle of poison on flower, which shrivels up and dies]
Yzma: Or, to save on postage, I'll just poison him with this.
287797a290693,290696
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Reason number two: Look what I can do. Ha ha!
  [does one-armed handstand]
Kronk: Wait, what does that has to do with anything?
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: No, wait. He's got a point.
288019a290919,290921
Kuzco: And let's not forget Yzma's right-hand man. Every few decades
  she gets a new one. This year's model is named Kronk.

288999a291902,291906
# Eneste ene, Den (1999)
Mgala: Fuck
Stella: Well... fuck fuck


289070c291977
[Callaghan learns he is being transferred to Personnel]
289090a291998,292010
Frank DiGiorgio: [DiGiorgio is dying] Harry, the guy that stuck me. I
  recognized him. You remember that prostitute murder in the Fillmore
  District four, five years ago?
Harry Callahan: Yeah.
Frank DiGiorgio: One of the pimps, white guy, had one of those
  cutesy, little boy names; Billy, Jackie something like that; we
  liked him for it, Harry, we liked him a lot.
Harry Callahan: I remember we liked everybody in the District for
  that one.

Harry Callahan: So, what's Henry Lee up to these days?
Mustapha: He went white. Why, did he do something else stupid?

290035a292956,292972
DuPont: The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded
  gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric
  distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically
  predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon,
  each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting
  maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the
  defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of
  return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing
  efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63%
  increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an
  adversary not to be taken lightly.

John Preston: Go! [sees another rebel being shot] Go, dammit, go!
Rebel: Don't go! He will shoot us in the back.
John Preston: If I was going to shoot you, I would shoot you in the
  face. Now go!

291313a294251,294254
[last lines]
Clementine: Okay.
Joel: Okay.

291432a294374,294378
Anna, The Camera Store Girl: I'm about to go on my break now. I'm
  going to go behind the store for a cigarette. You want to join me?
Jamie: Well I'm flattered but, I don't smoke.
Anna, The Camera Store Girl: Neither do I.

292070,292071c295016,295022
Victor Shakapopulis: I don't know if you've read my book, "Advanced
  Sexual Positions: How to Achieve Them Without Laughing."

The Operator: Can we please have an erection? What the hell is going
  on down there?

The Operator: Think we're gonna have intercourse tonight?
293010c295961
  trying to pick the lock on his truck]
293032c295983
[Orin sneaks up on T.K. who is watching a drug deal go down]
293041c295992
[T.K. sees Orin enter]
293047a295999,296009
[T. K. Johnson and Latrell Walker coming into a luxury-car
  dealership]
T.K. Johnson: Whoa! This is what I'm talking about, this is what I'm
  talking about.
Latrell Walker: [looks at the silver Bentley Arnage] Nice color.
T.K. Johnson: Yeah, if you're Puffy.

[Orin Boyd arrests Matt Montini, who sees his Dodge Ram with the
  front grill ripped off]
Matt Montini: Oh, I guess the grill was optional.

293575c296537
Goofy: No thanks. I'm saving room for wienies.
293605c296567
Max: We'll dethrone you and your friends, Your Royal LOWNESS.
293609c296571
Tank: Dog boy, am I glad to see you, sweetheart.
293613,293616c296575,296579
[Goofy has walked into Max's classroom in full 70s attire, and Max is
  shocked and horrified]
Max: [muttering] Oh no, oh no, oh -
Bobby: Hey Max, is my vision blurred, or doesn't that guy look like
  your dad?
293618c296581,296582
Max: [grabbing and ringing at Bobby's shoulders] Kill me, just kill
  me now!
293621a296586,296592
Goofy: I'm not gonna be at college to pick up after you. [sadly, to
  his son] In fact, it's gonna be a long time before you see your old
  man again. What, maybe Christmas? [puts his finger up to his eye,
  wiping away a tear]
Max: Ah, Dad, it'll go by fast. [chuckles, then mutters under his
  breath] Not too fast, I hope.

293911a296883,296888
Leo McCarthy: Rollie, tell me those aren't the real medallions.
Rollie Tyler: Yeah, I swithced 'em.
Leo McCarthy: Rollie you idiot, the mob wasn't stealing them, they
  were returning them, to the Vatican.
Rollie Tyler: Nobody told me.

293939c296916
Amarao: Look at that! Medical Mechanica's transporting these
293982c296959
  Mechanica wants! They're flattening planets all over the galaxy...
293996c296973
Amarao: She's just as bad as Medical Mechanica! You're not going to
294003c296980
  off. You wanna come along? [pauses] 'Know what? Forget it. 'Cause
294766a297744,297749
# Fail-Safe (1964)
[last lines]
Brigadier General Warren A. Black: The Matador, the Matador... me...
  me


295283a298267,298271
# Falling Hare (1943)
Bugs Bunny, The Gremlin: [Bugs is about to hit a torpedo with a
  mallet] WHAT AM I DOING?


295616c298604
  shine dim before the blazing of a single thought ...
295618c298606
Dr. Michaels: Very poetic, gentlemen. Let me know when we pass the
295620,295621c298608,298609
Dr. Duval: The soul? The finite mind cannot comprehend infinity - and
  the soul, which comes from God, is infinite.
295624,295625c298612,298613
Dr. Peter Duval: The medieval philosophers were right. Man is the
  center of the universe. We stand in the middle of infinity between
295627a298616,298621
Grant: Wait a minute! They can't shrink me.
General Carter: Our miniaturizer can shrink anything.
Grant: But I don't want to be miniaturized!
General Carter: It's just for an hour.
Grant: Not even for a minute!

296354c299348
[Monica runs Edwin's hand over her breast before the race]
296357c299351
[Edwin races and loses]
296378a299373,299383
[Brian comes into a restaurant]
Mia: Tuna on white. No crust, right?
Brian: I don't know. How is it?
Mia: Every day for the last three weeks you've been coming in here
  and you've been asking me how the tuna is. Now, it was crappy
  yesterday, it was crappy the day before and guess what? It hasn't
  changed.
Brian: I'll have the tuna.
Mia: No crust?
Brian: No crust.

297316a300322,300324
Raoul Duke: [after pulling his car up onto the sidewalk] Is this not
  a reasonable place to park?

299032a302041,302046
Mark: You're going to lose your farm, pal.
Ray Kinsella: Come on, it's so big - I mean, how can you lose
  something so big?
Annie Kinsella: He misplaced the house once.
Ray Kinsella: Yeah, but it turned up two days later, didn't it?

299082c302096
[Bugsy stutters]
299086c302100
[Bugsy stutters some more]
299145c302159
  gratitude] What the hell do you think you're doing? Can you keep a
299160c302174
  *wonderful* zoo - properly - we've got to spoil it in order to
299174c302188
Rollo Lee: Good. - I mean, I know we're not making 20% yet, but, but
299204c302218
[The staff are now all reluctantly wearing animal costumes]
299222c302236
[Vince opens the door and leans halfway into Willa's office]
299227,299228c302241,302242
Vince McCain: [Closes door, but we hear him through it] Yippee.
  [Reopens door and comes in] You know, Willa, uh, you better be
299234c302248
[Vince forgets the time zones when phoning England]
299241c302255
[About the zoo's new owner]
299262c302276
[She wants him to think they'll have sex - eventually]
299269c302283
  have shot]
299281c302295
[Turns to leave]
299296a302311,302318
Vince: I never have to listen to you again, do I? With your "You're
  no son of mine, you miserable little worm! You've been a
  disappointment to me since the day your mother farted you out of
  her womb!"

Rod: I'm going to the shed. Mother always said, when you're naughty,
  you go to the shed. And I've been naughty. God, I'm depressed.

301099a304122,304129
Narrator: [Yuna finished viewing Leblanc's Sphere]
Paine: She got us.
Yuna: Oh, poopie!
Rikku: Yuna! Don't talk like that!
Yuna: I'm just copying you!
Paine: That's nice. And?
Yuna: We're gonna take it back! No one messes with us!

301101c304131
Yuna: Seriously.
301162a304193,304195
Clasko: Oh, no! I can't raise anything without a chocobo!
Paine: You've got your work cut out for you.

301407a304441,304445
Crush: Okay. Squirt here will now give you a rundown of proper
  exiting technique.
Squirt: Good afternoon. We're gonna have a great jump today. Okay,
  first do a hard cutback as you hit the wall. There's a bottom
  curve, so watch out. Remember: rip it, roll it, and punch it.
301409,301410c304447,304449
[to Squirt]
Marlin: Look, you're really cute, but I can't understand what you're
  saying. say the first thing again.
301420c304459
[the fish have managed to roll into the ocean in their plastic bags]
301524a304564,304570
Marlin: Hey. Guess what? Sea turtles? I met one, and he was a hundred
  and fifty years old.
Nemo: Oh. Sandy Plankton said that they only live to be a hundred.
Marlin: Sandy Plankton? You think I would travel the whole ocean and
  not know as much as Sandy Plankton? He was a hundred and fifty, not
  a hundred.

301605c304651,304656
Gill: From this moment on, you shall now be known as Sharkbait.
Bloat, Gurgle, Bubbles: Sharkbait! Hoo ha ha!
Gill: Welcome, Brother Sharkbait!
Bloat, Gurgle, Bubbles: Sharkbait! Hoo ha ha!
Gill: Enough with the Sharkbait.
Gurgle: Sharkbait! Hoo... bop pa doo.
301682a304734,304736
Marlin: The dropoff? They're going to the dropoff? What - what are
  you insane? Why not just fry them up now and serve them with chips?

301856c304910,304913
Dory: Who is it?
Marlin: Dory, help me find a way out!
Dory: [to Bruce] Sorry. Could you come back later? We're trying to
  escape.
301984a305042,305057
Marlin: Well, when you asked for an ocean view, I bet you didn't
  expect the whole ocean. [deep breath] A fish can breathe out here.
  Did your man deliver, or did he deliver?
Coral: My man delivered.
Marlin: Didn't think I could get it, did you?
Coral: Because a lot of other clownfish had their eyes on this place.

Bloat: Uh oh. Darla.
Nemo: What's wrong with her?
Gurgle: It's her present from last year. [Close up of the dead fish
  in the photo]
Bubbles: Poor Chuckles.
Deb: She wouldn't stop shaking the bag.
Bloat: Took a ride on the porcelain express. [Dentist flushes toilet]
Peach: She's a fish killer!

302096a305170,305171
Mike Rogers: They took him.

302520c305595
  army truck. Blew up a gas station the other side of town.
302525c305600,305601
Rambo: Don't look at me, look at the road! That's how accidents
  happen.
307564a310641,310655
[giving Gloria a rape alarm, a can of MACE and a knuckleduster]
Stella: Take these. Without them, you are a walking light-bulb...
  waiting to be screwed.

[Ethel and Elsie are playing Scrabble. Ethel has just put down the
  letters "-ucker", to which Elsie has added "muther-"]
Ethel: Wait, Elsie. I think you're wrong. I think you spell that word
  with a hyphen.

Tony Carlson: I play Detective. You play Lady In Distress.
Gloria Mundy: Hey, wait a minute. It's *my* ass they're after.
Tony Carlson: I'm sorry. You're right. That was a stupid, glib,
  chauvinist remark and I apologise. It *is* your ass they're after,
  and it's my job to see to it that... I get there first.

308322a311414,311415
The Creature: Monster: I'd keep my promises if I were you.

308752a311846,311858
Tess (as Annabell): Mom, maybe we should go to the emergency from.
Annabell (as Tess): Oh no! All that will get us is a 72-hour lockdown
  in a psych ward and a Thorazine drip. No, we're not going anywhere.

Tess (as Annabell): So you're in my body, and I'm in your body. Why
  don't we, like...
Annabell (as Tess): Yes, yes, I see what you're saying. A jolt! Okay,
  you go over there, and I go over here. Okay, when I say go. Ready?
  Go! [they both bump heads and fall to the ground while Harry walks
  into the room]

Peg: Aren't you like the maid of horror or something?

309001c312107
Freddy Krueger: Tilt!
309009,309010c312115,312117
Freddy Krueger: Penny for your thoughts, chief?
[Jason grabs him and pushes his throat to the machete]
Freddy Krueger: Oh, scary.
309232,309237d312338
310850c313951
Jimmy: Hey, Ted, where's that corkscrew? You know, that fancy
310852c313953,313954
  hell is the corkscrew?
[Jason shoves it into Jimbo's hand]
310856c313958
Mrs. Jarvis: Someone left the front door open again.
310858c313960
Mrs. Jarvis: Well, what happens if the psycho wanders in?
314805a317908,317918
[from trailer]
Garfield: [Jon slips on a purple ball and nearly destroys everything
  in sight] There's my ball.

[from trailer]
Jon Arbuckle: Look, a mouse. Get it, Garfield.
Garfield: [Garfield looks at the mouse] Get it, Jon.

[from trailer]
Garfield: My life has been saved by the miracle of lasagna

316460a319574,319593
[Jack Carter comes on the golf field, steps on the ball and rolls it
  into hole]
Jack Carter: Nice stroke.
Golfer: Who do fuck are you?
Jack Carter: Tiger Woods.

Eddie: Jack, don't kill me, man.
Jack Carter: You killed yourself.
[Jack Carter drops him off the balcony]

[Jack Carter comes with Geraldine in Jeremy Kinnear's office and sees
  his bodyguard Jimmy]
Jeremy Kinnear: Oh, don't worry about Jimmy. He's... He's more here
  for decoration.

Jack Carter: So, what's your name?
Jeremy Kinnear: Jeremy Kinnear. Maybe you read about me in Forbes.
Jack Carter: No, I don't do that, Jeremy. So, what do you telling me,
  you're bucks up?

318364c321497
Luther Heggs: Calm? Do "murder" and "calm" go together? Calm and
318374a321508,321515
Halcyon Maxwell: Why Milo, you didn't finish your tapioca. No wonder
  you have a nervous stomach.

voice: Atta boy, Luther.

Mrs. Cobb: [while describing the blood-stained keys on the piano] And
  they used Bon Ami!

319545a322687,322688
Jason: Come and get some candy!

321903c325046
Clemenza: Leave the gun. [Pause] Take the canolis
324381a327525,327536
# Good Earth, The (1937)
O-Lan: When I go back in that house, it will be with my son in my
  arms. I'll have a red coat on him... and red flower trousers... and
  a hat with a gilded Buddha and tiger-faced shoes, and I'll go into
  the kitchen where I spent my days as a slave and into the great
  hall where the old mistress sits with her pipe, and I'll show
  myself and my son to all of them.
O-Lan: [Smiles, contented] Hmm.
Wang Lung: Well... Now, I... I haven't heard you speak so many words
  since you came to this house.


324858a328014,328017
Babe Doolittle: I've been studying psychology. I've got a split
  personality!
Beef: Well, if anyone comes near you, they'll be a split-personality!

328299a331459,331463
# Grave, The (1996)
Travis: What's the last place anybody would look for a dead body? A
  grave, right?


328517a331682,331684
Rizzo: [while putting on make-up] I've got so many hickies, people
  are gonna think I'm a leper.

328690,328691c331857,331858
Commander Shutz: How's the gas?
A Jewish barber: Terrible, it kept me awake all night.
328699,328700c331866,331867
Field Marshal Herring: We've just discovered the most wonderful, the
  most marvelous poisinous gas. It will kill everybody.
328702c331869
Commander Shutz: Heil Hynk... Oh what am I saying?
329470a332638,332639
John the Baptist: REPENT!

331531a334701,334703
Phil: This is Nancy Taylor, she makes sounds like a chipmunk when she
  gets really excited.

332425a335598,335599
Sky Masterson: Daddy, I got cider in my ear

332666,332670c335840,335844
  that mean you're into dudes with fuckin' long hair, smell like
  beer, have shitty tattoos; maybe they hang out at the bowling
  alley. Maybe, just maybe you'll go out back and rub their sick
  crotch. He'll stick his hands down your pants. Meanwhile, your
  boyfriend's at home jerkin off to fuckin' gay porn.
332677c335851
Valo: Did she just say "teenagers were meant to fuck"?
332916a336091,336093
Mr. Pinky: Fatty, fatty, two-by-four. Can't get through the dressing
  room door?

333628c336805
Deputy Tom: Definitely not funny! Somebody could be dead right now!
333640c336817
  girl, Jamie. Jamie, you're nine years old. What do you think he's
333645a336823,336826
[to nine-year-old Jaime]
Dr. Samuel Loomis: You must help me! Your tears will do you no good!
  He must be stopped!

335176c338357
[Donnie suddenly pushes her client off the bed]
335183c338364
[sending a kid off with a couple of prostitutes]
335186a338368,338379
Carver: Mr. Bartel was disappointed to find out you turned down his
  offer.

Kanning: Got a lot of parts on me, ain't working like they used to.

Sheriff: This is a quiet town, and we'd like to keep it that way.

Donnie: Honey, it ain't about you.

Donnie: If you're gonna treat me like a whore, you're gonna pay me
  like a whore.

335476a338670,338680
# Hard Hunted (1992)
Kane: So our little hummingbird becomes a whore.

Nicole Justin: Looks like we've got company.

Edy Stark: Even James Bond takes time out for sex.

[to a sleazy double-agent]
Donna Hamilton: We were never lovers! I faked an orgasm!


335527,335528c338731,338738
Pik van Cleaf: I don't get angry.
[holds up his shotgun]
Pik van Cleaf: I'm a professional.

[after blasting a bad guy]
Chance Boudreaux: Sorry about your shirt.

Emil Fouchon: Careless and stupid and now you're sorry, too?
335763c338973,338980
Angry Bob: [on radio] Kill! Kill! Kill! Today's death count is 578.

Jill: It's stupid, sadistic and suicidal to have children right now.

Shades: It's my heart - it feels like an alligator.

Moses Baxter: Machines don't understand sacrifice - neither do
  morons.
335807,335808c339024,339025
Elmer J. Fudd: [disguised as Bugs Bunny] I may be a scwewy wabbit,
  but I'm not going to Alcatwaz!
336619a339837,339846
Tom Marvolo Riddle: He certainly kept an annoyingly close watch on me
  after that!


# Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
[from trailer]
Harry Potter: Messers Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, offer
  their compliments to Professor Snape and request that he keep his
  abnormally large nose out of other people's business.

337311a340539,340547
U. S. Marshal Nicole Torson: She's an all-around dangerous woman.

[explaining why she's covered with blood]
Amy Peelman: I was at a club - must have been too close to a
  fistfight.

Herbert Peelman: How many times do I have to tell you? Never in the
  eye! Your just cost us a lot of money!

337539a340776,340784
# Haunting of Morella, The (1990)
Gideon: I still cannot bring myself to utter that name.

Coel: One more feeding, my love, and you'll be fully resurrected.

Morella: My flesh needs sustenance, and your life shall fill that
  need.


337907a341153,341164
# Head Cheerleader Dead Cheerleader (2000) (V)
Coach Elaine Riley: Be careful tonight, Heather - I can't afford to
  lose my head cheerleader before the big game tomorrow.

The Voice: Mmmm, just what I like, fresh cheerleader - sounds like a
  new Ben & Jerry's flavor.

Heather Connelly: Don't mess with me, Coach, I'm a *cheerleader*!

Cheerleaders: Two four six eight, who should we decapitate!


339655a342913,342915
Bobby Blane: Your weight and your fate, right here. Your weight and
  your fate.

339741a343002,343009
# Hell's Highway (2002/II) (V)
Lucindia Polonia: Now it's *your* turn to die!

Jack: I have a part that you'd be perfect for.

Monique: This is the worst trip ever!


339748,339751c343016,343026
[Calvin is examining a body]
Calvin Jackson: Oh shit! His heart's gone!
[Frank reassuringly points to a corner of the room]
Frank Shatter: No it isn't. It's right there...

[Looking out his hotel window at the ancient marketplace]
Calvin Jackson: We're in the middle of a damn swap meet!

Lockley: I'm Prosatanos, your passage to eternity!

Leslie: That which he covets will prove to be his demise!
339926a343202,343229
# Hellfire (1995/I) (TV)
Baron Jean Octavie: Die for me, my pet, that we both may be reborn.

Julien: Why can't we have a bit of cheerful Italian music, like
  everyone else?

Julien: That man and his damned symphony, or me!

[Carlotta, jumping into Marius' bed before she possesses Gabrielle's
  body]
Carlotta: I can't wait!

Marius Carnot: It's as though the music were buried in my soul.

Constable: This is not Paris, madam... I don't need any evidence.


# Hellmaster (1992)
Joel Johnson: When do you have time for the CRIPPLE?

Joel Johnson: My handicap was born, yours was chosen.

Shelly O'Deane: These THINGS are controlled by drugs!

Professor Jones: If God created this world in six days, and I can
  make hell of it in one night, then God must be dead.


340099c343402
The Priest: Demons aren't real... they're metaphors!
340105c343408
  bitch? Have you seen?
340109a343413,343415
Pinhead: I am offering you a place at my right hand - flesh, power,
  dominion.

340164a343471,343477
# Hellroller (1992)
Eugene's Aunt: I should have aborted you!

Michelle Novak: I do it with men, not apes! Why don't you get
  yourself a rubber doll?


340732a344046,344053
Otis: I'd like to kill somebody.

Otis: Where you going?
Henry: Nowhere - you wanna come?

Henry: Guns are easy to get... I can make a phone call and get a gun.
  - anybody can get a gun, Otis.

341299a344621,344624
Sheik Riyadh: [after seeing his daughter in a questionable position
  with Frank Hopkins; talking of his punishment while hold a very
  sharp knife] Like a stallion

341552a344878,344881
Yosemite Sam: [Sam realizes Bugs has placed a door on the diving
  board] Open this door! [starts banging on the door] Notice I didn't
  say "Richard".

342834c346163
Devon: Hold on, wait a minute. Feminine side? Hold on, whoa!
342847c346176
Devon: Hold on, wait a minute. Feminine side? Hold on, whoa!
342856a346186,346189
[wearing a Nefertiti hat]
Jessica: I can't compete with this. I can't take this emotional
  blackmail.

343270a346604,346611
Showering woman: Your bare torso was most unattractive.

Blind date: Enough with the breasts! I'll kill you!

Phone Sex Operator: You remind me of a serial killer.

Phone Sex Operator: I'm in no mood to have my breasts pawed at.

343308a346650,346654
[after killing a bunch of thugs]
Chris Garret: Welcome to my world.

Chris Garret: Running from your fear is more painful than facing it.

343657c347003
Ferdie: From now on, don't wait for me to say "Oh, Chuck!" Get in
343667c347013
Ted Lewis: Is everybody happy?
343673a347020,347022
Camille: [after tasting the soup] Like mother used to make... It
  stinks!

344654a348004,348025
Harry: [knocks on the back door] Merry Christmas little fella. We
  know that you're in there, and that you're all alone.
Marv: Hey come on kid, open up. It's Santy Claus... and his elf!
Harry: [snickers] We're not gonna hurt you.
Marv: Oh no, no, we got some nice presents for you.
Harry: [As Kevin sticks the BB gun barrel through the dog door and
  aims at Harry's groin] Be a good little boy and open the door.
Harry: [Kevin shoots Harry in the groin with the BB gun, causing him
  to fall over in pain]
Marv: What? What? What happened?
Harry: Get the little- oogh! [mutters incomprehensibly as Marv goes
  back and sticks his head through the dog door]
Kev: [Pointing the BB gun in Marv's face as he sticks his head
  through the dog door] Hello.
Marv: [Kevin shoots Marv in the face with the BB gun, making him pull
  his head back out of the dog door and yell in pain] The little jerk
  is armed!
Kev: Yyyess! Yes! Yes yes yes yes! [Runs off to prepare the next
  trap]
Harry: That's it, that's it! I'll go through the front, you go down
  the basement! [storms off swearing under his breath]

345448,345450d348818
345902a349271,349276
# Hookers In a Haunted House (1999)
Bag Job: Back in my day the women were *born* old, ugly and scary.

Alex: Beam me up, Scotty! There's no life on Planet Impotent!


346158,346160c349532,349534
Clive Rowen: [to his son Bill] This isn't going to make much sense
  now, but one day you'll be a man and... [he produces a cricket
  ball] ...this is how to bowl a googly.
346288a349663,349667
# HorrorTales.666 (2003) (V)
Shrewish wife: You told me you were going to kill her and get the
  money!


346463a349843,349855
# Horseplayer (1990)
George Samsa: Why should I knock myself out over you?

Randi: I'm beginning to feel like your whore.

Bud Cowan: I play the horses, and that's my only vice.

Randi: Sex is not a vice.

Matthew: If you don't come to dinner you'll regret it for the rest of
  your life.


347231a350624,350627
# Hourglass (1995)
Dara Jensen: Are you ready for my tongue?


347613a351010,351026
Captain Spaulding: Howdy Folks! You like blood? Violence? Freaks of
  nature? Well then come on down to Captain Spaulding's Museum of
  Monsters and Mad-Men. See the Alligator Boy, ride my famous Murder
  Ride. Most of all, dont forget to take home some of my tasty fried
  chicken! HaHa! It just tastes so damn good!

Baby: There once was a woman who lived with her daughter in a cabbage
  garden; along came a rabbit and ate up all the cabbages; the woman
  said, "Go into the garden and drive out the rabbit."

Baby: You know we like to get fucked up?
Goober: Yeah I lile to get fucked up to!
Baby: Yeah I'll bet you do

Mother: My baby boy gets shy around new people, but he'll warm up to
  you, especially the girls! [laughs] He's a real lady KILLER!

349177a352591,352622
# Howling V: The Rebirth (1989) (V)
[to a werewolf who sneaks into her room as she pulls up her pants]
Gail: This is VERY rude!

Dr. Catherine Peake: It can't be an animal - no animal kills for
  pleasure.

David: We're puppets, and *The Count* is pulling the strings.

The Count: Werewolf! The prophecy is fulfilled!

Marylou Summers: No! This can't be happening!

Peter: There is an ancient Hungarian proverb: "Check the one who
  looks innocent!"


# Howling VI: The Freaks (1991) (V)
R.B Harker: You're the worst kind of freak, one who tries to control
  it.

R.B Harker: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to meet the devil!

[as The Alligator Boy]
Winston: But I don't wanna look like this!

[Ian, a werewolf, is exhibited as part of a freak show]
Ian: You see, Sheriff, I'm the new entertainment.

Dewey: Satan's work shall not go unpunished!


349735a353181,353188
# Human Shield, The (1991)
Tanzi: Insults here can only be washed away with blood.

Doug Matthews: You'll die in hell!

Lila Haddilh: To my husband, revenge is sacred, and hatred noble.


350273c353726
Capt. Vasili Borodin: Captain, I - I - I just...
350281a353735,353739
Jack Ryan: Would it be possible for you to get me on board the
  Dallas?
Admiral Josh Painter: What the hell for?
Jack Ryan: I believe that Captain Mancuso has found the Red October.

351772,351773c355230,355231
Dr Hugo Wagner: But the boy is so young, the transformation horrible
  -
351776a355235,355243
Det. Sgt. Donovan: It's not for man to interfere in the ways of God.

Dr Alfred Brandon: I'm going to TRANSFORM him, and unleash the savage
  instincts that lie hidden within... and then I'll be judged the
  benefactor. Mankind is on the verge of destroying itself. The only
  hope for the human race is to hurl it back into its primitive norm,
  to start all over again. What's one life compared to such a
  triumph?

352185a355653,355659
# Ice (1994)
Malta: Some of my men were killed tonight, and I'm hurting here.

Det. Little: It's illegal to steal, no matter who you're doing it
  for.


353296a356771,356784
# Illegal Entry: Formula for Fear (1993)
Adam Wright: I wish he was dead - I wish they *all* were dead

Adam Wright: All those people dead - it was *you* all the time!

[comforting Tracie, whose parents were just slain]
Pamela Raby: Well, what's done is done.

Tracie Gambit: What's wrong? My mother and father were killed in
  front of me! My best friend and my aunt were shot because of this
  formula! It just doesn't make any sense! Dad only wanted to do
  good, and now everybody's dead!


353835a357324,357346
# Improper Conduct (1994)
Michael Miller: Ashley, what makes you such a tease?

Frost: My son-in-law is a churchgoing man.

Defense Attorney: Do you engage in sex in public places with ALL your
  friends?

Emily: You should be ashamed!

Emily: You will NEVER see the baby!

Kurtis: He's gonna hurt somebody else, isn't he?

Jo Ann: You promised me that assistant position if I testified on
  your behalf!

Sam: If you think what this guy's about is sex, you're wrong. His
  game is power - power over women!

Kay: I'm doing what I have to do.


353928,353931c357439,357442
Johnny: Are you in love with her?
Mateo: No... I'm in love with you. And I'm in love with your
  beautiful woman. And I'm in love with your children, I'm even in
  love with your anger. I'm in love with everything that's living.
354624a358136,358141
# In the Heat of Passion (1992)
Lee Adams: Don't you know that shrinks are the craziest people?

Lee Adams: Show me what a BAD girl I've been.


355150a358668,358678
# Inbred Rednecks (2001)
Clovis: She's got legs from her ass to the floor.

Cashier: Oh my God, I've died and gone to a redneck hell!

Sheriff: Let's get the ass-whuppin' started!

Sidekick with beer gut: A guy walkin' around here with an attitude,
  just because he's a midget!


355621a359150,359153
Patricia Whitmore: [speaking to her mother on the telephone] Daddy
  let me watch Letterman.
President Thomas Whitmore: Traitor.

356115c359647
Chattar Lal: Dr. Jones, in our country, it's not usual for a guest to
356415a359948,359957
# Inner Sanctum II (1994)
Sharon Reed: I don't FEEL like being pleasant!

Jennifer Reed: They're not like drams - they're more like horror
  movies.

Detective Hooper: If being broke was a crime, this guy would be doing
  life.


356556a360099,360108
# Inside Out (1992) (V)
Terry: No part of me's a woman!

Husband: You can touch her - she won't mind.

The Psychiatrist: I wanted every man to want me.

Terri: I can't believe I'm doing this.


356999a360552,360560
# Intent to Kill (1993) (V)
Al: We live together, we work together - we gotta die together?

Captain Jackson: And what was YOUR intent? To kill?

[immediately before 'he' kills her]
Mia: I'm gonna tell him how you treat me!


357615a361177,361195
# Intimate Deception (1997) (V)
Jennifer: Most beautiful things tend to have a bite to them.

Jennifer: No matter what, thank you for tonight.

Tina: I look at myself as an essential ingredient in the art of
  creation.

Tina: Believe me, I have a way of making a man scream.

Tina: It's not safe to talk to strangers - it's much safer to kill
  'em.

John: Let's just say I have an entrepreneurial spirit.

Charlie: Stay away from me, Bob, or I promise I will give you a
  reason to hate me.


358072a361653,361662
# Invasion of the Space Preachers (1990)
Nova: Now will you teach me?

Rick Lowery: This is our week away from our weenie world.

Vic 20: Real artists use black velvet.

Walter Bennet: Oh no, there's mouse doo-doo in the cereal!


358277a361868,361880
# Invisible Maniac, The (1990)
Kevin Dornwinkle: I'm injecting the serum into the bunny rabbit now.

Kevin Dornwinkle: I was inexplicably drawn to the girls locker room.

Vicky: I need an A to graduate, and I'd be willing to do *anything*.

Mrs. Cello: If you want to go to college, all you have to do is make
  me feel like a woman.

Mrs. Dorwinkle: You filthy stinking pervert!


358414,358415c362017,362018
Mark: Am I ugly to you? With my big nose?
Teacher Hei: No. Your face is just... very 3-dimensional.
358417,358419c362020,362022
Teacher Hei: When you have a visitor in China, at first you offer him
  tea and something to eat.
Mark: Oh, sorry. Here you are.
358428c362031
Teacher Hei: You must master each stroke before you go on. Otherwise
358430c362033,362035
Teacher Mark: Tell me about it. Everything I touch turns to so-so.

Qingfu Pan: In martial arts, you hit with the eyes.
363589a367195,367200
Del Gue: Ain't that Hatchet Jack's rifle?
Jeremiah Johnson: Yep. Found him froze to a tree.
Del Gue: Damn! He was a wild one, old Hatchet Jack. He was livin' two
  year in a cave up on the Musselshell with a female panther. She
  never did get used to him.

364502a368114,368117
# Jetblast (2001)
The Captain: Get me out of these wet panties.


364651a368267,368268
Jack Colton: It's looking more like 90-10, eh Kumquat?

367553a371171,371174
Odin: I want you to bring me back his ring finger, please.

Dragon: He's done - let him live a straw life.

367868a371490,371493
Lew Dodgson: I told you not to say my name in public.
Dennis Nedry: Dodgson! Dodgson! We've got Dodgson here! See nobody
  cares.

369442a373068,373072
Leopold: Do you require a chaperone? His intentions are obvious.
Kate: We're together, and we don't have a chaperone.
Leopold: Yes, but we are not courting. If I did have affections for
  you, as a man of honor, I would tell you of them in writing.

370525c374155
Bill: Do you find me sadistic? You know, I bet I could fry an egg on
370528,370529c374158,374162
  in my actions. Well, maybe towards those other... jokers, but not
  you. No Kiddo, at this moment, this is me at my most... [cocks
  pistol] masochistic.
The Bride: Bill... it's your baby...
[BLAM!]
370534,370537c374167,374174
The Bride: No. To get even? Even-Steven? I would have to kill you, go
  upstairs to little Nikki's room, kill her, then wait for the good
  Doctor Bell to come home, and kill him. THAT'd be even. That'd be
  about square.

The Bride: Go-Go, I know you feel you must protect your mistress. But
  I beg you, walk away now.
[Go-Go giggles girlishly]
370552,370558c374189,374196
Hattori Hanzo: [Serious, switches to Japanese] What do you want with
  Hattori Hanzo?
The Bride: [Japanese] I need Japanese steel.
Hattori Hanzo: [Japanese] Why do you need Japanese steel?
The Bride: [Japanese] I have vermin to kill.
Hattori Hanzo: [English] You must have big rats if you need Hattori
  Hanzo's steel.
The Bride: [English]... Huge.
370606,370607d374243
370614,370615c374250,374251
The Bride: This is what you get for fucking around with Yakuzas! Go
  home to your mother!
370637,370641c374273,374279
Buck: [the Bride flashes back to her coma] Jane Doe huh? Oh, we don't
  know shit about you. Well I'm from Huntsville, Texas... My name is
  Buck and I'm here to fuck.
[back to the present]
The Bride: Your name is Buck, right? And you came here to fuck,
  right?
Buck: Wait a minute, wait... [she kills him]
370662c374300
The Bride: [in Japanese] O-ren Ishii! You and I have unfinished
370668c374306,374307
Bill: One more thing, Sofie... is she aware her daughter is still
  alive?
370744c374383,374453
Hattori Hanzo: Funny, you like samurai swords... I like baseball.

Earl McGraw: Well, give me the gory details, Son Number One.
Edgar McGraw: It's a goddamn massacre, Pop. They wiped out the whole
  wedding party, execution-style.
Earl McGraw: Give me a figure.
Edgar McGraw: Nine dead bodies. And we're talking the whole shebang:
  Bride, Groom, Reverend, Reverend's wife... hell, they even shot
  that old colored fella that plays the organ.
Earl McGraw: It would appear someone objected to this union and
  wasn't able to hold their peace.

Edgar McGraw: What'd I tell you, Pop? It's like a goddamn Nicaraguan
  death squad.
Earl McGraw: You'd better shit-can that blasphemy, boy. You're in a
  house of worship.

Earl McGraw: Well, this is definitely the work of professionals. I'd
  guess-timate Mexican Mafia hit squad. Four, maybe five strong.
Edgar McGraw: How can you tell?
Earl McGraw: Well a sure and steady hand did this. This ain't no
  squirrelly amateur. This is the work of a salty dog. You can tell
  by the cleanliness of the carnage. Now a kill-crazy rampage though
  it may be, all the colors are kept within the lines. If you was a
  moron, you could almost admire it.

Earl McGraw: Who's the bride?
Edgar McGraw: Don't know. The name on the marriage certificate is
  "Arlene Machiavelli." That's a fake. We've all just been calling
  her "The Bride" on account of the dress.
Earl McGraw: You can tell she was pregnant. Man'd have to be a mad
  dog to shoot a goddamn good-looking gal like that in the head. Look
  at her. Hay-colored hair, big eyes. She's a little blood-spattered
  angel.

[looking at the Bride in her coma]
Buck: Price is seventy-five dollars a fuck, my friend. You getting
  your freak on, or what?
Trucker: Oh yeah, boy. [gives Buck the money]
Buck: Now here are the rules. Rule Number One: no punching her. The
  nurse comes in tomorrow and she got her a shiner or less some
  teeth, jig's up. So no knuckle sandwiches under no circumstances.
  And by the way, this little cunt's a spitter. It's a motor-reflex
  thing. But spit or no, no punching. Now are we absolutely,
  positively clear on Rule Number One?
Trucker: Yeah.
Buck: Good. Now, Rule Number Two: no monkey bites, and no hickeys. In
  fact, no leaving no marks of any kind on her. After that, it's all
  good, buddy. Now her plumbing down there don't work no more, so
  feel free to come in her all you want. Keep the noise down, try not
  to make a mess. I'll be back in twenty.
[Buck starts to leave, but snaps his fingers and turns back]
Buck: Oh, shit! By the way, not every time but sometimes this chick's
  cooch will get drier than a bucket of sand. If she dry, just lube
  up with this, [tosses him a jar of Vaseline] and you'll be good to
  go. Bon Appetite, good buddy.

The Bride: [English] I've kept you alive for two reasons. And the
  first reason is information.
Sofie Fatale: [French] Burn in hell, you stupid, stupid blonde! I'll
  tell you nothing!
The Bride: [English] But I am gonna ask you questions. And every time
  you don't give me answers, I'm gonna cut something off. And I
  promise you, they will be things you will miss.

Bill: Sofie, Sofie, my Sofie. I'm so sorry.
Sofie Fatale: Please... please forgive my betrayal.
Bill: No more of that.
Sofie Fatale: But still...
Bill: But still nothing. Nothing, except my aching heart, at what
  she's done to my beautiful and brilliant Sofie.
371062c374771
Budd: Customers wear hats.
371064a374774,374776
Budd: I don't dodge guilt... and I don't Jew out of paying my
  comeuppance.

371080a374793,374806
# Kill Zone (1993)
Sheriff: It's payback time!

Waranya: We are peaceful people, but we want the NVA out of our
  country.

ARVN Capt. Tan Sau Thuy: You think you are God!

Col. Horace Wiggins: These people aren't even human!

Col. Horace Wiggins: Send a message to Charley - the beast is in the
  bush... and he's hungry!


371174a374901,374940
# Killer Sex Queens from Cyberspace (1998) (V)
Virtual Cassandra: I'm always here for you, baby.

[points to her breasts]
PJ: These were not designed to flip burgers.

Danny Fangorelli: Wow! Computerized hookers!

Aloysius Franklin: It can fry your motherboard.

Aloysius Franklin: Quite frankly, it's the safest sex you can buy.

Lou Lou: Come take a ride on the Lou-Lou Express!


# Killer Shrews, The (1959)
[while hiding under oil drums, the refugees are attacked by gigantic
  shrews]
Thorne Sherman: Don't let their head get under! They'll flip us over!

Dr. Radford Baines: Hematoxic syndrome - it must be hematoxic
  syndrome.

Jerry Farrell: In my book engagement isn't a casual thing.

[picking up a torn jacket]
Thorne Sherman: They don't leave much, do they?

Dr. Milo Craigis: Their available food on ze island is nearing
  depletion!

Jerry Farrell: Looks like a rat, smells like a skunk - some call them
  bone-eaters.

Dr. Radford Baines: Just ripped my trousers, that's all.
[collapses dead]

Thorne Sherman: Why, that's as big as a full-grown wolf!


371201a374968,374975
# Killer! (1989)
Serial killer: You see, I'm going to slice off bite-sized pieces of
  your body, and I'm going to eat them - sometimes raw, sometimes
  cooked - until you're completely consumed.

Uncle Walt: Young and in love... makes me wanna throw up.


371963c375737
  you are you, oh Master, Our King of the Universe that gives us the
371969,371971c375743,375745
  oh Master, Our King of the Universe that gives us the wine, fruit
  of the Vineyard. Take, drink, therefore this is my blood that will
  be spilled by many for the pardon of the sins.
372364a376139,376142
Hades: Hold it! How you're doin' everybody? Hades, Lord of the Dead
  nice to see ya! Hey. Guess what? I've got a place for you to go
  down UNDER!

373351a377130,377136
# Knight Rider 2000 (1991) (TV)
[Shawna and Maddock are leaving, when Maddock spots Michael's Chevy
  on a security camera]
F.L.A.G. Security Guard: A Beauty, isn't she.
Russell Maddock: Yeah, and not a mark on her. This is a recording.


373947c377732
  peasants and beggars. Goodbye!
373952c377737
Prince Colwyn: Well, that depends.
373963,373965d377747
373980,373983d377761
374005c377783
Eirig: I didn't choose this marriage, Turold.
374031c377809
Prince Colwyn: I don't think I like your relatives, old man.
374046c377824
Ynyr: Yes... Yes, each to his fate.
374073c377851
Princess Lyssa: Colwyn, hurry back to me.
374084c377862
Ynyr: For now, beyond your reach.
374098,374100c377876,377878
Ynyr: Well, I too was young once. I too loved as you do. But your
  love will be luckier than mine. What I told you was that I knew how
  to find the fortress and that is by seeking the vision of the blind
374103c377881
Ynyr: It is known to me. It is a day's journey from here. Come.
374117,374118c377895,377896
Torquil: Well what have we here? A fighter?
Prince Colwyn: Besides you're short by about ninety men.
374126,374127c377904,377905
Ergo: Rell, I'll ride with you.
Rell the Cyclops: I have to stay here, my friend.
374148c377926
Titch: We're in sight of the trees, brother.
374153c377931
Merith: Well what?
374155c377933
Merith: Her village burned down, she had nowhere to go do I took her
374158c377936
Merith: Look at her again and I'll throw her out.
374161c377939
Merith: Yeah.
374175,374178c377953,377958
Velta: My master says make him betray her. If not, then kill him.
  Yes, he is my master. These talons were a heartbeat away from your
  throat. I could've killed you in an instant... but in the hour that
  I knew you, I loved you.

Rell the Cyclops: There is one who might help - The Widow of the Web.
374263c378043,378045
Kull: Now you're telling me?

Kull: With this axe, I rule!
374524a378307,378312
# Kurenai no buta (1992)
Porco Rosso: A pig that doesn't fly is just a pig.

Porco Rosso: I'd rather be a pig than a fascist.


376314a380103,380104
Sheriff Hank Keough: Oh God, we forgot to pack feminine napkins!

376594a380385,380388
# Lap Dancing (1995)
Angie Parker: I need more than just missionary-with-the-lights-off!


377123c380917
Lt. Governor: Slater, here's what I...
377652a381447,381467
Mulhall: We'd better catch that train.
Budduskey: We still got time for a beer.
Mulhall: Now wait a minute, man.
Seaman Meadows: I ain't old enough.
Budduskey: Ain't old enough for what?
Seaman Meadows: For a beer.
Budduskey: Everybody's old enough for a beer. Ain't that right, Mule?
Mulhall: Yeah.

Budduskey: One time... when I was... Oh Jesus Christ...! A friend of
  mine was looking for me. And I was up on top of his car and I
  pissed on his head... Just being crazy, you know what I mean?
Mulhall: Don't you get crazy with me.

Budduskey: He looks like a goddamn big penguin, don't he?

Young Whore: Jesus Christ! That's what I call quick.

Mulhall: Chant your ass off, kid, but any pussy you get in this world
  you're gonna have to pay for, one way or another.

378540c382355
  modern... And now we are awake. We have railroads and cannon and
378543a382359,382360
Algren: Are you a ladies man, Bob?

379661a383479,383487
[after receiving a "special favor" from Christian]
Quinn: You're not worried about Elizabeth coming in?
Christian Markelli: Elizabeth? My roommate's Julie.
Quinn: I'm here for a date with Elizabeth.
Christian Markelli: Elizabeth lives in 243D, as in "down the walk".
  This is 243B... as in "blow job". You're not St8Curious from AOL?
Quinn: No.
Christian Markelli: [laughing] Not again.

379916c383742
  frail that set my underwear creeping up on me like it had legs."
380007a383834,383839
Mrs. Chalk: But surely you must have some suspicion. Who work the
  heist rackets in this territory?
Policeman: Beg your pardon, lady?
Mrs. Chalk: Oh really! I can't make myself much plainer. Which
  hoodlums around here specialise in toby jobs?

380154c383986
Auda abu Tayi: I am Auda abu Tayi! Does Auda serve?
380156c383988
Auda abu Tayi: Does Auda abu Tayi serve?
380158c383990
Auda abu Tayi: [to Lawrence] I carry twenty-three great wounds, all
380166c383998
Auda abu Tayi: No.
380168c384000
Auda abu Tayi: No!
380172c384004
Auda abu Tayi: Thy mother mated with a scorpion.
381332a385165,385167
Ben Sanderson: We could get prime rib. They got it on sale for $2.99.
  I love that dress.

382047a385883,385885
Paulette: So What does this Vivian got that you don't got, three
  tits?

382351a386190,386251
# Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, The (2002) (VG)
[in Ganon's room at Forsaken Fortress]
Ganondorf: It's been a while, boy. You have done well to sneak into
  my fortress and wriggle your way all the way up here. I suppose the
  least I can do is commend you for your reckless courage. My name is
  Ganondorf... And I am the master of Forsaken Fortress.
[Link cries out in surprise]
Ganondorf: By the way, boy... When you drew that sword of yours out
  of its pedestal... Did you by chance notice how all the monsters
  frozen in time down there suddenly began stirring again? Do you
  understand precisely what that means?... I highly doubt you do.
  Foolish child. While that sword is indeed the blade of evil's bane,
  at the same time, it has long played another role... You see, it is
  also a sort of key... a most wretched little key that has kept a
  seal on me and my magic intact! By withdrawing the blade, you have
  broken that seal...
[Link's eyes grow wide - he lunges for Ganon with the Master Sword
  and is quickly deflected - Ganon draws his own sword]
Ganondorf: You cannot defeat me with a blade that does not sparkle
  with the power to repel evil! What you hold is useless. Go back to
  the world below, and tell that to the pathetic fools who made this
  blade! Its power is gone, and its edges are dull!

[Inside Ganon's room at Ganon's Tower]
[Link walks cautiously toward a bed surrounded in drapery and sees
  that Zelda is lying in the bed, with Ganon sitting next to her]
Ganondorf: Do you sleep still? Wait! Do not be so hasty, boy... I can
  see this girl's dreams... Oceans... Oceans... Oceans... Oceans...
  Oceans as far as the eye can see. They are vast seas... None can
  swim across them... They yield no fish to catch... What did the
  King of Hyrule say?... That the gods sealed Hyrule away? And they
  left behind people who would one day awaken Hyrule?
[Ganon laughs]
Ganondorf: How ridiculous... So many pathetic creatures, scattered
  across a handful of islands, drifting on this sea like fallen
  leaves on a forgotten pool... What they can possibly hope to
  achieve? Don't you see? All of you... Your gods destroyed you! I
  have been waiting for you, boy. For one like you... Yes... For the
  hero.
[Ganon laughs]
Ganondorf: Do not betray my expectations.

[Out on the roof of Ganon's tower. Link is ready with weapon in hand
  to meet Ganon who is now gazing off into space, lost in thought]
Ganondorf: My country lay within a vast desert. When the sun rose
  into the sky, a burning wind punished my lands, searing the world.
  And when the moon climbed into the dark of night, a frigid gale
  pierced our homes. No matter when it came, the wind carried the
  same thing... Death. But the winds that blew across the green
  fields of Hyrule brought something other than suffering and ruin. I
  coveted that wind, I suppose. It can only be called fate.... That
  here. I would again gather the three with the crests.... That I
  should lay my hand on that which grants the wishes of the
  beholder... That when power, wisdom, and courage come together, the
  gods would have no choice but to come down... The power of the
  gods... The Triforce! He who touches it will have whatever he
  desires granted! Already, the crest of wisdom is mine... All that
  remains...
[The crest of courage glows on the back of Link's hand]
[Ganon attacks]


386720,386722c390620,390628
Uncle Max: Timon the sentry? Why don't you save the hyenas the
  trouble and kill me now? JUST KILL ME NOW!
Timon: [to Mom] He has a point.
Mom: All you have to do is watch for hyenas and yell if you see one.
  Look at Iron Joe.
Iron Joe: [camera pans over to Iron Joe] DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES! DON'T
  LOOK AWAY! SOMEBODY'S GONNA GUARD US! SOMEBODY'S GONNA PROTECT US!
  [sobs uncontrollably]
Timon: [camera pans over to Timon] Well, now I'm convinced...
386843a390750,390751
Rafiki: Any story worth telling is worth telling twice.

387317c391225
Philip II, King of France: I am a king - I am no man's "boy"!
387321c391229
[Gazing into a mirror]
387338c391246
[to Prince John]
387342c391250
Eleanor of Aquitaine: I made Louis take me on Crusade. I dressed my
387366c391274
  the only pawn. I haven't got a thing to lose - that makes me
387373,387376c391281,391285
  the kind of man you are. I know your plans and expectations -
  you've burbled every bit of strategy you've got. I know exactly
  what you will do, and exactly what you won't, and I've told you
  exactly nothing. To these aged eyes, boy, that's what winning looks
  like!
387378c391287
Henry II, King of England: I'm villifying you for God's sake - pay
388407,388408c392316,392322
Little Red Riding Hood: [to the wolf dressed as grandma] Hey,
  Grandma! That's an awfully big nose for you... TO HAVE!

Bugs Bunny: [as Red Riding Hood interrupts him at the end] I'll do
  it, but I'll probably hate myself in the morning! [Replaces the
  Wolf with Red Riding Hood over a shovel of coal with heavy things
  piled on top]
392387c396301
Bill Lee: Bowie Kuhn should be ashamed of himself. He's not, but he
392389a396304,396307
Bob Costas: Bob and Ken Forsch... capitalism, socialism... religion,
  atheism, agnosticism... Bob Forsch and Ken Forsch... these are the
  big questions.

394328a398247,398250
Eowyn: Why are you doing this? The war lies to the East. You cannot
  leave on the eve of battle. [pause] You cannot abandon the men.
Aragorn: Eowyn...

395745a399668,399672
Ranger Brad: I've seen a bear do things, well... even things that
  even a bear wouldn't do.

Dr. Paul Armstrong: The only person I want in your head is me.

397701a401629,401634
[from trailer]
Sofia: I don't think I can give him up.

[from trailer]
Monica Garcia: What about school, your plans, the chart, everything?

398870a402804,402820
# Ma and Pa Kettle Back on the Farm (1951)
Ma Kettle: Pa, you're lazier than that old hound dog we used to have.
Pa Kettle: Which one?
Ma Kettle: The one that used to lean against the wall when she
  barked.

Elizabeth Parker: You know, Ma, I bet you once had an hourglass
  figure.
Ma Kettle: Yeah, but the sand sure shifted.


# Ma and Pa Kettle Go to Town (1950)
Pa Kettle: I thought you might be a traveling salesman. A lot of them
  visit farms, you know.
Shotgun: Yeah, I've heard stories about them.


399977,399978c403927
Fox: God rot all royals! Give us the wisdom of America!
400606a404556,404558
Burt Ramsey: You smell like trouble.
Jimmy Gator: I'm fucking hammered, Burt.

401487a405440,405443
# Making Waves (1994)
Gabriel: We don't mention the loins and the lust thereof up here.


402853,402866c406809,406822
[voiceover narration, referring to his lawyer's courtroom speech]
Ed Crane: And then it was Riedenschneider's turn. I gotta hand it to
  him, he tossed a lot of sand in their eyes. He talked about how I'd
  lost my place in the universe; how I was too ordinary to be the
  criminal mastermind the D.A. made me out to be; how there was some
  greater scheme at work that the state had yet to unravel. And he
  threw in some of the old "truth" stuff he hadn't had a chance to
  trot out for Doris. He told them to look at me, look at me close.
  That the closer they looked, the less sense it would all make; that
  I wasn't the kind of guy to kill a guy; that I was The Barber, for
  Christsake. I was just like them - an ordinary man. Guilty of
  living in a world that had no place for me, yeah. Guilty of wanting
  to be a dry cleaner, sure. But not a murderer. He said I *was*
  modern man, and if they voted to convict me, well, they'd be
402911,402913c406867,406869
Reidenschneider: You say he was being blackmailed, by who? You don't
  know. For having an affair, with who? You don't know. Did anyone
  else know about it? Probably not, you don't know.
403136,403137c407092,407093
Cromwell: Now, Sir Thomas, you stand on your silence.
Sir Thomas More: I do.
403144c407100
  kill the prisoner with it; and my lordships there, instead of
403152,403153c407108,407109
  refused! He calls this silence. Yet is there a man in this court -
  is there a man in this country! - who does not know Sir Thomas
403155c407111
Crowd in court gallery: No!
403169c407125
William Roper: There is: God's law.
403172,403175c407128,407131
Sir Thomas More: This country is planted thick with laws from coast
  to coast. Man's laws, not God's. And if you cut them down - and
  you're just the man to do it - do you really think you could stand
  upright in the winds that would blow then?
403177,403178c407133,407134
Sir Thomas More: You threaten like a dockside bully.
Cromwell: How should I threaten?
403183,403187c407139,407144
Sir Thomas More: I am commanded by the king to be brief, and since I
  am the king's obedient subject, brief I will be. I die His
  Majesty's good servant, but God's first.
[to executioner, handing him his wages]
Sir Thomas More: I forgive you, right readily. Be not afraid of your
  office: you send me to God.
403211c407168
  soul for the whole world... but for Wales?
403215c407172
The Duke of Norfolk: What? Goddammit, he was the only judge since
403690a407648,407650
Manzano: Hey, hey... when can I sleep with you again?
Mariana: We never sleep. We fuck.

404217,404219c408177,408186
Bill Gartley: Do somethin'?
[to Lin Sue]
Bill Gartley: She wants me to do something!
[to Sherry]
Bill Gartley: I'll do somethin'! I'll do a little DANCE! That's what
  I'll do! I'll do a little jig for ya, Sherry!

[after seeing Mrs. Frawley get crushed by the mangler]
Bill Gartley: Ah, Frawley, you stupid old bitch. Always getting in
  the way. Goddamn it, goddamn it, goddamn it!
404617c408584
  they... they drive a man crazy! I didn't mean that. I didn't mean
404635a408603,408626
Frank Zito: How come all your models are women?
Anna D'Antoni: Well, it's just something I'm interested in, as a
  woman. In fact, this is my full series. It's called "Women Form".
  Not very original is it?
Frank Zito: Well, it's not the title that matters that much.
Anna D'Antoni: No, I guess not.
Frank Zito: Do you get to keep them all?
Anna D'Antoni: I'm hoping to sell them.
Frank Zito: I wouldn't. I'd keep them forever.
Anna D'Antoni: But why? Part of my profession is to sell photographs.
  It's not all for art's sake you know.
Frank Zito: I know, but why do you take pictures of women this way?
Anna D'Antoni: I like to make them look beautiful.
Frank Zito: No, I think it's to preserve them. You see, the beauty is
  already in the model.
Anna D'Antoni: Frank, don't be silly. Listen, I'm the photographer,
  right?
Frank Zito: Right.
Anna D'Antoni: So, I should know what I'm doing.
Frank Zito: I know, but to me things change. People die. But in a
  picture or painting, they're yours forever.
Anna D'Antoni: There's no way you can possess someone forever. Even
  in a photograph, there's no way.

405465c409456
Art Land: I'm not a crook, I'm ambitious. There's a difference.
405477,405478c409468,409469
Art Land: If the Martians land, the're gonna need a place to stay.
  Just like everybody else.
407718,407720c411709,411717
Bane: I want what you want.... Yes. That's it, Mr. Anderson. Look
  past the flesh. Look through the soft gelatin of these dull cow
  eyes and see your enemy!
Neo: ...No.
Bane: Oh yes, Mr. Anderson.
Neo: It can't be...
Bane: There's nowhere I can't go. There's nowhere I won't find you.
Neo: It's impossible...!
Bane: Not impossible. Inevitable. Goodbye, Mr. Anderson.
409894,409895c413891,413893
Homeschooled Boy: And on the third day, God created the Remington
  bolt-action rifle, so that Man could kill the dinosaurs. And
  homosexuals.
409930,409933d413927
409935a413930,413943
Damien: Oh my God! I love this song!
Janis: I hate this song.
Cady: I KNOW this song!

Cady: I know it may look like I was being a bitch, but that was only
  because I was acting like a bitch.

Betsy Heron: Where's Cady?
Chip Heron: She went out.
Betsy Heron: But she's grounded.
Chip Heron: They're not supposed to go out when they're grounded?

Kevin Gnapoor: [referring to Cady] Hey, Africa.

411637c415645
Ollie: Go ahead and drink your half.
411639,411644c415647,415652
Ollie: Do you know what you've done?
[nods]
Ollie: What made you do it?
Stan: I couldn't help it.
Ollie: Why?
Stan: My half was on the bottom.
413124a417133,417148
# Messer im Kopf (1978)
[first lines]
[English subtitles: voiceover as Hoffmann looks out his office
  window]
Hoffmann: An American in my case would start shooting out the window.

[last lines]
[English subtitles]
Hoffmann: Why did you lie?
Schurig: Nobody ever asked me. It was exactly like this. It doesn't
  matter anymore. Who cares now?
Hoffmann: I do.
Schurig: You're crazy.
Hoffmann: Maybe. Maybe not.


414594,414595d418617
416539c420561
Rufus Riley: [to Agatha] Are you reading my mind right now?
416541c420563
Rufus Riley: [to Agatha] I'm sorry for whatever I'm going to do and I
416550a420573,420574
Agatha: You can choose...

418010a422035,422038
Deputy Pell: Funny, their kids are so cute.

Mrs. Pell: You marry the first guy that makes you laugh.

418216a422245,422248
Bleek: Who asked you?
Left Hand Lacey: Nobody asked me, man.
Bleek, Shadow Henderson: [in unison] Then shut the fuck up!

421483a425516,425518
Johnny Cage: I think I'm gonna hurl Sea-sick huh? What gave it away?
  Was it my green skin tan and my delightful odour?

421642a425678,425681
# Mother (1996/I)
Mrs. Jay: find your sincerity deplorably nauseating.


424531,424533d428569
429032c433068,433069
  quietly, Señor, or I shall whip you.
[Gets tangled in his own whip]
429038c433075,433077
  house with four aces high.
[to Canasta]
Daffy Duck: What do you have?
429967c434006
[at Myron's sex-change operation]
429970,429971c434009,434010
Surgeon: No! That would make them inflammable! You don't want
  inflammable tits, now, do you?
429973,429975c434012,434014
[at Myron's sex-change operation]
Surgeon: You realize, once we cut it off, it won't grow back. I mean,
  it isn't like hair, or fingernails, or toenails, you know.
429978c434017
Myron: Come on, come on, come on! Let's get it over with! Myra's
429983,429991c434022,434031
Myra: I am Myra Breckinridge, whom no man will ever possess. The new
  woman whose astonishing history started with a surgeon's scalpel,
  and will end... who-knows-where. Just as Eve was born from Adam's
  rib, so Myron died to give birth to Myra. Did Myron take his own
  life, you will ask? Yes, and no, is my answer. Beyond that, my lips
  are sealed. Let it suffice for me to say that Myron is... with me,
  and that I am the fulfillment of all his dreams. Who is Myra
  Breckinridge? What is she? Myra Breckinridge is a dish, and don't
  you ever forget it, you motherfuckers - as the children say
  nowadays.
432952a436993,436994
Joe Byrne: Surely there's no harm in being friendly

433764c437806
Frank Hackett: Mr. Jensen is unhappy with Howard Beale and wants him
433768c437810
Frank Hackett: Two billion dollars is not pique! That's the Wrath of
434603a438646,438655
Crutchy: Jack, when I walk, does it look like I'm faken' it?
Jack: Nah, Crutchy, who says yeh faken' it?
Crutchy: I don't know... It's just there's so many fake crips on the
  streets today, a real crip ain't gotta chance. I gotta find me a
  new sellin' spot where they ain't used to seein' me!
Mush: [singing] Try Bottle Alley or da harbor
Racetrack: [singing] Try Central Park it's gaurenteed
Jack: [singing] Try any banker, bum, or barber
Skittery: [singing] They almost al knows how to read!

435887c439939
Steward: Yes, sir!
435898c439950
Mrs. Claypool: Get off that bed. What would people say?
435900a439953,439956
Henderson: Where did all these beds come from?
Otis B. Driftwood: Oh, you know how those things are when they get
  together - breed like rabbits!

439446,439447c443502,443505
Sam McCord: Aw, women. I never met one yet that was half as reliable
  as a horse.

Sam McCord: Women. Peculiar.
439469a443528,443574
# Northwest Passage (1940)
[repeated line]
Maj. Robert Rogers: I'll see you at sundown, Harvard.

Hunk Marriner: [mumbles] Better off in jail.

Langdon Towne: What did he have in the sack?
Maj. Robert Rogers: [pause] The head of an Abenaki indian.

Konkapot: [holding stomach] Konkapot... sick... Indian! Konkapot...
  so... so... sick!

Maj. Robert Rogers: Rejoin your company, Marriner.
Hunk Marriner: Langdon's wounded! [pause] I'm not leaving him!
Maj. Robert Rogers: [shouts] Another word out of you and I'll have
  you shot! Now rejoin your company!
Hunk Marriner: [mumbles] Yes, sir.

Maj. Robert Rogers: [trying on indian moccasins] Don't any of these
  red hellions have man-sized feet?

Lt. Crofton: [giving away his share of parched corn] If you fellows
  were smart, you wouldn't have to eat corn! [scurries away laughing]
Langdon Towne: [limps into camp on a crutch] Food? Where's the food?
Hunk Marriner: Langdon! [runs towards him] You're just in time for a
  little corn with the rest of us roosters!

Cap Huff: [watching the column of rangers march past] Ain't you
  goin'?
Hunk Marriner: [looks up in disbelief] No... I've been!

Elizabeth Browne: [standing alongside Langdon Towne as Major Robert
  Rogers and his rangers march into the distance] Is there, Langdon?
  Is there a Northwest Passage?
Langdon Towne: Who knows. [pause] It's every man's dream to find a
  short-route to his heart's desire. If the Major dreams long enough,
  he'll find it.
Elizabeth Browne: Will we hear from him?
Langdon Towne: Hear from him? [pause] Everytime we look across the
  river we'll hear his voice calling us through the wind. He'll be
  within us, Elizabeth - wherever we are or he may be - for that man
  will never die.

Jesse Beacham: [having just shot an Abenaki Indian] Prettiest shot
  I've ever made!


439775a443881,443882
Fausto: You've got a BMW. Act like it!

440826,440828c444933,444936
  thy wonders to perform, but this latest wonder takes some beating
  even from you. So what we want to say is thanks a million for
  sending us Euphemia and Inviolata. And keep an eye on them, won't
  you? They need you. Amen.
440837c444945
Sister Superior: Who are you going to give this money to?
441717,441718c445825,445828
Zack Stone: I don't want to hurt anyone. But unfortunately you happen
  to be standing right where my gun's about to go off.

Doc Valentine: Jim, beam me up!
443773c447883
Ali Hakim: Ohh - I don't remember...
443789a447900,447912
Curly: [singing] There's a bright golden haze on the meadow, There's
  a bright golden haze on the meadow. The corn is as high as a
  elephant's eye, And it looks like it's climbin' clear up to the
  sky. Oh, what a beautiful mornin', Oh, what a beautiful day! I got
  a beautiful feelin' Everything's goin' my way.

Ali Hakim: It's a wonderful thing to be married. I got a brother in
  Persia got six wives.
Ado Annie Carnes: Six wives all at once?
Will Parker: Why, sure. That's the way they do in them countries.
Ali Hakim: Not always; I got a brother in Persia only got one wife.
  He's a bachelor.

444503c448626
  front of a chessboard]
444543c448666
Neville: And Speedy Bob Neville - his great legs churning goes
444547c448670
[Going mad]
444578c448701
Matthias: Definition of a scientist - A man who understands nothing
444587a448711,448712
Matthias: You are discarded. You are the refuse of the past.

444871a448997,449004
# On the Downlow (2004)
Angel: Angel: No use living in hell when you know where the door to
  Heaven is.

Priest: One is not forced into being bad my son, one decides for
  himself what he will or will not do.


445319a449453,449457
[El Mariachi takes a piece of pork from Sands' plate and chews it]
Sands: Was I right?
[El Mariachi spits out the piece of pork in disgust]
Sands: Hmmm. Guess not.

446053a450192,450196
Costello: He's gonna make a wonderful husband.
Abbott: You don't even know what a husband is.
Costello: A husband is what's left of a sweetheart after the nerve
  has been killed.

450006,450009c454149,454152
Cecilia: Well, there's no publicity, so there's no people; Gutter
  never showed up, so there's no beer; instruments just blew out, so
  there's no band; and I think Raji and Deege may be dead.
Droz: Wait a minute... no beer? Well, where the hell's Gutter?
450042,450043c454185,454187
[stealing a car, finds The Club, still in the package with the words:
  Police say "Use it"]
Droz: Well, that's good thinking.
450047c454191
Katy: Hey, Droz, how 'bout this: Tonight, at the Pit, "Everyone Gets
450070,450077c454214,454222
Droz: Ok, now it's true, the majority of students today are so
  cravenly PC, they wouldn't know a good time if it was sitting on
  their face, but there's one thing that will always unite us and
  them. They're young. They may not realize it yet. They've got the
  same raging hormones, the same self-destructive desire to get
  boldly trashed and wildly out of control. Look out that window!
  That's not a protest! That is cry for help! They're begging us...
  [Shouts] Please have a party! Feed us drinks! [Continues shouting]
  Get us laid! Aahhhhhh!
450094c454239
Droz: Go to sleep! Why won't you just go to sleep!
450733a454879,454881
Imogene: [talking to Addie about Miss Trixie] I tried to push her out
  of a window in Little Rock once.

451425a455574,455575
Hrundi V. Bakshi: Howdy partiner.

451623a455774,455776
Mary: My son... when, where, how... will you choose to be delivered
  of this?

451640a455794,455806
Charlie: Oh I must've misread the... I just... I thought you wanted
  to see me again...
Celia Amonte: Charles? I do want to see you again but just, not on
  the ocean...
Charlie: Oh phew! And I thought it was me.

Daniel: Charlie... what'd ya do forget your swimsuit?
Charlie: Oh I was hopin' we could all go skinny dipping.

Celia Amonte: I just didn't think if you as the sailor type...
Charlie: Oh 'cause you haven't seen my gills.
Celia Amonte: [laughs]

452121c456287
  the wars enjoyed the honor of a triumph - a tumultuous parade. In
452228a456395,456398
Moroccan Minister: [Morroccan Minister speaking to Patton,in
  presenting award, immediately after placing medal around Patton's
  neck] The lions in their den's tremble at his approach.

452568a456739,456740
Shorty: Say one word about this hat, and I'm outta here.

454091a458264,458266
[the Andrea Gail is climbing a gigantic wave]
Captain Billy Tyne: C'MON, YOU BITCH!

454841a459017,459030
Peter: You can't catch me and make me a man.

Peter: I'm the best there ever was!

Peter: She is to tell us stories... SHES...
Slightly: Dead... awful.
Curly: Tragic.
Nibs: Good shot, though.

Mrs. Darling: And what's your name?
Nibs: Nibs. I plan the battles.
Mrs. Darling: Would you like a mother, Nibs?
Nibs: [crying] Yes!

455004a459194,459198
# Petticoat Planet (1996)
Delia Westwood: I have nothing against men. I think every woman
  should own one.


456506a460701,460710
# Pieces of April (2003)
Joy Burns: I only have one *nice* April memory. only one. She was
  about three or four. And she was sitting at the window. An she
  turned to me and said "oh mother on't you just love every day?"

Joy Burns: [Joy has been smoking marijuana in a convenience store
  bathroom] Honey next time roll it a little tighter all right?
Timmy Burns: Ummm alright mom


456992a461197,461202
# Piranha (1995) (TV)
Gina Green: I'm kind of like a promotion. You have to earn me.

Whitney: They're eating the guests, sir.


458049,458050c462259,462260
# Pizza King (1999)
Bobby: Are you stupid?
458053,458054c462263,462264
# Pizza Runners (1996)
Lou: The way to solve life's problems is to attack!  Attack!
460841a465052,465055
# Polymorph (1996)
Carlos: The problem is that you know what we look like.


461895,461897c466109,466111
Suzanne Vale: It's not the fact that you fuck around A LOT, it's that
  you lie about it. You could have just told me the truth and then
  fucked them ALL. Had the cigarette with me.
461899,461900c466113,466114
  not the fact that you left, it's the way that you did it. It's not
  that you fuck around, it's that you lie about it. You're all so
461910c466124,466125
Suzanne Vale: Well what was it, a viral love? Kind of a 24 hour
  thing?
461920,461921c466135,466136
Doris: Are you not so mad at me now?
Suzanne: I am always not so mad at you, Mama.
461923,461927c466138,466143
Doris: You know what they say. No pain, no gain.
Suzanne: Well, no wonder I'm so hefty.
Doris: Hefty? If you ask me I think you're too thin. Now my stomach,
  that's hefty.
Suzanne: I was kidding.
Doris: I don't get your generation most of the time.
461929c466145
Marty Wiener: Then I think you should get one.
461935,461937c466151,466152
Evelyn Ames: You mean asking me who I have sex with isn't personal
  anymore? What do you want to know, if I smoke?
461996,461997d466210
462098,462100d466310
462144a466355,466376
Suzanne: Ma, I'm middle-aged.
Doris: Dear, *I'm* middle-aged.
Suzanne: Really. And how many one hundred and twenty year old women
  do *you* know?

Suzanne: Did you want some more cashews, Grandpa?
Grandpa: Did I already have some?
Grandma: He gets worse every day.
Grandpa: Who gets worse? I heard that! Get off my back, woman! Yap,
  yap, yap. That's all you do, all the livelong day. I wanna go home.
Grandma: We're going home, dear.
Grandpa: Not with you! [smiles at Aretha] Are we going soon?
Aretha: Soon, sir. Very soon.
Grandpa: You know what my daddy did?
Aretha: What?
Grandpa: [confused] What were we talking about?
Grandma: See what I mean?
Grandpa: Leave me alone, woman! Yap, yap, yap. [singing] And the
  farmer hauled another load away... [wanders off across the lawn]
Grandma: [sighs] The other night he punched me when I was trying to
  put some clean pajamas on him.

462979,462980c467211,467212
Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: [to Julius] Now why don't you ask him how he
  won the Medal of Honor?
462983,462985c467215,467216
Sgt. Major Ross Maclure: You want to live to be nine?
Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell: Obviously he didn't win it for charm.
463024a467256,467277
Miss Parker: You just can't trust a man with a stolen thumb.

Mr. Lyle: Stay out of it.
Miss Parker: Love to. Can't.

Mr. Lyle: God, you're a crazy bitch.
Miss Parker: You don't know the half of it.

Alex: I'm not a psychopath. I'm a sociopath. There's a difference.
  See, a psychopath is insane. He can't distinguish between wrong and
  right. A sociopath knows the difference. He just doesn't have a
  conscience, you know? So he doesn't care.

Jarod: Let me help you.
Alex: Now, why would you want to help me?
Jarod: I have a flaw in my character, remember?
Alex: No, thanks.
Jarod: It doesn't have to end this way.
Alex: You don't know what you're saying, Jarod.
Jarod: I know that there is always hope. Always!
Alex: There's no hope for me. Or for you.

463250a467504,467516
# Prey for Rock & Roll (2003)
Tracy: Actually, I'm in a band so that I can get laid.
Jacki: C'mon dude, chicks do not need to be in a band to get laid.

Jacki: Now, here's a silly question: is Tracy here yet.

Jacki: Got to go pee.

Jacki: Tacy, while we were waiting for, we took a vote. We're now a
  cover band.
Tracy: Cover this, dude.


463651a467918,467928
Paige: We did King Lear, now we're on the sonnets. Next it's Hamlet,
  which is about a whiny prince from Denmark. What does that have to
  do with reality?
Eddie: More than you think.
Paige: Well you're from Denmark. Do you even have princes?
Eddie: Yes, I think we do.

Paige: Are there a lot of princes where you're from, or are you kinda
  it?
Eddie: I'm it.

463655,463656c467932,467933
  crazy little man named Rumplestiltskin will show up... and SKULL
  FUCK your eyes out!
465456c469733
Ulla: God dag, på dig!
465458c469735
Ulla: God dag, på dig!
466398,466399c470675,470677
Florence "Chicklet" Forrest: [as Ann Bowman] I'm no mere chick! I'm a
  goddess! And the first thing I'm gonna sacrifice are ya balls,
  sonny!
466401,466402c470679,470680
Florence "Chicklet" Forrest: [as Ann Bowman] Who do you have to FUCK
  to get a hot dog in this dump?
467370a471649,471650
Jules Winnfield: You, Flock of Seagulls.

467886c472166
Gerry McCarten: We'll do C & A's, Smiths, Boots, Marks & Sparks...
467901,467902c472181,472183
  crossing the inner-ring road, late last Thursday night. We will all
  miss Billy McCarten.
Gerry McCarten: Thank fuck the busdriver didn't.
468236a472518,472526
# Putting It Together (2000) (TV)
The Wife: Why watch me die like Eliza on the ice?... Take back the
  cake, burn the shoes, and boil the rice!

The Wife: What is marriage? It's a prehistoric ritual where you
  promise fidelity forever which is perhaps the most terrifying word
  I've ever heard.


468666a472957,472958
Marius: Hello, David.

470028c474320
Penny Henderson: I told Dexter not to smoke. If you ask me, they
470031c474323
Claudette: Caught me at a bad time, kid. I'm in.
470033,470034c474325,474326
Claudette: Nobody enters my dressing room uninvited! What the hell do
  you think that star means?
470048a474341,474342
Milt Lackey: Retire? Who'd support my mother and father?

470669,470670c474963,474964
  and no - no toothpicks, I'm definitely, definitely not gonna have
  my pancakes w-with... [Charlie grabs him by the neck] OW!
470690c474984
[Raymond doesn't want to go outside when it rains]
470703c474997
  People's Court]
470755a475050,475052
Charlie: [Raymond making remarks about going to Cincinnati to get
  underwear] Ray, did you fucking hear what I said? SHUT UP!

473853a478151,478158
# Red Heat (1985)
Sofia: That's not shaving lotion. It smells like shit! And I don't
  like that smell. It offends me.

Sofia: Sofia looked after you. Sofia made you special. Nobody fucks
  with Sophia!


476148,476150c480453,480456
McLeach: Joannaaaa...? Did you know there was a razorback in my
  truck? Did ya? [Joanna nods] DID YA? [Joanna shakes her head] THERE
  WAS A RAZORBACK IN MY TRUCK! Now you get down there and do your
  job, you four-legged python!
476865c481171
# Return of Count Yorga, The (1971)
478086a482393,482395
Duchess of York: Are you my son?
Richard: Yes. I thank God, my father, and yourself.

479227,479230c483536,483539
Older Norman: [narrating] My father was very sure about certain
  matters pertaining to the universe. To him, all good things, trout
  as well as eternal salvation, came by grace and grace comes by art,
  and art does not come easy.
479234,479235c483543,483544
Older Norman: [narrating] In my family, there was no clear division
  between religion and fly fishing.
479251,479261c483560,483571
[last lines]
Older Norman: [narrating] Like many fly fishermen in western Montana
  where the summer days are almost Arctic in length, I often do not
  start fishing until the cool of the evening. Then in the Arctic
  half-light of the canyon, all existence fades to a being with my
  soul and memories and the sounds of the Big Blackfoot River and a
  four-count rhythm and the hope that a fish will rise. Eventually,
  all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river
  was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the
  basement of time. On some of those rocks are timeless raindrops.
  Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs. I
  am haunted by waters.
479268,479269c483578,483579
Older Norman: [narrating] It is those we live with and love and
  should know who elude us.
479282,479283c483592,483593
Rev. Maclean: [walking away from the river] The Lord has blessed us
  all today... It's just that he has been particularly good to me.
480813,480816d485122
480819,480821d485124
480848c485151
  because they'll think, "Upgrade. Fun."
480911,480912c485214,485215
Robin Williams: [as George Bush] "Many of our imports come from other
  countries." No shit, Jason
480947,480948c485250,485251
  terrible is going to happen." Excuse me? Could you give me a clue?
  What is this, the Central Intuitive Agency?
480981,480982c485284
  an all white trash weekend.
481071,481072c485373
  suit..."We're going in today, Pete. We didn't make the deadline."
481085c485386
  you've had a problem too?
482057a486359,486361
[at Levi's wife's gravesite]
Cy Blue Black: Poor Grandma. Bad worms.

484505c488809
Rosemary Woodhouse: Not fair to Saper - what about what's fair to me?
484555a488860,488861
Guy Woodhouse: It was kinda fun in a necrophile sort of way

485380a489687,489689
Henry Sherman: You wanna talk some jive? I'll talk jive like you've
  never seen!

487520c491829
[Carter has just been hit on by the gay Versace Salesman]
487546c491855
[Lee leaves, and Carter reluctantly follows]
487586a491896,491901
James Carter: Hey Lee! What are you doing?
Lee: ...Dancing
James Carter: Dancing! Man, im up here working, putting my life on
  the line, and you up here messing around, dancing with some
  Bimbo... Does she have a friend?

487790c492105
Barley: This is fun... Is that why you keep it secret?
487804c492119
  player, Wilfred Baker. [The interrogator starts writing] He's the
487828,487837d492142
488352a492658,492660
James: D'ya hear the one about the rock band who wanted to play with
  the symphony?

488478a492787,492788
Brian Gamble: [to Street] You're like a goddamn rash!

489058a493369,493373
# Saenghwalui balgyeon (2002)
Seon-young: Even though it's difficult to be a human being, let's not
  turn into monsters.


490436a494752,494757
[in the PG rated version]
Tony Manero: I gotta have an afternoon off, and I'm taking it.
Fusco: If you do, you're fired.
Tony Manero: I'm DOIN' it!
Fusco: Then you're FIRED!

490705a495027,495031
Alex Trebek: Alright Adam Sandler, you wrote down; 'Abbie Doobie'.
Adam Sandler: [Incoherently] Abie Doobie da, wooloola wooloola ah
  oole boole.
Alex Trebek: I feel like I want to punch you.

492088a496415,496426
Dean: Alright! Alright! Who's down with G-O-D?

[From the trailer]
Pastor Skip: Ah... I'm concerned about Mary, and I think that you
  could help her...
Tia: You mean like shoot her?
Pastor Skip: No, I was thinking something a little less gangsta.

Patrick: Do you wanna go out sometime? I'm like, totally cute.
Mary: Oh, I'm not dating right now.
Patrick: What about tomorrow? Will you be dating then?

493486,493487c497824,497825
Buffy Gilmore: Oh my god, we hit a boot!
Greg: Where's the foot?
493522,493523c497860,497861
Bobby: Well... We all go a little crazy sometimes. [Bobby shoot
  Shorty in the chest]
493525,493526c497863,497864
Shorty: [Lying on the ground] Oh, Cindy he shot me in the lung.
  [Smoke is coming out of the wound] Wanna hit this shit?
493532,493533c497870,497871
Brenda: Who?
Ray: Uhh... Brenda!
493535c497873
Ray: Damn girl, I sure like to get in your pants...
493544c497882
Cindy Campbell: Yes I do, uh, Miss Mann. Thanks for ball - I mean all
493557c497895
  walnut - you know, the usual.
493563c497901
  (camera clicks on) - Gail Hailstorm!
493565c497903
Gail Hailstorm: Cindy! Your ass looks huge! Comment? [punched in the
493625c497963
Shorty: Well, she had a phat ass! It was like BANG!
493660,493662c497998,498000
  the young girl who was attacked earlier this evening... You're on
  my foot, fat shit!
Cameraman Kenny: Sorry, G -
493674a498013,498014
Dawson Leery: [starts to climb through a window] Whoops! Wrong set!

495034a499375,499376
Dewey Finn: You have to use your head and your mind and your brain.

495067a499410,499415
Scooby-Doo: rimage ris everything
Daphne: yes, image is everything. okay the whole city is watching, so
  try to keep a brave face
Shaggy: huh
Shaggy: guys they're costumes
Shaggy: she's right scoob up close they look totally fake
496049a500398,500401
# Scream Queen Hot Tub Party (1991) (V)
Michelle Bauer: No screaming unless you get paid for it.


496135c500487
Ebenezer: [Giggling] No. Mrs. Dilber - I'm not mad. [He ruffles his
496149a500502,500504
Ebenezer: [grumpily] I don't deserve to be so happy. [starts laughing
  uncontrollably again] I can't help it!

497369,497371c501724,501728
Mort: I'll call you later.
Sheriff: Okay.
[Mort drives a short distance away]
Mort: I'm gonna' call you on the phone!
Sheriff: [long pause] Okay.
497407a501765,501769
Ken Karsch: What happened? You finally bang one of your groupies?
  Omaha Barnes & Noble? I'm sorry. Rotten profession.

Mort: I buried my dog, mister!

498697a503060,503071
# September (1987)
[The electricity goes off]
Lloyd: I like walking around in the pitch black. I think I just put
  my hand in guacamole.

Diane: The Richmonds are flooded, electricity's gone off. God is
  testing us and I for one am gonna be prepared. Where's the vodka?

Diane: Jesus! Look at my hands. Now really, I am too young for liver
  spots. Maybe I can merge them into a tan.


501011,501012c505385,505387
Carson: You want me to go all the way up there, to a Yankee school,
  just so I can come over every weekend and practice "free love" with
  you?
501953a506329,506336
Roy: [Wang is trying to save Roy who is tied up under water. All we
  can hear are there garbled voices. Subtitles appear on screen] .
  Where have you been?
Chon Wang: I was busy
Roy: Unbelievable!
Chon Wang: Patience, Roy.
Roy: Tell that to the eel swimming up my ass.

502835c507218,507219
District Attorney: And that also is very convenient, isn't it, Mr.
  Dufresne?
506127c510511
Wolf: What?
506129c510513
Wolf: NO!
506131c510515
Wolf: She's on her honeymoon.
506133a510518,510520
Shrek: The kingdom of FAR FAR Away, Donkey? That's where we're going!
  FAR! FAR!... away.

506142a510530,510608
Shrek: Join the club. We got jackets.

Donkey: I'm Coming Elizabeth! [passes out]

Captain of the Guards: Yep, that's catnip...
Puss-in-Boots: Um... that's... not mine...

Puss-in-Boots: [Donkey collapses in a dead faint] Hey, boss. Let's
  shave him.

[after drinking a beauty potion]
Donkey: I don't *feel* any different. Do I look any different?
Puss-in-Boots: You still look like an ass to me!

Donkey: Just lie and say that you're wearing lady's underwear.
Pinocchio: Um, Ok. I'm wearing ladies underwear.
[silence]
Shrek: Are you wearing ladies underwear?
Pinocchio: I most certainly am not [nose extends]
Shrek: Yeah you are.
Pinocchio: No I'm not.
[nose extends]
Shrek: What kind are you wearing?
Gingerbread Man: IT'S A THONG!

Pinocchio: I'm a real boy!

Gingerbread Man: It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a
  Popsicle stick!

Shrek: So, Fiona's father bought you off?
Puss-in-Boots: Oh, the rich king? Sí.

Puss-in-Boots: [as Shrek and Fiona reunite] Whatever happens, I must
  not cry.

Princess Fiona: Is that glitter on your lips?
Prince Charming: Yes, cherry flavored. Want a taste?

Donkey: [to Puss-in-Boots] The position of annoying talking animal
  has been filled.

Donkey: Don't I have the right to remain silent?
Shrek: Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent. What you lack, is
  the capacity.

[Convincing Donkey to let Puss come with them]
Shrek: Not many cats can wear boots...

Fairy Godmother: I don't care whose fault this was, just get it
  sorted! And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
  and smothered in chocolate...

Queen: So, you live in a swamp? That sounds like a fine place to
  raise the children.
Shrek: It's a little early to be thinking about that, isn't it?
King: Indeed! I had just started eating.

Puss-in-Boots: Pray for mercy from Puss... in boots.

Princess Fiona: Shrek?
Puss-in-Boots: For you, Baby, I could be.

Gingerbread Man: Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man! We got a big order to
  fill.

Puss-in-Boots: I am puss... In boots...
[cough - hack - cough]
Puss-in-Boots: Hairball...

Puss-in-Boots: I must hold on before I too go mad.
Pinocchio: Shrek? Donkey?
Puss-in-Boots: Too late.

Donkey: Then this fool went off and had a party, and they all
  starting trying to pin a tail on me. Then they all got drunk, and
  started hitting me with sticks, yelling "Piñata! Piñata!" What a
  piñata, anyway?

507278a511745,511746
Salesman: Foreigners!

507667,507669c512135,512137
Steve Canfield: So you may have to persuade him
Peggy Dayton: How can I persuade him if you can't ?
Steve Canfield: Because [you're] built differently...
508509c512977
# Sin (2003/I)
510047a514516,514543
# Skegs & Skangers (2002)
Susan: Baby, we should call our first child Zepellin.

Skeet: You'd have a lot in common with my father, he had a nervous
  breakdown too.

Laura: My god, ye are such pussy ass bitch drinkers.

Claire: Do you want me to want you to walk me home?

Kevin: Anyone watch Murder She Wrote this morning?

Ben: When George Harrison did something, he fucking did it right.

Sean: Dave, don't you think you've had too much to drink?
Dave: I maintain that I'm Irish and you should shut up.

Dave: Rain in Octember? No, no, no, no!

Emma: I'm warning you Claire, don't put her on the line! I don't want
  to talk to that bitch, I'm warning you- oh hey Sinead, how are you
  keeping?

Stevey: I gotta stay in and finish this painting for Sinead...
Skeet: You're painting a picture for that bitch? Nice one Picasso,
  nice one.


510773,510780c515269,515278
Phoebe: It turns out the killer was the shy 14 year old girl that
  everybody picked on. Only this girl, she wasn't really a girl. She
  was really a he. His aunt had been dressing him up like a girl ever
  since he was four years old. They found him naked on the beach
  holding the chopped off head of another camper. About 60 kids were
  killed and the camp had to be closed down. The End.

Sean Whitmore: Angela... You're Angela Baker. The Angel of Death. You
  killed all those kids at Camp Arawack. I should have called you
  Peter.
510782,510783c515280,515281
Sean Whitmore: My dad's a cop. He helped arrest you. Oh you should
  have heard him the day you got out.
511157a515656,515673
# Sleeping Beauty (1987)
Elf: I fell asleep, and while I was asleep, the princess pricked her
  finger, and she fell asleep... while I was asleep.
Master Elf: The princess has fallen asleep.
Elf: While I was asleep.
Master Elf: You shouldn't have fallen asleep.
Elf: Well, I'm sorry, Master.

Nana: Now where are you off to?
Rosebud: To find a prince.

[
White Fairy: Elf? Elf, time to sleep.
Elf: Oh, no. I don't want to go to sleep. I'll stay here and guard
  the princess.
White Fairy: All right. Keep your eyes open. I'm counting on you.


512899a517416,517419
Victor Joseph: Thomas, don't you even know how to be a real Indian?
  How many times have you seen "Dances with Wolves" anyways? 100...
  200 times? Oh jesus Thomas, you have seen it that many times?

514003,514004c518523,518524
Snow White: I've seen the comb somewhere before!
[ Evil Queen inserts poison comb into Snow White's scalp ]
514982,514983c519502,519503
Duncan: [walking into Hardy's party] It must be a hen house, because
  all I see is chicken shit.
514995,514996c519515,519516
Amanda Jones: I'd rather be with someone for the wrong reasons then
  alone for the right.
515005,515006c519525
Watts: [putting on Keith's diamond earrings] What do you think?
515056,515059c519575,519580
Ray: See, a lot of guys I know think that you're... confused. But I
  know it's just an act. Wanna know how I know?
Watts: Enlighten me.
Ray: Because you radiate this sexual vibe and I know that if you
  wanted, you could be a girl [snaps fingers] like that.
Watts: Ray, this is 1987. Did you know a girl can be whatever she
515061c519582
Ray: I know. My mom's a plumber.
515070a519592,519596
Duncan: We're gonna bring this party up to a nice respectable level.
  Don't worry, we're not gonna hurt anyone. We're not even gonna
  touch 'em. We're just gonna make 'em cry a little, just by lookin'
  at 'em.

516139,516141c520665,520667
Dr. Eve: You've been doing this for twenty-three years! What was your
  excuse before she died?
Brother Boy: My mind's a blank.
516267a520794,520795
Heishiro Mitsurugi: Pretentious fool!

517054a521583,521609
Voice on Radio: And so, the draft will being tomorrow as more and
  more troops are needed to invade the Canadian border. The Canadian
  government pleads for a peaceful resolution, but naturally, we're
  not listening.

Terrence: [singing] Looks like we may be out of luck.
Phillip: [singing] Tomorrow night, we're really fucked!

Soldier: [marching by the Broflovskis' house] And I don't know what
  I've been told / Canadian pussy is mighty cold.

Sheila Broflovski: [singing] When Canada is dead and gone, there'll
  be no more Celine Dion!

[Kenny has just appeared for the second time]
Cartman: [not cursing to avoid getting shocked by V-chip] Son of a
  gun! Heck!

Stan: Chef, how do you make a woman like you more than any other guy?
Chef: Oh, that's easy. You just gotta find the clitoris.
Stan: Huh?
Chef: Whoops.

Sheila Broflovski: What's a rim job?
Mrs. Cartman: Why that's when you put your legs behind your head and
  have someone lick your ass.

517351a521907,521920
Bugs: Look at our facilities.
Daffy: We've got hoops!
Elmer Fudd: We've got weights!
Sylvester: We've got balls!
Michael Jordan: You sure do. This place is a mess.

Tweety Bird: Feed me! Feed me!
Sylvester: Feed you? Feed me!

Daffy: Just how did you get here, anyway?
Bill Murray: I'm a friend of one of the producers, he sent a Teamster
  to drop me off.
Daffy: Aha. Well, that's the way it goes.

518219,518220d522787
521572c526139
Pancho: Yes.
521582,521589c526149,526171
Jaime Escalante: [about Claudia] This girl's gotta do some work from
  the neck up. We're going to have to stay late again. Of course you
  know, we have pizza because they deliver. We can get fried chicken,
  hamburgers with cheese. We'll need donations. No, really, you owe
  me money anyway. You don't deserve the grades you're getting.
[Claudia gets up and leaves]
Jaime Escalante: Where are you going? Late for another date? She's
  got more boyfriends than Elizabeth Taylor.
Claudia: I don't appreciate you using my personal life to entertain
  this class.

Jaime Escalante: What'd you got?
Pancho: I got a core.
Jaime Escalante: You owe me a hundred percent. And i'll see you in
  the People's Court.

Lupe: Kemo, we're seniors. This is our year to slack off

Tito: Juan is X, Carlos is Y, Jose is X + Y. Is Jose bisexual or
  straight?

Jaime Escalante: It's not that their stupid, it's just they don't
  know anything
521656,521659c526238,526242
Teddy: Look, you guys can go around if you want to. I'm crossing
  here. And while you guys are dragging your candy asses across the
  state and back, I'll be waiting for you on the other side relaxing
  with my thoughts.
Gordie: You use your right hand or your left hand for that?
521688a526272,526294
Milo: Chopper, sic'em, Boy!
The Writer: Now he said, "Sic'em, Boy", but what I heard was,
  "Chopper, sic balls!"
Teddy: [Chopper turns out to be a small golden retriever] Ha ha ha!
  Come on, Choppy, sic my ass, sic my ass. Bite shit. Sic balls,
  Choppy.
Milo: Hey! Stop teasing my dog. Stop teasing that dog or I'm gonna
  beat your ass.
Teddy: Yeah, I'd like to see you try and climb over this fence and
  get me, fat ass!
Milo: Don't you call me that, you little tin weasel peckerwood
  looney's son.
Teddy: What did you call me?
Milo: I know you. You're Teddy Duchamp. Your dad's a looney. A looney
  up in the nuthouse in Tokus. He took your ear and he put it to a
  stove and burnt it off.
Teddy: My father stormed the beach at Normandy.
Milo: He's crazier than a shithouse rat. No matter you're acting the
  way you are with a looney for a father.
Teddy: You call my dad a looney again, I'll kill you.
Milo: Looney, looney, looney.
Teddy: Aah! I'm gonna rip your head off and shit down your throat!

521735a526342,526372
Vern: I wasn't that scared. I wasn't. Sincerely.
Gordie: Okay then you won't mind if we check the seat of your jockies
  for Hershey squirts, will you?
Vern: Go screw.

Mayor Grundy: [a crowd jeers Davy "Lardass" Hoagan on stage by
  calling him "Lardass" repeatedly] Pay no attention to those fools,
  Lardass. Er, I mean Davy.

Teddy: That was the all-time train dodge. Too cool. Vern, you were so
  scared you looked like that fat guy, Abbott Costello, when he saw
  the mummy.

Gordie: His name was Davy Hogan.
Vern: Like Joey Hogan's brother. If he had one.
Chris: [sarcastically] Good, Vern.

Teddy: I'll kill you!
Milo: Go ahead and try it, you little slimy bastard.
Chris: He wants you to come over here so he can beat the piss out of
  you and take you to the cops.
Milo: You watch your mouth, smart guy! Let him do his own fighting.
Gordie: Sure, you only outweigh him by 500 pounds, fat ass!
Milo: I know your name. You're Lachance. I know all you guys and all
  your fathers are gonna get a call from me. Except for the looney up
  in Tokus.
Teddy: Aah! I'll kill you!
Milo: You foul mouthed hula master!
Teddy: You son of a bitch! Nobody rakes on my old man. He stormed the
  beach at Normandy! He stormed the beach, you faggot!

521880a526518,526519
Andrew: We'll make sure you'll never reach Andross!

523432c528071
  the last to carry the name 'Enterprise'. [looks at Riker for a
523434c528073,528078
  [the two men demateralize]

[Worf has fallen into the ocean, after Riker ordered the computer to
  remove the holographic plank]
Picard: Number One, that's *retract* plank, not *remove* plank.
Riker: Of course, Sir. [leans over the side towards Worf] Sorry!
523902c528546
[After being surrounded by Klingons in a starship simulator]
523918c528562
[On whether Kirk should assume command from Spock]
523929c528573
[Kirk and McCoy are beaming down to Regula One]
523933c528577
[Kirk remotely commands Reliant's shields to drop]
523939c528583
[After allowing the simulated Enterprise to be destroyed]
523963c528607
  communicator]
524030c528674
[Khan, about to put Ceti Eels in Terrell and Chekov's ears]
524049c528693
  thought]
524074c528718
[Discussing the effects of the Genesis torpedo]
524123c528767
[Spock, having saved the ship, is dying]
524134c528778
  hand in the Vulcan salute] Live long and prosper.
524185a528830,528858
Kirk: Kirk to Enterprise.
Spock: Spock here.
Kirk: Captain Spock, damage report.
Spock: Admiral, if we go "by the book". like Lieutenant Saavik, hours
  could seem like days.
Kirk: I read you captain. Let's have it.
Spock: The situation is grave, Admiral. We won't have main power for
  six "days". Auxiliary power has temporarily failed. Restoration may
  be possible, in two "days". By the book, Admiral.
Kirk: Meaning you can't even beam us back?
Spock: Not at present.
Kirk: Captain Spock, if you don't hear from us within one hour, your
  orders are to restore what power you can, take the Enterprise to
  the nearest star base, and alert Starfleet Command as soon as
  you're out of jamming range.
Commander Nyota Uhura: Sir, we won't leave you behind!
Kirk: Uhura, if you don't hear from us, there won't be anybody
  behind. Kirk out.

Joachim: [Enterprise is running with shields down] They still haven't
  raised their shields.
Khan: Raise ours. [Joachim raises shields]
Spock: Their shields have gone up.
Khan: Lock phasers on target.
Joachim: [looks at targeting computer] Phasers locked on target, sir.
Spock: They're locking phasers.
Kirk: Raise shields!
Khan: Fire! [Joachim fires phasers]

527151a531825,531839
# Starship Titanic (1998) (VG)
The Bomb: The ship is now armed and preparing to explode. This will
  be a fairly large explosion, so you'd best keep back about 22
  miles.

Shorbut Sweet aka Succ-U-Bus: You want suck? I suck. You want blow? I
  blow. You want intellectual disputation? I got a big belch.
  [belches]

Parrot: Chicken, chicken, squawk, oh bliss! Oh bleeding heck, this
  chicken's cold! What's this, some sort of low-calorie fob-off?
  Where's the steaming fat? Where's the hot running grease? This is
  no chicken - this is some dirty no-good health food!


527377a532066,532069
Hutch: [ducking for cover] Hey, get that little kid!
Starsky: [ducking] It's not a kid, it's a really small person... And
  he's throwing knives.

527641a532334,532335
Dori Lawrence: I'm emotionally greedy and the prognosis is not good.

529288a533983,533985
Indian Chief: How.
Peter Minuit: Three minutes, and leave 'em in the shell.

530054c534751
Lt. Col. Robert 'Dutch' Holland: You got any kids?
530223a534921,534926
Guile: No handcuffs? Fighting isn't what it used to be!


# Street Fighter EX 3 (2000) (VG)
Zangief: [As a joke when he wins] Shoryuken!

531862c536565
Hubbs: Information without transportation equals dick.
533339a538043,538045
[last lines]
Mario: Thank you so much for a-playing-a my game!

533488a538195,538201
# Super Size Me (2004)
Morgan Spurlock: There is a big, knappy hair in my sundae.

Morgan Spurlock: I consumed over thirty pounds of sugar. That's an
  average of a pound of sugar a day.


534388c539101,539103
Ursa: [watching an Army helicopter] Look. They need machines to fly.
General Zod: What bravery. Be nice to them, my dear. Blow them a
  kiss.
534441a539157,539179
General Zod: [to Superman] And now... finally. Take my hand and swear
  eternal loyalty to Zod.

Sheriff: [sheriff turns on his car's siren] Hey, ya hippies! Get your
  butts off the road!
General Zod: I like the glow that flashes red like our Krypton sun.
  But not this irritating noise. Make way.

General Zod: The son of Jor-El will be my slave... forever. If not,
  the millions of Earthlings you protect shall pay for your defiance.
Lex Luthor: [Lex arrives] Hi, guys. Sorry I'm late.
General Zod: We have no more use for this one. Kill him.
Lex Luthor: Me? Lex Luthor? General, you came to me with nothing. I
  gave you Superman!
General Zod: Silence!

General Zod: Son of Jor-El. We were beginning to think you were a
  coward.
Superman: I'm not a coward, Zod.
Ursa: Let him prove it!
General Zod: [Zod uses heat vision to break off a slab of concrete,
  then prepares to throw it at Superman] Then die as you deserve to!

535290,535291c540028,540029
  movie...
[Takes video and beats it with a stick until it explodes]
535300a540039,540040
Mike: Plot? Its an action movie, dude.

535459,535485d540198
535518a540232,540258
# Swan Princess: The Mystery of the Enchanted Kingdom, The (1998)
Jean-Bob: I don't like my options.
Odette: Everybody out!
Jean-Bob: I still don't like my options.

Jean-Bob: Oh, sure, let the frog drive.  Frogs are known for their
  wagon driving.

Rogers: How could she leave me?  We were in love.  Wait, maybe I
  misunderstood her letter.  Yes, that's it. [Reads letter.] "Dear
  pumpkin.  I hate you.  Zelda."

Rogers: I beg you, apologize to Odette.  You know you're going to
  have to sooner or later.
Derek: Why do I always have to be the one to apologize?
Rogers: Because that's what we husbands do.  We hunt, we fish, we
  watch sporting events and we apologize.

Rogers: You know she's right.  She's always right.

Uberta: Rogers, this is your queen speaking.  You will regain
  consciousness this instant.

Zelda: You are so brave.  So handsome, too.  Even the nose.  Long,
  like jumbo frankfurter.


536176,536177c540916,540917
Mr. Tillman: Girl scouts?
Ben: No, swimming scouts from Stanford.
536188c540928
Madison: ...maybe not so little.
536246c540986
[Fantasizing about his Perfect Moment]
536278c541018
[On "Jack" surviving a nuclear holocaust]
536285c541025
[Spalding loudly knocks three times on his desk]
536287c541027
[On America]
536292c541032
[On his annoying upstairs neighbor]
536304c541044
[On dealing with the annoying upstairs neighbor]
536312c541052
[On dealing with the annoying upstairs neighbor]
536318c541058
[Spalding slams the "phone" down hard]
536321a541062,541066
Spalding Gray: [on British filmmakers] "Will the artists please get
  on the helicopters." "Will the artists please jump off the cliff."
  "Will the artists please..." I mean, they will get you to do
  ANYTHING that way.

537161,537162c541906,541917
  crash site and grab the data discs, how are you going to get out of
  there alive?
Gabe: I'm not sure. I'm making this up as I go.

Agency Operative Cmdr. Dillon Morgan: Archer, have you taken care of
  Logan?
Steven Archer: Not yet, we're working on it. He's proving
  troublesome.
Agency Operative Cmdr. Dillon Morgan: I want him finished, even if
  you have to blow up the whole state to do it.

S.V.R. Director Uri Gregorov: I have a war to stop.
538239a542995,543013
# Talking Head (1992)
I: The situation couldn't have been any worse. The work continued to
  stagnate. The staff members were dropping off because of the
  mysterious serial killer. And, hiding something important, Tamiko,
  my assistant, was probably keeping a watch over me. And, it's
  possible because of his obsession with the production, Handawara
  came back as a zombie. With those two as my team, I had to complete
  the unidentifiable movie.

Voice on PA System: This is a routine work-related announcement.
  After 2:00 p.m. the central elevator may be used for the
  transportation of dead bodies only.

Commercial Voiceover: The rich aroma that forcibly interrupts the
  story. The deep taste that makes even a zombie's eyes pop out. When
  you are tired of a confused story. For you, who know the
  difference, try Dog Blend.


538557a543332,543336
# Tango Octogenario (2003)
Eva: Do you always have to have the last word?
Adamo: Have I ever?


540893a545673,545683
# Ten to Chi to (1990)
Usami: Even brothers are subject to fate - you were born to be a
  ruler - war is your destiny!

Usami: His spirit is weak! How can he think that way and survive?

Kagetora: Is everyone's future preordained?

Kagetora: A fair fight is not always practical.


541987,541989d546776
543272c548059
[He puts them back on]
543284a548072,548077
Gilbert: The world needs a wake up call gentlemen... we're gonna
  phone it in.

Bearded Man: We could be pets, we could be food, but all we really
  are is livestock.

543365a548159,548160
Dink: I'm so tired of the drama.

543831c548626,548627
Nikki: Say that again! [She observes cold breath coming out of
  Scotty's mouth]
543833c548629
Nikki: No, silly, your breath!
543836c548632
Nikki: Oh, you ninny, look!
543839c548635
  here and die... without destroying a source of wisdom.
543889,543890c548685,548686
MacReady: Any way we can we fix it?
Garry: It's "gone", MacReady.
543900c548696,548699
MacReady: Somebody in this camp ain't what he appears to be. Right
  now that may be one or two of us. By spring, it could be all of us.
Childs: So, how do we know who's human? If I was an imitation, a
  perfect imitation, how would you know it was really me?
543911,543912c548710,548711
MacReady: Childs, we're going out to give Blair the test. If he tries
  to make it back here and we're not with him... burn him.
543933a548733,548740
MacReady: I dunno, it's like this: thousands of years ago this
  spaceship crashes, and this thing, whatever it is, jumps out or
  crawls out and gets entombed in the ice.
Garry: So, the Norwegians find it, and they dig it out of the ice...
MacReady: That's right, Garry. They dig it up, they cart it back to
  their base. Somehow it gets thawed, it wakes up, probaly not the
  best of moods, and... I don't know, I wasn't there!

545570c550377,550382
  way.

Adriana Cruz: I don't want him walking away from me, going to other
  reporters, and giving away my stories.
Archie Gates: What stories? You don't have any stories.
Adriana Cruz: You don't fuckin' tell people that.
546820c551632
# Ticks (1993) (V)
551267c556079
[Doctor Flamond is being rescued]
551289c556101
[Long pause. Both look at camera]
551298c556110
[The East German national anthem]
551340c556152,556153
Nick Rivers: Do you mind if I have a swig of this?
[picks up bottle]
551342,551344c556155,556158
Nick Rivers: [takes a mouthful, spits in disgust] What the hell is
  this stuff?
Chocolate Mousse: Gasoline.
[laughs]
551346c556160
Du Quois: [shouts] Latrine.
551348,551350c556162,556165
[Nick and Hillary arrive at the Potato Farm. Shetland pony is
  coughing]
Nick Rivers: What's wrong with him?
Wagon Driver: Oh, he caught a cold last week and he's just a little
553048a557864,557868
[in "Woody's Roundup" Jesse is trying to extinguish a dynamite fuse]
Stinky Pete the Prospector: You're just fannin' the flames, Jesse. It
  takes brains to put out that fire. [sits on the fuse, then jumps
  right back up] Yeow! My biscuits are burning!

553274a558095,558098
# Tracks of a Killer (1995)
Patrick Hausman: Women - can't live without 'em, can't kill 'em.


554573c559397
Daniel: LOOK.
554717c559541
Unicron: Destiny... you cannot... destroy... my... DESTINY!
554723a559548,559550
Scourge: But remember we belong to him
Galvatron: I belong to nobody. Yes Unicron. I will obey. To earth.

554800a559628,559633
Holly: Tomorrow it's gonna be with you. Huh, Joe? Please.
Joe: Yes.
Holly: You're better than that beer bottle. [sighs]

Holly: We need welfare and you can't have my fucking shoes!

556507c561340,561341
  Every blade of grass, every rock in the river... That is the way I
  love Helen.
556601,556602c561435,561436
Achilles: [To Priam] You are a far better king than the one leading
  this army.
556632a561467,561490
Odysseus: It is not an insult to say a dead man is dead.

Menelaus: [to Paris] See the crows? They've never tasted Prince
  before.

Agamemnon: Peace is for women and the weak.

Andromache: [To Hector] I can't imagine life without you.

Achilles: Let me tell you a secret, something they don't teach you in
  your temple. The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal,
  because any moment may be our last. Everything is more beautiful
  because we're doomed. You will never be more lovely than you are
  now. We will never be here again.

Achilles: Everything is more beautiful because we are doomed

Achilles: Men are wretched things.

Achilles: The gods envy us... because every breath might be our last.
  Everything's more beautiful that way.

Thetis: Your glory walks hand-in-hand with your doom.

560859a565718,565720
Christopher Tracy: I must have that disease. What is it?
Mary: It's called "Stupid".

564071a568933,568943
# Valley Forge (1975) (TV)
Gen. Washington: What I fight for is a dream - a mirage, perhaps -
  something that has never been on this green earth since man first
  worked it with his hands, and which does not exist and never will
  exist unless we put it there - the right of each man to govern
  himself in his own way.

Gen. Washington: This liberty will look easy by and by when nobody
  dies to get it.


564379c569251
# Vampire Hunter D (2000)
564552a569425,569427
Van Helsing: Werewolf
Carl: Oh-yes you'll be needing silver bullets [throws canister of
  bullets to Van Helsing rather fluently]
564592,564593c569467,569468
Cardinal Jinette: Sinned! I know! I know, you very good at that. You
  crashed through a window at Notre Dame!
564601c569476
  were to keep a low profile and what happens? Wanted posters! Your
564609,564610c569484,569485
  to do God's work.
Van Helsing: Why can't God do it himself?
564612c569487
Van Helsing: My life... my job... my curse... is to vanquish evil.
564618c569493
Carl: [after saving the woman from the vampire children] They've all
564620,564623c569495,569500
Barmaid: Oh thank you! You saved me
[kisses him on the cheek]
Barmaid: How can I repay you?
[Carl leans in and whispers something in her ear]
Barmaid: But you are a monk. Can you do that?
Carl: Actually, I'm a friar.
564641,564643c569518,569520
  right leg and, ah, 3 copper teeth.
Anna Valerious: How do you know he has copper teeth?
Van Helsing: 'Cause he's standing right behind you.
564645,564646c569522,569523
Van Helsing: Vampires, gargoyles, warlocks, they're all the same -
  best when cooked well.
564676c569553
Anna Valerious: [after Van Helsing has killed the Werewolf] You
564699,564700c569576,569577
Frankenstein's Monster: I am accustomed to pain.
Van Helsing: Lets us know we're alive.
564703c569580
Mr. Hyde: No, you bloody did not. You got me good.
564706c569583
Top Hat: You killed a vampire.
564708,564709c569585,569607
Top Hat: Vampires only kill what they need to survive. Now they will
  kill for revenge.

Villager: He killed a vampire!
Carl: Isn't that a good thing?
Top Hat: The Vampires only take what they need to survive. Maybe two
  or three a month... but now they will kill for revenge!

Carl: VAMPIRES [jumps up and then looks at the couch where the
  barmaid he had just made love to is] Now I remember!

Van Helsing: I can release the bolts. It's going to hurt!
Frankenstein's Monster: I am accustomed to pain!
Van Helsing: Let's you know you're alive!

Count Vladislaus Dracula: [grinning to himself] Oh, Gabriel!

Anna Valerious: Do you understand forgiveness?
Van Helsing: Yes... I ask for it often.

Dr. Victor Frankenstein: [about the monster] I could never allow him
  to be used for such evil!
Count Vladislaus Dracula: *I* could!
566293a571192,571210
Malathion: [seductively] I like to take the panel to the metal.

Malathion: You should know better than to park your car without using
  the CLUB! [hits Miss Devonshire across the head with the club]

Scabia: Sounds of bottles crashing is music to my ears!
Candy: I feel the same way when I hear a construction worker's drill.

Samantha: Slash, got any cool tattoos?
Slash: None that I can show you in public.

Irwin: I've got five dollars.
Samantha: Five dollars? You couldn't get in my purse, for five
  dollars.


# Vice Girls (2000)
Jan Cooper: You're obedient, Russo. I like that in a love slave.

566698a571616,571621
# Viewtiful Joe (2003) (VG)
Joe: Henshin a-go-go, baby!

Joe: Red Hot Kick!


566936c571859
The Virginian: If you want to call me that, smile.
568127a573051,573052
Brain Mouse: Pinky, once again you've left the lens cap on your mind.

568591c573516
John Witter: [to Buford] Ya know, ideals and realties are very far
568598,568599c573523,573524
Augie McCulluah: We otta take Sir Lancelot's big stick and shove it
  up his ass!
568601,568602c573526,573528
Buford: I'm gonna take, and take, and take, till they ain't got
  nothin left to give but BLOOD!... And I'm gonna take that, one drop
  at a time!
568626c573552
Luan Paxton: Lookin's for free... What I mean is lookin' don't cost
570663a575590,575594
Garth Algar: We're looking down on Wayne's basement. Only that's not
  Wayne's basement. Isn't that weird?
Wayne Campbell: Yeah, that's weird, man, that's weird. Garth! That
  was a haiku!

576074a581006,581009
Lazlo: Your wife is in a safe.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: My wife is in a safe?
Lazlo: Place. Safe place. Let me finish the sentence.

576260a581196,581200
[outside, several young girls are dancing naked over a fire]
Lord Summerisle: Afternoon Sergeant Howie. I trust the sight of the
  young people refreshes you.
Sergeant Howie: No sir, it does not.

577821c582761,582762
Grandpa Joe: Well, Mr. Salt finally got what he wanted.
Charlie Bucket: What's that?
577959,577960c582900,582903
Cathy: [to Tad] And at which point, Tad, If you are going back to the
  airport I will ride with you, and by the Route 73 cloverleaf, I
  will have given myself to you in ways you've only read about in the
  drugstore!
581477a586421,586431
Country Joe McDonald: Gimme an F!
Crowd: F!
Country Joe McDonald: Gimme a U!
Crowd: U!
Country Joe McDonald: Gimme a C!
Crowd: C!
Country Joe McDonald: Gimme a K!
Crowd: K!
Country Joe McDonald: What's that spell?
Crowd: FUCK!

582150a587105,587107
Carly: [trying to Climb out the window] I'd rather jump than burn to
  death!

582610c587567
Dr. Jean Grey: Senator ...
582614c587571
Dr. Jean Grey: Senator, please ...
582732c587689
Senator Kelly: I was afraid they'd ...
582906c587863
Logan: Have you ever ...
582908c587865
  someone like me it's ...
586408a591366,591369

Eric Vincke: Alright, Ledda, you can begin.
Angelo Ledda: He has to be able to keep track, I guess? [glares at
  Verstuyft]